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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Mixed sex bathrooms in hostel

6 replies

Tearannosaurus · Today 08:43

My eldest DD and her boyfriend recently stayed in a hostel in a popular tourist city in the UK, it had excellent reviews. Both are 21. They booked a mixed dormitory which I wasn't happy about but at least it meant they could be together and knew what they were signing up to. What they were not prepared for however was although there were some male and female toilets, the bathroom near their room was mixed sex. From what I hear it basically meant toilet cubicles on 1 side, shower cubicles on the other all leading into a shared sink and mirror area for hair/makeup, shaving, toothbrushing etc. and both sexes walking with just a towel round them. Both felt uncomfortable with this although they thought everyone was respectful. They didn't know if there were single sex bathrooms elsewhere.

I don't approve of mixed dorms but at least that was clear and they chose that. The bathroom thing took them by surprise but they just coped. Its the lack of transparency I find bad.

We know hostels are not meant to be luxurious, but are they not bound by rules on single sex spaces like anyone else too? And to make clear they are not single sex when one reasonably expects they are. Or is this the norm in hostels these days?

I'm a regular poster but have namechanged here.

OP posts:
SunnySunnyDayz · Today 08:57

I find that anywhere frequented by younger people avoids single sex spaces. Which could be deemed indirect discrimination against women of anyone fancied taking it to court.

Unisex spaces are acceptable, although what you describe may not meet the regs, you should be able to do everything you need within the locked room so loos should have had a basin, showers should have an area you can dry and change.

My nephew frequently stays at the pod hotels in London, they have sexed floors and so facilities but state twaw so even with sss there's no guarantee.

InconvenientlyMaterial · Today 11:41

Yeah it's dodgy as fuck because the young people frequenting these places are often the least empowered to be able to speak out (due to school indoctrination; unstable employment; social pressure..... Heck I was in my 30s and already a mother before I put 2 and 2 together about male pattern violence. Despite already being a victim. We're not honest with young girls and they're socialised to internalise the blame for negative experiences).

Edit to add I might actually feel safer in mixed sex than single sex but twaw. Depending on the location perhaps. In a busy central London hostel I'd expect the odds would be that any overtly dodgy men would get in trouble with the decent men. Obviously the risk of covert filming etc will rocket though.

Sometimesitsmyownfault · Today 11:51

When you are using very budget accommodation you have no right to expect the same level of facilities that higher end hostels provide. Especially if it is clearly mentioned at the time of booking. If the rooms are mixed sex, I would expect the other facilities to be mixed sex too.
The bunk rooms in mountain lodges are mixed sex as are the showers and toilets. If you understand what you’ve signed up for, then there is no reasonable grounds for complaint.

If I paid for and expected single sex accommodation and found a man in women-face using the female facilities, then I would be angry and demand a refund.
Champagne taste on lemonade money applies here.

CrystalSingerFan · Today 13:20

Good point from @Sometimesitsmyownfault:

"The bunk rooms in mountain lodges are mixed sex as are the showers and toilets"

For the greater good, I can also add that at least one small hostel (albergue) on one of the shorter, less popular versions of the Camino de Santiago has a mixed sex bunk room (16 beds total) and accompanying shower/toilet block. I knew it would be, and had no choice at that stage of the route, but as a single older Englishwoman I was mildly nervous. FWIW it was fine. And only seven euros a night....

If anyone has stayed in the (presumably) much larger hostels in Santiago de Compostela itself, I'm curious to know if the rooms/facilities are single sex...

AnnaMagnani · Today 13:45

I stayed in a mixed sex hostel in my early 20s. Hadn't given it any thought except liking that it was cheap.

Felt so unsafe overnight that I never did it again. Bathroom not an issue, it was all night in the dorm that was awful.

Suspect it's one of those things you learn by experience.

TeiTetua · Today 14:53

"They thought everyone was respectful" and that was probably true, that day and maybe most days. But if someone wasn't respectful, how bad could it be? I think the answer is, fairly bad.

One knows that the ethos of hostels is that you're meant to share with other people and everyone treats each other well, and that sharing is part of the experience. But like so many things that involve innocence, it's open to abuse. So then more stringent safeguarding gets added, and the innocence disappears. We were never good enough for Eden, anyway.

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