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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Gang rape at Cornell Uni + If car theft was treated like rape...

102 replies

Toffeefudgecaramel · 30/09/2026 22:57

In the US they have university police who investigate crimes. In the case of this gang rape in a fraternity house, very serious allegations were only investigated internally, and punishments handed down included "writing essays".
It seems that the actual police only became involved much later.
In the UK, universities are under pressure to deal with incidents of sexual assault "in-house", but arguably they should only be handled by experts within the criminal justice system.

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Details emerge in case of former Cornell student alleging gang rape by fraternity members - CBS News

2.8M views · 70K reactions | The Cornell situation has been sitting heavy with me. I’ll let my satire speak for itself. 👊🏼 #satire #cornell #fyppage #socialcommentary #victimblaming | Michael Pavano

The Cornell situation has been sitting heavy with me. I’ll let my satire speak for itself. 👊🏼 #satire #cornell #fyppage #socialcommentary #victimblaming

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1356725869604678

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Jane3212 · 07/10/2026 00:27

Persephonia1966 · 06/10/2026 17:44

Also "the question of consent" being apparently muddied by the fact that in one case the victim did not consent to swx at all, and in another consented to sex with 1/2 men is an iffy one. It implies that the men that came after were off the hook because the victim had already consented to sex with someone. But, in the light of the issues with men apparently drugging their girlfriends/wives and offering them for sex to other men kind of dangerous. It implies that men can't be blamed for taking another man's words that a woman is consenting to sex (in the Cornell case the WhatsApp messages don't even mention consent. Just that there is free pussy. But even if you are generous and assume the men reading it would have assumed free pussy means consent they were being told this by other men. Not the woman). It also implies that if a woman consents to swx or drug taking with a man then he is allowed to then offer her to other men. The implications of that are incredibly grim and regardless of the Cornell case and it's outcomes really really should be pushed back against by anyone who cares about women's safety.

Even if you wouldn't consent to a threesome, I am sure you may have consented to sex with your boyfriend/a male. That doesn't mean he can tell other men they can come and have sex with you if you are drunk one day.

Yes, this too. I'm again suprised that people on here keep talking as if a woman having a threesome makes it really hard to know if she consented to the subsequent men.

It seems common sense to me that she could have consented to the threesome but not subsequent men. It's certainly more common for women to agree to those than to sex with 7 men.

A parallel could be drawn to consent to different acts. A woman could consent to intercourse but then refuse oral or anal with the same person. Consent to one thing doesn't equal to all, necessarily.

Jane3212 · 07/10/2026 00:29

BruachAbhann · 06/10/2026 21:16

I agree, discussion is extremely important on this matter.

I was horrified by the idea of this case and if I'm honest with myself, my initial reaction is always to think that the way it's reported must be the way it happened. I think it's a natural emotional reaction for a woman to have. The fear, the disgust, the outrage all come to the fore. However, in this case there seems to be a lot of different evidence coming to light. The men in question haven't been found guilty but their names and faces have been plastered all over the internet and it seems their guilt is assumed by many. What if when all the facts come to light, it turns out they are innocent? I'm wary of this mob mentality and I think it's important to be able to look at these cases objectively.

I hope the woman gets the justice she deserves but equally I hope the men do if they are not guilty.

I agree that we can't be sure what happened yet & the info out there is very conflicted. I do have issues with some stuff earlier on this thread but I don't have a firm opinion on what happened yet myself.

U53rName · 07/10/2026 06:27

Jane3212 · 07/10/2026 00:23

Yes, I'm still reading about the case and trying to understand fully so I don't want to comment more yet.

But I really don't like pps emphasising the NY law that if she had chosen to take the drink & ketamine herself, she cannot allege rape.

Surely FWR posters know that something being law doesn't mean it's right? The NY law seems clearly wrong to me.

From what I've read about ketamine, taking it would severely impair someone's ability to consent. She'd also had a huge amount to drink, too.

Contrary to my expectations, lots of pps instead keep emphasising that if she chose to take all that ketamine & alcohol, by NY law at least, she consented. Maybe they don't agree with that law, but it's a bit unclear.

It doesn’t mean that she DID consent; it means that legally she COULD consent; where most places an incapacitated woman CANNOT consent, full.stop.

U53rName · 07/10/2026 06:32

Jane3212 · 07/10/2026 00:27

Yes, this too. I'm again suprised that people on here keep talking as if a woman having a threesome makes it really hard to know if she consented to the subsequent men.

It seems common sense to me that she could have consented to the threesome but not subsequent men. It's certainly more common for women to agree to those than to sex with 7 men.

A parallel could be drawn to consent to different acts. A woman could consent to intercourse but then refuse oral or anal with the same person. Consent to one thing doesn't equal to all, necessarily.

That’s the oldest truck in the patriarchy playbook—if they’ll basically imply consent by blaming you for hat you wore, they’ll grab onto a threesome like a bone (Jane Doe says she said no to to the threesome anyway).

