Questions when trying to get help for mental health

[blubberball]

I went on to NHS because I'm struggling with my mental health, and they put you through to like an AI multiple choice form. The only option I could select was female (including trans woman). I couldn't just put female. Then it wants me to select pronouns from a list. I had to Google some of these words, because I had never heard of them in my life. Some of them come from you might be an alien, and some of them mean you might be a fairy. Sorry, but what is actually going on? I've never met any one insisting that they're an alien or a fairy, but I think all logic might have gone out the window. Is it just me being a massive bigot?

Can you use right to choose to ask to be referred to a different provider?

I'm really not sure. I find it all very overwhelming and confusing

And only a very very small subset of people - so throwing everyone under the bus for a tiny minority. This sort of set up, if they're going to use it instead of actual people, needs to be as neutral as possible and not a political bandwagon.

What about poor old Zie/Zir, whose pronouns aren’t there? How is zie going to get zir mental health support when zir whole existence has just been invalidated by an AI form? Should zie just ignore it because it’s not relevant to zim?

I felt similar when I tried to contact Mind.

I could not even discuss my situation before I had told the woman at the other end of the phone my marital status, my race, my gender identity and my sexuality. None of which had any bearing on why I was seeking help and made me feel they were prioritising collecting EDI data over actually helping me.

So sorry to hear about the stupid NHS web site.

And would like to suggest if you feel able to put in a complaint.

As you say you shouldn't have to grapple with something that only adds to the problems you are having. Let alone the fact that the census proved that many people in the UK have no idea what all this nonsense is about.

Do hope you get your appointment.

Have to say I didn't know you could use the web site for that. I thought you could only get referrals via your GP - who never have an appointment free so you can ask them.

I'm really sorry to hear that. It's hard when you are feeling bad and then there is a lot of paperwork before you can get help.

Right to choose is explained here: https://www.mentalhealthandwellbeing.co.uk/nhs_patients/nhs_adhd_access/nhs_adhd_rtc.php

We hear about it a lot for ADHD at the moment, but it applies to all mental and physical health referrals - if you want to go to a different provider and they have an nhs contract you can.

You can try putting your postcode into this and looking at local options: https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health-services/find-nhs-talking-therapies-for-anxiety-and-depression/enter-gp

Or you can google for " right to choose depression" and find lots of online national options.

Or you can go back to your GP and ask to be referred to a physical place that will do an in person intake, no online forms. I can't promise you won't still be asked about pronouns, but at least there will be someone to ask about it if it happens.

I'm sorry about the ridiculous pronoun bollocks, OP.

Have you had bloods checked for ferritin, vitamin deficiencies, etc?

My rec is for 'Feeling Good' by Dr Burns. Great, methodical info on thought distortions and patterns that lead to depression.

Insight Timer has lots of good audio sessions. I recommend Jack Kornfield or Tara Brach; these are from a broadly secular Buddhist approach.

Phone the Samaritans so you can talk to a human.
116 123 (free)

Hi OP I hope you’re ok today?

More great posts below. Right to choose sounds ideal.

Im reading this book as she covers HSP/ dandelion/ orchid theories of personality types which I’m currently interested in (partly for work, partly for me) but just found a podcast by her. I’m finding the book very insightful. She seems to also have some content on bbc radio but I’ve not heard any of it.

I like that she tackles the issues around diagnosis in that it’s not a clear cut thing and can be quite subjective. Focusing more on strategies.

https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/rethinking-anxiety-from-fear-to-strength-dr-sian-williams/id1755420336?i=1000761401334

Thank you, I'm doing much better today as I have found real life support 💐

Good to hear! Take care.

I've tried going down the right to choose line with mental health but in general other areas won't take you, as they cannot provide crisis care to you out of area and they don't want the responsibility of caring for you if they can't get a CPN to your address in an emergency.

I highly recommend 'Overcoming Low Self Esteem' by M Fennel. I prefer it in book form as it has lots of exercises to come back to, but there is an audio book version if you prefer that. Xx

Thank you. There's some great advice and book recommendations on this thread. Hopefully it will help others who might need it as well 💐

It looks like you get the AI thing if you follow the right to choose pathway from the nhs

So the OP is correct in raising this as anyone seeking help via this now recommended route seems to need to choose from these ridiculous pronouns

I had a mental health nurse phone me. She started with what I identified as. I knew this would be followed by an argument about my ethnic origin (human, if you need to know). I just put down the phone. You really don't need to know these things to help me with my mental distress.

A local mental health service (alerted by my GP) wrote an introductory letter to me referring to my "daughter" after my son announced his trans identity. This did not help! I did not respond – I was upset and angry, and had no faith in them. I can't imagine the feelings of hurt, confusion and betrayal of a transwidow.