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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work! - Girl with Pen

14 replies

GardenPath · 26/03/2010 02:17

girlwpen.com/?p=1729

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work!

  1. Don?t put drugs in people?s drinks in order to control their behavior.
  1. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!
  1. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!
  1. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.
  1. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON?T ASSAULT THEM!
  1. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
  1. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.
  1. Always be honest with people! Don?t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don?t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.
  1. Don?t forget: you can?t have sex with someone unless they are awake!
  1. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone ?on accident? you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.

And, ALWAYS REMEMBER: if you didn?t ask permission and then respect the answer the first time, you are committing a crime- no matter how ?into it? others appear to be.

OP posts:
dittany · 26/03/2010 11:12

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SkaterGrrrrl · 26/03/2010 11:31

dittany!

GardenPath · 26/03/2010 14:06

Oh, Dittany - you wag. lol.

OP posts:
blackcurrants · 26/03/2010 19:03

Dittany.

"When, oh when, are these women going to stop being so darned rapeable, walking around the place with their vaginas right there in front of them?!"

/end troll.

dittany · 26/03/2010 21:20

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GardenPath · 26/03/2010 21:56

Yeah, bring it on themselves, don't they? plain irresponsible. What is it about women that makes men want to rape them?

OP posts:
blinder · 26/03/2010 22:13

I think it's because we are just too hysterical and difficult to please. If only we would just stop pressing rape charges and complaining all the time.

Tchuh women eh?

blackcurrants · 27/03/2010 01:24

I hear you, Dittany. One of my (male) feminist friends said that as a teenage the thing that woke him up to feminism was a bumper sticker that said, simply: "Men can stop rape."

Apparently, it was a lightbulb moment for him. He'd never thought of it as something MEN did to WOMEN. It was something that just happened to women, y'know, like how it's reported in the press: "A woman was raped last week in xxxx place" - not "A man raped a woman last week..."

But seeing it like that: "Men can stop rape" - made him think about it, really think about it. And that was how he started on his path to feminism. Which is how I reframe the debate, when I can, in terms of rape that something men do, not something that happens to women. Rape is something men choose to do, and therefore something men can choose not to do. Which is why i'm into the "yes means yes" model of sex requiring enthusiastic consent, and why I try to challenge rape culture when I see it voiced by people around me.

sigh - it's a battle, though.

blackcurrants · 27/03/2010 02:05

Oh! Also this report (a big PDF file) suggests that men actually know when girls aren't into something.

In short, 'date/acquaintance' rape isn't just "A big mistake" - although that's the excuse/apology that people tend to make. In fact, this research shows that rapists are predators who get off on the power trip, and they KNOW that their victim is not consenting.

blackcurrants · 27/03/2010 02:06

oops, meant to say I got that link from this blog post, which has some nice analysis. Will stop spamming the thread now.

GardenPath · 27/03/2010 05:07

Don't be depressed, D. I posted it because it made me smile and, because of all the, as you say, brilliant, discussions. Is it not a
refreshing change to see sexual assault tips aimed at men rather than, as they usually are, at women - as if women must accept they are naturally going to be, and are natural, rape victims and must accept that men are naturally going to be rapists - (which is as much an insult to men) - and that it's up to women to take evasive action rather than that men must stop raping. It's our world, too.
Rape/sexual assault/harassment will stop (I hope) when men change their attitude to women (liked your post, Blackcurrants - must get that bumper sticker) and women also stop accepting it - boys will be boys - or even that they're culpable and feel shame if a man rapes or is violent towards them, as I was reading on another thread here. But for that to happen, women must know they have the support of their own society and that society will be outraged rather than ask 'what were you wearing?'

I have to grit my teeth at the oft used term (as seen/heard in the media, including Woman's Hour and on placards) "violence against women" or "violence towards women"; the term still gives the perception that men's violence (or violence towards women) is women's responsibility in that naming the victim rather than, indeed not at all, the perpetrator, psychologically relieves men who are, or have been, violent, of any personal responsibility for their actions - and relieves them of having to address their violence because they are not addressed. And also subconsciously reminds women of their physical powerlessness and vulnerability, thereby, in effect, albeit inadvertently, perpetuating oppression of women through fear.
I have a notion that using the term "men's violence" rather than "violence towards women" might be viewed as provocative (by whom, one might then ask) and, of course it goes without saying, not all men are violent. But if the cap fits.
What I'm saying is I think it's a positive thing that men should be encouraged, indeed expected, to address their own behaviour and attitudes to women, just as racists, say, should address theirs - they are in need of consciousness raising too, hence my first post, though the irony may be lost.

What do you think of the recent ad campaign on the telly re teenage domestic violence following NSPCC research? "If you could see yourself, would you stop yourself?"

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8515601.stm and

www.youtube.com/watch?v=XISA4LNjCic

I'm glad to see there's a version where the boyfriend himself is banging on window, i.e. challenging his own behaviour. Unfortunately, judging by some of the comments on the youtube one, some see it as accusatory towards boys rather than as it's meant, i.e. encouraging a change of attitude in boys (and girls).

OP posts:
TheShriekingHarpy · 04/04/2010 22:12

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banned861 · 17/03/2013 11:23

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NPET · 13/09/2024 17:13

It would be more acceptable without all the questions marks. Don't be so unsure of yourself!

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