Modern parenting, extended family, and why "village" life looks a bit different now

[FoxInGarden]

Hey everyone,
I’ve been doing some reading lately on how family and parenting structures have evolved, and it got me thinking about the whole concept of "it takes a village."
We hear all the time about how hard raising kids is right now—childcare costs are through the roof, local support networks are stretched thin, and parents are exhausted trying to do it all in isolated nuclear family units. But looking at how families actually function, it’s so clear that we rely heavily on people who step outside the traditional "mum, dad, 2.4 kids" mould to help hold communities together.
Anthropologists and evolutionary folks talk about how, in nature and across different cultures throughout history, having a "reserve army" of extended family, aunts, uncles, and community members who don't have biological children of their own has always been vital. They act as alloparents—extra hands for mentoring, emotional support, fostering, adopting, and just buffering the community.
Even looking at modern data here in the UK, it’s amazing how much heavy lifting LGBTQ+ and diverse families do in the foster and adoption systems, stepping up for kids who desperately need stability.
It just makes me roll my eyes when older public intellectuals try to throw a fit in the weekend papers, acting like gender variance or non-traditional lives are some brand-new "modern psychosis" or fad. Human societies have always had a diverse mix of roles, and frankly, modern parenting is hard enough without posh old biologists gatekeeping who is allowed to care for, protect, and support children.
Has anyone else noticed how much we rely on our wider, non-traditional "village" these days? How do you guys find your local support networks?

I might have taken this question at face value if it wasn't for the following which from a first time poster indicates that this is an attempted TRA "Gotcha!".

Even looking at modern data here in the UK, it’s amazing how much heavy lifting LGBTQ+ and diverse families do in the foster and adoption systems, stepping up for kids who desperately need stability.

It just makes me roll my eyes when older public intellectuals try to throw a fit in the weekend papers, acting like gender variance or non-traditional lives are some brand-new "modern psychosis" or fad.

so let's see your face value evaluation? or can't you address two points at once?

‘Evolutionary folks’ for me.

Plus the immediate switch to needling: "or can't you address two points at once?"
Bad faith, OP.

(Also 😂at the idea that posters here are somehow incapable of reasoned debate.)

How do you guys find your local support networks?

Great for child and dog sitting. Good for sharing excess courgettes.

Not willing to prioritise my children's needs over their own to keep them alive.

Does that answer your question?

Human societies have always had a diverse mix of roles, and frankly, modern parenting is hard enough without posh old biologists gatekeeping who is allowed to care for, protect, and support children.

This is the kind of thing you say when you want to skate over the fact that reproductive rights are sex specific.

modern parenting is hard enough without posh old biologists gatekeeping who is allowed to care for, protect, and support children.

ahhhh

haven’t read the Richard Dawkins interview yet but I’m guessing that’s what has prompted this particular extrusion

I dunno about the rest, but I’ll tell you who should be prevented from having anything to do with children: people who advocate for children’s healthy bodies to be mutilated or dosed with harmful drugs and cross sex hormones

It just makes me roll my eyes when older public intellectuals try to throw a fit in the weekend papers, acting like gender variance or non-traditional lives are some brand-new "modern psychosis" or fad.

You can be as "gender variant" as you like but sex is binary and immutable.

Interesting user name. Reminds me of Boxing Day

switch, I'm simply trying to know what the guys' opinion is...

‘The guys’

right oh

Gay couples foster and adopt because they cannot have children naturally within their relationships. I don't think they're doing it out of good-hearted community spiritedness. If they could have children naturally, I imagine they would stop fostering and adopting.

I became involved in the pushback against gender ideology when I saw a 6 foot 4 man swimming against college women. No one said anything or thought this man was unfairly stealing women's (hard-won and hard-fought) sports prizes. Women and girls deserve their own stuff, free from men who want it, however they identify. Men have enough. Women are the oppressed group.

"posh old biologists"

Bit ageist innit? Where I'm from, grandparents- well, grandmothers- are heavily relied upon for childcare and fly across countries to do it quite often.

Or the ones that can afford it, have children by surrogacy.

Some of them are probably biologists

They might even be posh too

how does that change the point on my P?

I can’t see what’s changed. We all rely on family and friends for additional support. Some of them may be LGBTQ+.

Difficult as this might be to understand for you but this wasn't a response to you.

it's more an attempt to address an appeal to authority when the subject is going beyond their field wrapped in an adhom

I mean, yeah the village is inportant.

but the village in modern times is also grandparents, family, schools, scouts and guides, community organisations, kids ballet schools, cadets and similar for teens etc.

my dd is gay and many gay women couple do have biological children who are genetically related to one of the couple.

sure, lgbtq people have a part to play in the village but so does everyone!

What has being a biologist got to do with this ? Why is being a biologist so bad ?
Posh - rich and often remote from the way most people live I get.
Old is just hate speech. which of course makes
it hard for me not to treat you with contempt.
But biologist?

and slightly confused - it’s not just the alphabet soup group who adopt kids, foster kids and look after kids of friends and family to support parents

Do you think trans men should be locked in a male prison, if they are convicted of a crime?

Do you think trans women should be locked in a female prison, if they are convicted of a crime?

Can you see any issues with those two scenarios? What would those issues be?

Now repeat the exercise for this list of sex-specific spaces:

Secure mental health wards
Domestic violence refuges
Homeless shelters
General hospital wards
Women's sports
Women's leadership and professional development opportunities
Changing rooms
Toilets

No one hates trans people here. We just want to protect women, their achievements and their support networks which are unsuitable for mixed sex use in most cases.

agreed but grandparents is assumed but also less common these days as retirees remain healthy and discover a second wind and are less willing over generations to help with rearing. also gentrification and house prices is ruining large families

Possibly the best known extant evolutionary biologist on the planet too :)