New school asking for "gender identity" etc. is this still allowed?

[ReallyIsThisStillGoingOn]

I know I could trawl through the DforE guidance but I'm short on time and wondered if anyone can advise? Just filled in the application form for child's new school (from Sept 2026) and wondered if they can still legitimately ask these questions (see screenshot) or whether this counts as affirming, which I believe is no longer allowed?

Apart from "gender assigned at birth" being irritating, nonsensical bullshit, I'm also thinking of my child's younger, less "gender stereotype conforming" sibling who may go to this school in a couple of years. If the school is not actually supposed to be using these terms now, I will write to them and push back on it. Thanks.

(Image currently under review of course but just lists boxes for "gender assigned at birth", "gender identity" and "preferred pronouns". No box for biological sex of course.... 🙄)

Generally, when asked this, I put No gender. SEX is female.

I would put a big red line through the silly bits with a couple of big ??

Unfortunately it's an online form with no options to cross things out or type your own answer.

"Gender assigned at birth" options are male or female.
"Gender identity" options are male/female/non-binary/prefer to self-describe (I tried ticking the 4th option but no further text box appeared)
"Preferred pronouns" options are he/him, she/her or they/them.

I would seriously consider looking for another school because if they're asking this now you could have another 7 years of quietly questioning lots of what they do and the potential damage they can do, especially to your younger DC isn't worth whatever the plus points for this school are.
I've dealt with a stonewall champion school and a gender non conforming child for 5 years now and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I'm sorry to hear of your experience. It's unbelievable that those supposedly at the forefront of safeguarding children would be sucked in by this.

In other ways, it seems a very good school and I want to find out if this is just a hangover from forms in previous years that they haven't bothered changing or whether they are still deep into this harmful ideology. I will check if they are a Stonewall "Champion".

Not a Stonewall Champion fortunately and doesn't look as the they ever have been.

Our school is no longer a stonewall champion but the ideology is still there and some of their safeguarding is/was questionable at best.
At one point they were quite happy for a 14yo female to be in a boy's dorm on a cadet camp! You really have to be on the ball and be willing to be 'that' parent.
Exam results are fantastic, location was great and one child thrived, the other not so much.
I wish more than anything I'd done more research but it wasn't something I thought would ensnare us all those years ago.

I've had a quick look on the Transgender Trend website and it looks as though the Dept for Education is still consulting on its Keeping Children Safe in Education draft guidance and that the first draft is a bit wishy-washy. It looks as though schools are obliged to carefully consider the impact of agreeing to socially transition a child at school but not that they are banned from doing so.

I think just put it at the back of your mind. You’re never going to be happy with every single thing any school does but if it’s generally good, that is the main thing. “Sex at birth” would have been better but honestly I wouldn’t be that parent and complain before your child has even started at the school as this form is not going to impact your child. If you’re not happy with how they are treated once they are there, that is the time to contact the school.

Completely disagree.

Now is absolutely the time to raise it. Why not?

Either they will be reasonable, in which case nothing is lost.

Or they will tell you that they are 'gender inclusive' or other gender woo and you'll know to run for the hills.

This is not a small thing. Many schools who have been pushing gender identity onto children have terrible safeguarding. Read Page 23 | Mixed sex changing rooms in a Brighton secondary school - part 3 - we're really cooking now | Mumsnet for a real life example of a school forcing girls to get undressed in front of male pupils.

I think you need to call up to clarify why the form has this - I'd be asking if they compel wrong-sex pronouns for a start (which is a safeguarding failure as well as compelled speech)- and also ask around among parents whose children are already there. If it's full of gender ideology, look for a school that doesn't have gender ideology driving its safeguarding failures. If your child hasn't started yet you have a chance to make a change now. Once they start, and start making friends, it's much harder to move. Plus by changing now wherever they go they'll be with a load of other year 7s who've also just changed school. That makes a big difference.

I was “that parent” when my DD started sixth form in the same school she’d attended for high school.

