Such an interesting article about the psychological burden of performing “gender”

[Cantunseeit]

Not sure if this is really a FWR topic but the total lack of compassion from some of our TRA/MRA visitors for those suffering from gender confusion has shocked me recently. Probably shouldn’t be a surprise but it nevertheless has been.

While they are busy pointing fingers at “the audience”, they are not considering the distress their rhetoric props up.

I think this is a compassionate and important article.

https://genspect.substack.com/p/no-intermission-gender-performance?r=1one23&utm_medium=ios

Where? Privately or at work?
How? Does the 'disagreement' rise to the level of harassment?

Maybe if you applied the same standard to trans people as you would to other beliefs you might disagree with like religion or politics that might be a clue on how best to act.

The point that's missed here is respecting another's right to opinion is not the same as agreeing with it.

You have still missed ( or evaded) the point, which is the spurious use of "I have to be able to express my authentic self" as a supposedly unanswerable argument.

Other people pointed out that prioritising that notion is not a sound social principle, and gave examples. You objected to their examples as being invalid because they were extreme.

So I gave an example, the crashing bore, as a non-extreme example of a social nuisance created by somebody being their "authentic self" without consideration for others.

Transactivists have demanded not only that we let them be their "authentic selves" anywhere and anyhow they see fit, without regard to women's needs, but also that we must speak as though we believe what they believe ( by using required pronouns and not mentioning their sex) and that we should consider ourselves at fault (far right bigots, genital fetishists blah blah blah) if we don't see them as they see themselves. "But it's my authentic self" doesn't give them a free pass for that level of demand.

Listen, all of us have friends, acquaintances, relatives & work colleagues that are crashing bores or have some other undesirable personality trait we would prefer to avoid but I very much doubt most of us don't 'tolerate' them to some degree. We tend to pretty much entertain their crap as much as necessary without nary a whisper to them. What we don't tend to do is confront them as being social undesirables…for a reason & its called social cohesion.

I have a friend who recently went scorched earth on another friend for gently pointing out she has a habit of repeating herself & asked me if this was true to which I lied & 'of course not'. We do this 'your fat arse looks great in that dress' all the time because people prefer to maintain a civilised relationship particularly when its a trait that is unlikely to change (my friend is slightly OCD). So its about trade offs.

Part of being a grown up is learning to tolerate 'challenging' people or ideas (like I'm doing right now). I have friends that are GC & racist but I would never call them ignorant or delusional to their faces. I'm personally civilised & avoid the topics because I respect their right to their positions regardless of how toxic they are. If I want to debate the topic I'll do it with strangers.

I don't consider respecting another's identity as an unreasonable demand or a 'anti truth statement'. Pronouns are just a form of polite acknowledgement to another's preferences about their identity. They aren't a belief statement just like any other forms of politeness.

Talking of crashing bores 🙄

This is hilarious. @Heggettypeg I think I love you.

A man will never know how ‘it feels’ to be a woman just like a woman will never know how ‘it feels’ to be a man. It’s just their interpretation. They rest of us don’t have to play along with it.

@Northernlightsss “We do this 'your fat arse looks great in that dress' all the time”

To tell them could be ‘kinder’. Stop them being ridiculed.

I’m pretty sure we’d mention it if they demanded to only shop in the petite section or wanted all dresses resized.

Anyway that’s a poster who doesn’t pull up their racist friends and uses terms like “slightly OCD” so…

Apparently @Northernlightsss is “personally civilised”!

There is probably something there that illustrates a wider tendency among some of those on ‘the right side of history’. A belief that they are a ‘good person’ therefore they are on the right side, combined with an unwillingness to do or say anything that might be unpopular.

Lol, aren't you of the peoples incessantly crying in your prosecco’s that women can't speak?

Not as 'brave' as you like to think…

‘You of the people’. You really have a way with words!

Why do you hate us? You were born from a woman, you get your name from a woman…

It's of the GC peoples. Stop acting as if you speak for all women.

You really hate women don't you!

In which case why the hormones and surgeries? And dragging ourselves back to the article, it seems horrific that people are choosing to try to end their lives in pursuit of preferring the gender stereotyping of the other sex than their own (amongst other issues of course as it’s always multiple factors). Furthermore that this pursuit of stereotypes is prioritised over the other factors when they are admitted for help.

This seems to be doing these people dirty

I am a woman! One of those biological ones!

In which case why the hormones and surgeries?

The exact reason why natal women & men engage in medical enhancements. As an expression of their feminine or masculine inclinations that are evolutionarily hard wired.You act as if trans people are a different species & they are engaging in 'unusual' behaviours when in fact body enhancing is ubiquitous in the general population.

it seems horrific that people are choosing to try to end their lives in pursuit of preferring the gender stereotyping of the other sex than their own (amongst other issues of course as it’s always multiple factors).

The same way it is for people who* are choosing to try to end their lives in pursuit of perfectionism *(amongst other issues of course as it’s always multiple factors). You act as if transitioning is somehow different from any other desire.

Furthermore that this pursuit of stereotypes is prioritised over the other factors when they are admitted for help.

And in a nutshell this comment encapsulates exactly why you can't comprehend the issue because baked into your beliefs is that typical gendered behaviours are only socially constructed & can't emanate also from biologically influenced evolutionary pressures.There's a reason why conversion therapy fails.

So how is performing gendered behavioural traits of the opposite sex to the one you are solving ancestral survival and reproductive challenges in a 21st century western society?

Seriously? It's called a mating strategy. Trans people aren't a different species.

Cosmetic surgery is a mating strategy?

Ah!! So a middle aged man dressing up in a mini skirt, fishnets, high heels with a bad wig and pantomime make up, then filming himself wanking in a women’s toilets is just looking for a mate. How have we all missed the bleeding obvious for so long?

What is @Northernlightsss on about?

Big boobies aren't exactly known as a turn off.

I can't believe I have to explain this….

Ho hum. Appeal to the extreme…

😂

@Northernlightsss ”Big boobies”!