Help me find so and so threads. Am aware it might be me.

[Taztoy]

Im starting this deliberately so as not to derail another thread here. It’s not a taat as such, although it is inspired by a thread here.

I had a stalker. He used info from social media to track me. I was careful, I thought, and never actually named places but he used photos and (I assume) google lens to build up a dossier and a pattern of where I’d be.

there are threads on social media all the time - help me find x person. Im à long lost friend. Whatever happened to so and so.

They make me really uneasy, especially here where people are completely anonymous and im not sure they should be allowed under talk guidelines.

can I ask what you think? Am I being paranoid? Please don’t be brutal, my mental health couldn’t take it right now.

Plenty of those threads are probably in good faith but there’s never a way to tell for sure, I often post comments on them mentioning that.

It’s like the threads on here ‘Tell me about where you live’, ‘Describe your job’, ‘What’s your middle name?’ & people answer & the OP often never posts again, but it’s all more bits of info that can risk making people identifiable if put together.

I am always suspicious and reply suggesting that anyone tempted to respond just forwards the request to the person concerned rather than replying to the poster.

I think you are right to be wary. We can't know for sure who is asking or why.
Official bodies have rules about not giving out personal data, for very good reasons. Those reasons don't stop being true just because the source applied to is not an official body but a bunch of individuals on social media.

Really it is a form of stalking even if the person asking feels righteous and possibly wronged, everyone is entitled to privacy even if they are acting like a dickhead. If they are acting criminally then the video/ photos can be forwarded to the police to help their investigations (i get that the police may in reality do little).

Oh @Taztoy that's awful, and must have been a really scary time for you! I'm really sorry that happened

No you're not being paranoid at all, those type of posts always make me really uneasy when I see them too.

My first thought is always "what if this is an abusive ex-boyfriend looking for the woman who escaped his abuse and moved?"

Thanks everyone.

I adopted two children some time ago. It used to drive me mad when I saw Facebook posts of people trying to locate old friends or family because some of these people have lost touch for good reasons, like going into witness protection, domestic violence, adoption. And yet naively, people would share these posts without any idea that they could have a catastrophic impact.

My daughter was stalked - by her ex, so at least we knew who it was. It is terrifying. So sorry OP.

Yes I agree caution is needed.

Not quite the same thing, but I saw a couple of posts recently in a local group asking if anyone could identify a car/driver they said had crashed into them or someone else and driven off - one giving the full car registration and photo of the vehicle. It did occur to me that other users had no way of knowing whether the post was genuine or the accident had ever really happened, and it could potentially be a good way to incite a mob against someone (an ex or whatever!).

A friend nearly had her new address revealed to a stalker ex because of one of those “my parcel has gone to this address, do you know who lives there” type posts. People kept on tagging her, just wanting to help the person out, but if her ex had seen the post he would never have left her alone.

I had a similar scattergun missing child alert forwarded to me in a mass email, not an official appeal. There was enough in it to pique my concern. The child wasn’t known to the person forwarding it so I replied to all about exercising caution in responding. I separately forwarded it to CEOP’s reporting email address flagging my concern. I had a reassuring reply a couple of weeks later thanking me for flagging it, that they’d looked into it & no immediate cause for concern.