I believe schools must collect data on sex and can also collect “gender identity”
https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/642bf367fbe620000f17dbc7/CBDS_RFC_1233_-_Sex_and_Gender_Identity.pdf

I sent the link above to the head of sixth form who I already had had a run in with on gender and said that I thought his form was wrong and I had filled in the sex of my daughter in the “gender” section as I assumed it couldn’t mean gender as only two options were given. He did reply with some BS about this form falling down the cracks when he’d updated other forms and that I was right that it should have asked for sex not gender

Also, I don't think you need to defend your stance, OP. You can ask them their position on teaching about gender ID in a neutral way.

Also, check out their safeguarding policy online.

Schools are insanely underfunded and understaffed. That will be why. Mostly, they’re trying their best in incredibly challenging circumstances. This might be the most important thing on your list of priorities but they are more on behaviour control, quality of teaching, safeguarding (bullying etc), pastoral care, budget control, reporting to Ofsted etc.

Schools managed to find the time and money to change all the forms to include this bollocks in the first place. They can bloody well find the time and resources to correct them. I would say that you can’t complete the form as it doesn’t give an option to refuse to answer things that are beliefs (presumably if they ask for religion there is an option for none) and see what they come back with.

I think you will surprised how many other parents also disagree. I have realised after my son leaving the school that I wasn’t the only parent objecting to the gender crap when I was a parent there although they like to make you feel like you are.

After many years of teaching, I know that none of this excuses using regressive, inaccurate language in relation to children. None of it excuses adults failing to use their critical thinking. None of it excuses a school buying into any old nonsense that political lobby groups put out.

Maintaining accurate data, using clear language, knowing that sex isn't ever "assigned" are critical. Accurate data that reflects a child's sex is also critical - as the new KCSIE guidelines state (once they're finally issued).

Well yes, but my run in with head of sixth form was safeguarding related (in relation to gender). It was escalated to DSL and the Head who I dealt with thereafter.

I knew I was being an arse (about the data collection) but this was a man who had no idea about safeguarding in relation to gender ideology and was also ignoring DfE guidelines on data collection. I’m sure it was an oversight and not deliberate but it needed fixing.

As our school only asks "Gender" and people lie about it, I would much prefer this approach. Instead of fighting to remove the questions, can you suggest a "NA" option be added to the drop down options? Or that they ask "Does you child have a gender identity?" instead, with the other things dropping down only if you answer yes - give proactive solutions instead of complaining.

You can just say that the current questions are confusing and might over represent how many kids have gender identities (if you want to "play nice" you can say that this over count could mean that any resources are spread too thin and away from kids who might need them).

Your school allows parents to lie about the sex of their children?

The problem is that any information going to the schools falls under "guidance" and as such they can just not do it, even if its considered best practice.

A lot of schools are still very much sold on gender identity and follow trans charities often encouraged by local councils.

Remember as well that schools have spent a lot of money on getting inclusive certified by these groups as well.

My youngest is gender non-conforming. I've had 5 years of nonsense from the school staff who can't seem to take in the fact that he is not trans (including imposing they/them pronouns that he did not ask for). This is not a funding issue.

I would contact them and ask for a form which shows they understand the difference between sex and gender.

Offer to come in and run a workshop for them if they need help.

With no disrespect to you.

Part of the problem is the drive to change the lanaguage, your child is not "gender non-conforming", he is a boy that likes what he likes. Whether he is effeminate, likes pink, cooking, enjoys dressing up or playing with dolls.

I say this as schools used to be really quite good at trying to remove gender stereotypes all that work trying to get girls in to STEM, boys in to cooking etc. and now thanks to gender ideology we have all been dragged back into stereotypes. .

I don’t think there is any problem with the term gender non conforming. It has been around for a long time to refer to those who do not conform to societal norms about masculinity and femininity. The term is helpful in that it focuses on conformity and non conformity to expectations. It doesn’t take much to challenge gender based expectations.

The problem is when people conflate non conformity with ideas around gender identity and assume that because a girl enjoys masculine coded clothes/ pastimes etc. she has a male identity and, sometimes even worse, she is male.