The menopausal women everyone forgot

[IwantToRetire]

It is amazing that women are so open about these conversations. No longer are the words “HRT” and “menopause” mouthed quietly over the garden hedge as two women try and console each other over “The Change” while pegging out washing.

So much shame was once attached to the menopause. It’s actually ridiculous that only now can we talk openly and frankly about a medical process that happens to all of us who were born biologically female.

But what about the childless? What about us women who, for some like me through choice, and for some through circumstances, never had children? Does our menopause count?

If, like me, you present as a tomboy, butch lesbian or masc woman, does our womb matter?

https://inews.co.uk/opinion/childfree-women-get-the-menopause-too-4686770 and at https://archive.is/nJnDA

I don't understand, (no I haven't read it yet). All women go through menopause regardless of whether they've had children or not. Surely this is just common sense?

If anyone has ever tried to ring fence the menopause for mums, it's the first I've heard of it.

Why would menopause be any different with parity? Why would anyone take this into account? I can’t access the article but feel like this might be someone who’s trying to Feel Special and Hard Done By.

Eh? I am not aware people think only mothers go through this, or ‘count’. Bizarre thing to say..

Oh so glad that i am not the only person who is confused by this..
perhaps its just a menopausal grump lol

Utter nonsense.

Tbf she goes qualify it by saying If, like me, you present as a tomboy, butch lesbian or masc woman, does our womb matter?

as a childless woman I simply dont know why she's trying to shoehorn motherhood into an experience that all women go though, mothers or not

and tbh my womb only matters to me, I don't expect anyone else to care!

I think the point she is making badly is that women who do not have kids are completely ignored and the attitude very much is, we don't need to investigate your symptoms, as you don't have a family to be dealing with, you can cook tofu/sleep when you want/buy a fan/go to the gym to counteract all the symptoms whereas mums cannot. Ie you aren't really worthy of HRT.

I had osteoporosis at 49 due to not being taken seriously just like this.

As a child free woman. What a lot of bollocks!

I find this really strange. She"s a comedian so may be trying to construct a routine (unsuccessfully) I really don't know why it was published.

Ditto.

I think that's down to your individual doctor, mine was quick to spot perimenopsuse and would have treated my symptoms the same as any other woman if they had been strong enough to warrant it. There are doctors out there refusing HRT to mothers.

Did you not try the archive link helpfully supplied in the OP?

If, like me, you present as a tomboy, butch lesbian or masc woman, does our womb matter?

I suspect if there is any bias in treatment it could happen that some unreconstructed doctors still living in the dark age might categorise like that.

I wondered, whether because she is a "media" person, what she if reacting to are the newspaper stories which when reflecting issues for women going through the menopause are more likely to profile the "average" woman, ie married with kids.

Always worth remember that newspaper land is a world of its own, with its very own group of "feminists" who write about a feminism that no woman in the real world has ever heard of!

That woman used to be funny.

She is not anymore because she is menopausal, i certainly lost my sense of humour on bad days.

There may be an extra element of menopause- the end of fertility- that impacts differently depending whether you have DC.

It’s that moment where, had you been half hoping for another DC, you realise it isn’t going to happen. No more worrying about being pregnant or not being pregnant.

But that lands differently on people whether they have already had DC or not.

Tbf she goes qualify it by saying If, like me, you present as a tomboy, butch lesbian or masc woman, does our womb matter?

Neither the length of my hair nor the sensibleness of my shoes have any effect whatsoever on my womb.

Sorry but that’s utter bollocks

If you are a mum you get “well you’ve had 2 kids what do you expect” or “think of your kids”

It’s just generally a bit shit for women, we don’t need to fall out among ourselves about this!

Oh, that’s right – of course you will get the menopause too.” I hear this at the hairdresser’s, in the bar with friends of friends, you name it. It usually comes after a conversation about the menopause – centred around women who have had children or who have male partners, unlike me. Yes, Melanie, childless lesbians can get the menopause.

What fresh circle of hell has this crap come from?

She needs less weird hairdressers and acquaintances as the ones she's currently talking to are la la.

Fuck...I've no children and am menopausal. Can i be 'special ' now?

Me too - perhaps we need a flag?? 😆

Bumping past the visitor’s 2010 zombie threads…

Yes. She needs brighter friends. It might help expand her own mind.

This is ridiculous. I've had several trips to the GP to discuss menopause and HRT and not once have children been mentioned. The friend I most frequently talk about menopause with is child free.