Refuge to merge with relationship charity

[IwantToRetire]

Refuge, the UK’s largest specialist domestic abuse charity, and relationship education charity LMK (Let Me Know) are joining together as one organisation to drive long-term change in the prevention space.

Commencing on 19 October, the strategic merger of Refuge and LMK represents a significant opportunity to scale LMK’s outstanding relationship education programme to help young people build healthy relationships for life, while expanding Refuge’s comprehensive range of specialist support services.

The union is built on the shared commitment of both organisations to prevent relationship abuse and create a safer future for young people. It will accelerate the strategic ambitions of Refuge and LMK, maintaining both charities’ organisational identities and existing relationships with external stakeholders and partners.

A core feature of the integration is the expansion of LMK’s 10 Signs education workshops outside of London, allowing the trailblazing programme to reach more young people than ever before and provide them with a gateway into Refuge’s extensive support networks. This, in turn, will strengthen Refuge’s portfolio of services – including emergency accommodation, community-based services, and the 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline – and bolster its ongoing commitment to transforming societal understanding of domestic abuse.

Refuge and LMK will continue to provide their full range of services, while supporting all colleagues to carry on their vital work towards creating a world where domestic abuse is not tolerated. No job losses are anticipated: under the proposed terms of the merger, all 14 LMK colleagues will transfer to Refuge, joining its c.460 strong workforce.

Full article https://refuge.org.uk/news/refuge-and-let-me-know-announce-merger-to-deliver-domestic-abuse-prevention/

as someone mentioned, where organisations are being commissioned, funders may require provision beyond what women's organisations have so far provided- eg services for men
I don't have a problem with that as
male victims need services
there needs to be universal support to children and young people around understanding healthy vs unhealthy relationships, amd I don't think you can expect teachers to do this, they wouldn't have the depth of knowledge
someone needs to work with perpetrators
my feeling is that direct work with men who are either victim/survivors or perpetrators needs to be done by men, who can then develop theory and practice in this area, however, I don't see much evidence of this happening and what have hitherto been woman-centred organisations are picking up the slack

Respect run both the male victims helpline and the perp helpline and they would say doing them both together is extremely helpful for a number of reasons. There are also a number of male-led organisations out there but a lot of them are quite small so you wouldn't necessarily have heard of them. But in general there's virtually no money in the sector so the more specialised you are, the harder it is to get funded. Having more strings to your bow helps get commissioned.

I agree with this. A group in Derby (well one woman who runs several websites) got funding for Derby by Speaks Up. In it there is a perp programme some of the messaging around this I found really dangerous. It was suggesting working with the perp so the relationship can be maintained. I was like what the help if the man is abusive you don't tell the woman he can be fixed you tell her to get out. When challenged the response was inadequate.

Now it makes sense. If funding was offered on the basis of helping perps as well that is why it was in there.

I just found it a really dangerous message to give to women. I'm a survivor myself and believe me I don't nearly two decades trying to fix him and it nearly cost me my life.

I think there needs to be a clear distinction between helping women and another organisation helping perps.

I am all for education and this needs this needs to be done early and does need to be for both sexes. But it mustn't lose the fact that VAWG is sex based.

See this report (page 12) that defines VAWG as including men, and uses people instead of women and girls.
https://x.com/Jess4Lowestoft/status/2112862563864084490

https://www.vkpp.org.uk/assets/STRA-2026/NCVPP-VAWG-PP-STRA-2026.pdf

The stats for domestic abuse in under 18s are hard to find but in Derbyshire accounted for 10% of cases in an Equalities report. Qualitatively I am hearing about a lot of controlling relationships from girls at six form age via friends.

Our girls are at high risk and need educating. The boys do too but they need educating separately. I've not heard of Let Me Know at all.

Thanks for posting this.

It explains so well why, despite what funders and individual men think, holding onto the very basic concept of women only support and provision needs to be a corner stone.

Another issue or impact is that thanks to funding, many roles that were undertaken by women either underpaid or voluntary, are now being taken by women who are attracted by a funded salary. And once that is the case, any think that might threaten that funding scheme and their salary takes priority over feminist ethics.

Many years ago I was in conversation with a woman who have got the top job are a women's organisation and she said she was only taking the job because she needed to pay her mortgage and see her daughter through college - and because she hadn't got the job she really wanted.

I am not saying these real life financial reasons can be disregarded, but she is still there years later, and I am talking decades, she's got an "Honour" but this group meant to be representative of women's groups has never ever posted or publicly support women's sex based rights.

Because they are like dog with a bone.