U53rName · 07/10/2026 06:49

I saw on Facebook that Matthew Ingalls (guy 1) moved to Dubai this week. I can only find it reported in the Daily Mail, where it says that one of Matthew’s neighbours has said that he moved there.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 07/10/2026 08:42

Jane3212 · 07/10/2026 00:27

Yes, this too. I'm again suprised that people on here keep talking as if a woman having a threesome makes it really hard to know if she consented to the subsequent men.

It seems common sense to me that she could have consented to the threesome but not subsequent men. It's certainly more common for women to agree to those than to sex with 7 men.

A parallel could be drawn to consent to different acts. A woman could consent to intercourse but then refuse oral or anal with the same person. Consent to one thing doesn't equal to all, necessarily.

I agree. That’s what reminded me of the Ched Evans case here.

EmmyFr · 07/10/2026 12:58

Can we all agree that it's entirely different if she (i) didn't say no but then claimed her non-refusal (I won't call it consent) was obviously due to her intoxication and thus invalid and (ii) DID say no to anything at anytime, in which case everything that was done to her after that point was clearly and unambiguously rape? I had read (I) but some pps here seem to have read (ii).

Persephonia1966 · 07/10/2026 13:14

EmmyFr · 07/10/2026 12:58

Can we all agree that it's entirely different if she (i) didn't say no but then claimed her non-refusal (I won't call it consent) was obviously due to her intoxication and thus invalid and (ii) DID say no to anything at anytime, in which case everything that was done to her after that point was clearly and unambiguously rape? I had read (I) but some pps here seem to have read (ii).

Even in the first instance it might not be "rape" (the law is an ass) but is still clearly wrong.

Imagine if I or another woman seduced a man, had sex, persuaded him to do drugs which he did willingly. And then while he was incapacitated/not fully aware of what was going on, invited some friends via text to come and rifle through his pockets etc. Not only would taking his money, jewelry, car keys etc without his explicit consent be seen as theft under most laws. I also think that I, in that case, would be party to the crime as well (even if I did not take anything). I have no idea whether it is technically illegal under NY law to tell other people that there is someone in this or that location with lots of money in their pockets when I know that person is incapacitated and vulnerable to robbery and then post 😂 style emojis when people joked about free money upstairs! Especially when I helped to get them to that incapacitated state. But I don't think it is a morally justifiable thing to do and I don't think the men defending the Cornell men would think so either. In that case it would also, surely, be immoral for a woman to do drugs with a man, have sex with him and then tell her male friends there was free ass upstairs. The fact he willingly did the drugs does not make that OK even if he didn't explicitly object to having his money stolen or having other people have sex with him.

That's the same scenario you outline but with the roles effectively reversed. What happened was wrong, even with the best possible interpretation of what happened that night, regardless of the law.

EmmyFr · 07/10/2026 13:18

I think case (i) is definitely wrong, but not necessarily rape.

DeanElderberry · 07/10/2026 13:19

It is not entirely different. If a person cannot consent because they are drunk, or because they are 12 years old, they cannot consent.

Another question is the culpability of an offender who is themselves drunk, or 12 years old.

A supplementary question is how society can help protect drunks, or 12 year olds, from their own destructive or self destructive impulses.

U53rName · 07/10/2026 15:28

EmmyFr · 07/10/2026 12:58

Can we all agree that it's entirely different if she (i) didn't say no but then claimed her non-refusal (I won't call it consent) was obviously due to her intoxication and thus invalid and (ii) DID say no to anything at anytime, in which case everything that was done to her after that point was clearly and unambiguously rape? I had read (I) but some pps here seem to have read (ii).

(i) is still not consent though. Lack of “no” is not consent. Even if intoxicated. I think people are getting muddled up on the intoxicated consent law. Intoxication consent law in NY means she STILL has to say “yes”.

An intoxicated “yes” in NY is consent.
An intoxicated “lack of no” in NY is not consent.
Outside of NY, an intoxicated “yes” is not consent.
Outside of NY, an intoxicated “lack of no” is not consent.

U53rName · 07/10/2026 15:29

EmmyFr · 07/10/2026 13:18

I think case (i) is definitely wrong, but not necessarily rape.

Lack of “yes” is rape.

DeanElderberry · 07/10/2026 15:49

This case has exposed/highlighted aspects of American law that I find fairly horrible, including the NY definition of consent and the lack of a universal sub judice rule.

So soon after Christa Pike's botched execution. Interesting country, much more foreign than we imagine.

As demonstrated also by the fraternity system which has never seemed a great way to deal with the transition from adolescence to early adulthood.

EmmyFr · 07/10/2026 16:13

I deliberately refused to call it consent because she was intoxicated and I don't consider it ethically possible to call anything consent in this situation but this is what the DA claimed "On the contrary, Jane Doe’s statement described her participation in drug use and sexual conduct as voluntary, conscious, and consensual". If true, unfortunately it sounds a lot like she did say yes.

Walkden · 07/10/2026 17:45

"I deliberately refused to call it consent because she was intoxicated and I don't consider it ethically possible to call anything consent in this situation but this is what the DA claimed "

Because she was intoxicated and on drugs? Or had impaired judgement?

This does not mean she was not capable of consent as she did not consent to some activities such as the proposed foursome or any activity at all with particular boys and these "No's" were respected. Only 4 of the 7 had sexual contact.

A pp pointed out parallels to the ched Evans case . The woman in that case was heavily intoxicated and he was found guilty of rape on the basis she was incapable of giving consent. Ultimately he had his conviction overturned because the defence established she had given him particularly instructions or preferences which proved consent in her inebriated state.

Persephonia1966 · 07/10/2026 18:43

Walkden · 07/10/2026 17:45

"I deliberately refused to call it consent because she was intoxicated and I don't consider it ethically possible to call anything consent in this situation but this is what the DA claimed "

Because she was intoxicated and on drugs? Or had impaired judgement?

This does not mean she was not capable of consent as she did not consent to some activities such as the proposed foursome or any activity at all with particular boys and these "No's" were respected. Only 4 of the 7 had sexual contact.

A pp pointed out parallels to the ched Evans case . The woman in that case was heavily intoxicated and he was found guilty of rape on the basis she was incapable of giving consent. Ultimately he had his conviction overturned because the defence established she had given him particularly instructions or preferences which proved consent in her inebriated state.

Edited

Chef Evans was not found not guilty because:
"The defence established she had given him particularly instructions or preferences which proved consent in her inebriated state"

He was found not guilty because evidence was (controversially) allowed that at other occasions with other men she had given them instructions/expressed preferences that were apparently similar enough to what happened with Evans that the defence were able to case enough reasonable doubt on whether she could have consented with him.

That seems like nitpicking but it's actually quite different to what you said. And you have shown a bit of a habit on this thread of changing reported aspects of both alleged rape cases in subtle but important ways so as to case doubt. In a way that goes beyond different opinions of the same facts to making up facts. It does feel a bit like you have an agenda...

Ereshkigalangcleg · 07/10/2026 19:01

in the Ched Evans case the other footballer (who was acquitted) also invited several other men to come to where he was with the victim. Evans had sex with her, other footballers watched through a window and filmed.

this is how the retrial and quashing of Evans’ conviction unfolded - I believe it was a travesty founded on rape myths

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/oct/14/campaigners-fear-evans-case-will-stop-women-reporting

Campaigners fear Evans case will stop women reporting rape

Close examination of complainant’s sexual history sets a dangerous legal precedent, say women’s support groups

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/oct/14/campaigners-fear-evans-case-will-stop-women-reporting

Walkden · 07/10/2026 19:05

"He was found not guilty because evidence was (controversially) allowed that at other occasions with other men she had given them instructions/expressed preferences that were apparently similar enough to what happened with Evans that the defence were able to case enough reasonable doubt on whether she could have consented with him."

So your argument is that she was able to give him specific instructions on HOW she wanted him to have sex with her but this doesn't indicate consent?

The fact that was there was corroboration from other men as to the nature and specificity of those instructions he testified he had been given in his retrial supported that they had come from her

Ereshkigalangcleg · 07/10/2026 21:31

The men conveniently only decided to say this after they were approached by Evans’ expensive legal team. They’d both given statements at the time of the original trial but for some reason didn’t mention this “corroborating” language. Not that it’s any sort of fucking proof she was consenting anyway, she was very drunk and multiple men took advantage of her.

BruachAbhann · 08/10/2026 09:29

Ereshkigalangcleg · 07/10/2026 21:31

The men conveniently only decided to say this after they were approached by Evans’ expensive legal team. They’d both given statements at the time of the original trial but for some reason didn’t mention this “corroborating” language. Not that it’s any sort of fucking proof she was consenting anyway, she was very drunk and multiple men took advantage of her.

It appears that she changed her statements a lot after her initial statements too.

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 08/10/2026 12:54

Or possibly that her initial statement was mistranscribed on top of all the rest of the confusion?

BruachAbhann · 08/10/2026 15:24

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 08/10/2026 12:54

Or possibly that her initial statement was mistranscribed on top of all the rest of the confusion?

Yes, possibly. But then equally possible that the men's statements were mistranscribed.

AlonsoMosley · 09/10/2026 03:22

Walkden · 07/10/2026 19:05

"He was found not guilty because evidence was (controversially) allowed that at other occasions with other men she had given them instructions/expressed preferences that were apparently similar enough to what happened with Evans that the defence were able to case enough reasonable doubt on whether she could have consented with him."

So your argument is that she was able to give him specific instructions on HOW she wanted him to have sex with her but this doesn't indicate consent?

The fact that was there was corroboration from other men as to the nature and specificity of those instructions he testified he had been given in his retrial supported that they had come from her

Weirdly, that is not what she said.

LordEmsworthsGirlfriend · 09/10/2026 14:27

Apologies if this has been posted somewhere and missed, but I found this article in the Washington Post today interesting and thought you lot might too.

archive.ph/UesMH#selection-827.94-831.27

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 09/10/2026 14:42

Power to that headmaster's elbow, say I. Maybe one or two of the boys he was talking to will be the one or two who are brave enough to say "No!" about something that is gravely wrong.

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