"We had no support anywhere, so I created Trans Widows' Voices" - The story of Tinsel #BTLG

[POWNewcastleEastWallsend]

Our @Tinsel is obviously too modest to post this herself ❤️

"We had no support anywhere, so I created Trans Widows' Voices" - The story of Tinsel #BTLG

Premiered on 8 Mar 2026

Behind the Looking Glass (BTLG) directed by Vaishnavi Sundar, is the first-ever documentary to explore the experiences of women whose male partners have/ or are in the process of 'transitioning'.

BTLG dives into the lives of these women, often referred to as trans widows, highlighting their emotional, social, and personal challenges as their partners undergo or express a desire for 'gender transition'. The documentary aims to give voice to these often overlooked stories, providing a platform for women from around the world to share their experiences.

The complete documentary premiered and is available for viewing on YouTube and X. Behind The Looking Glass represents a shift in narrative focus within 'transgender' discourse, moving from the transitioner's journey to the experiences of their partners. It's highlighted as a significant piece of media for its unique subject matter, aiming to foster understanding and support for trans widows.

This film aims to stand out for its pioneering approach in documenting a niche but profoundly affecting aspect of 'transgender' life's impact on relationships, which has previously received little to no mainstream attention or sympathy.

Watch the whole film here

Playlist here
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRU9NIX0AA16H9JzoewbsM9re6lqadnp9

To support the project, you can choose to donate to the following links:
https://buymeacoffee.com/vaishax

http://PayPal.me/vaishax

RATE/REVIEW THE FILM ON IMDB & LETTERBOXD
IMDb - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt33291282/
Letterboxd - https://letterboxd.com/film/behind-th...

Thanks for the heads up, I'm glad this side of the batshittery is getting some attention. Every 'trans ally' in the land should be made to watch it, so they can appreciate how many lives are damaged by this ideology they're all so clap happy about.

Thank you.

And for Tinsel and all those women and children who have negatively impacted by this.

I love the way Tinsel explains 'phallic drift'. I see it, I sometimes even do it myself, and she always calls it out, certainly on here.

But what's really effective is when she says things like if he'd left me for another woman no one would ask me how he is and if he's happy now.

Like he's pivotal, not her.

Helen Joyce noted it after the Supreme Court ruling. How every interviewer asked how did she think transwomen were feeling?

I do think there's a curiosity as to how such a batshit fetish can take such an enormous, all consuming hold of some men. For sure.

But many of these interviewers don't really have a clue about AGP, so that's not an excuse for them.

It's really quite noteworthy when women like tinsel bring your attention back to the women involved. It's like a path that is so infrequently trodden, it can feel strangely unfamiliar. And all the more shocking because of that.

Funnily enough the journalist I mention in the interviews who asked me if my ex was happy, was Helen Joyce!

No way!

As I said. You sometimes drift without even noticing it.

I wonder if she realised.

It was a long time ago when she interviewed me for her book, so her thinking has developed (helped by me!) since then.

💪

I remember reading a MN thread where the husband was cross dressing.

Up until then, I had only read problem pages about wives which were "well what can you do to make things better". (Apart from the newspaper and magazine articles that mentioned the joy of now having a new partner to go shopping with 😬).

The answers were "This is not what you signed up for - you are allowed to leave." and I was blown away by that complete honesty.

I’ve no evidence for it, but I suspect those problem page letters were planted by the Beaumont Society.

Powerful film. Thankyou @TinselAngel for your determination and strength.

Am I missing something? I watched this film ages ago.

Yes, but it is always worth mentioning so that women who don’t know, find out.

I've just finished watching the film. Please everyone take the time to do the same. Well done to Tinsel and everyone else involved. We must all share the link to this most important documentary through whatever channels or mediums are available. 👏

Yeah. There's no doubt it's a journey. I wonder what she'd say about that now. Her doing the very thing that pisses her off about other people, I mean.

And as other people have noted, it's sometimes a shock to realise how unfamiliar it feels when one puts women first.

The answers were "This is not what you signed up for - you are allowed to leave." and I was blown away by that complete honesty.

Honesty, and the acknowledgement that women can actually put themselves first.

It's always quite enlightening when men post on here and women react to them in a way they're not expecting.

It's one thing not putting yourself first out of altruism, it's quite another when you realise that everyone expects you to take second place, because that's what you're for.

The is a clip from the full film. Vaishnavi has been releasing clips featuring themes from the full film.

The video description I included in the OP includes a link to the full film plus a playlist of the clips xx

🤭

The interview with HJ for the book was a bit like that!

I bet!

Lurking on the Transwidows Support threads was the most important part of my education into what was going on. After that, to make sense of it, Sheila Jeffreys' WDI webinars.

Tinsel was key in helping me get my brain in gear around all of this.

That's extremely interesting. Helen Joyce admits that her attitude has changed and if you read her book carefully you can detect it. In the book, it's clear that she's sympathetic to trans people, both male and female. She heavily cites Blanchart who invented the term AGP, but was also a major champion for destigmatising trans people and integrating them into the social fabric, i .e. she was prepared, intellectually, to accept that for males, trans identification was largely AGP, and also that it also created profound unhappiness and suffering that could be alleviated by presenting as women - and that so far as that didn't impinge on women's spaces she didn't find that in and of itself objectionable.

That's in fact still her over all view, but she's more adamant now about never personally agreeing to pretend to treat transwomen as though they are women, and to not indulge what-about-the-men tropes.

From Joyce's Trans:
"In Galileo’s Middle Finger, Dreger offers another insight: since autogynephilia involves a fantasy of truly becoming, or already being, a woman, any reference to it can be experienced as an insult. ‘There’s a critical difference between autogynephilia and most other sexual orientations: most other orientations aren’t erotically disrupted simply by being labelled,’ she writes. ‘When you call a typical gay man homosexual, you’re not disturbing his sexual hopes and desires. By contrast, autogynephilia is perhaps best understood as a love that would really rather we didn’t speak its name.’
"This explains why such rage is mostly directed at women, even though it is men who commit almost all anti-trans harassment and violence. Blanchard’s observations of extremist transactivism in recent years have led him to believe that the leaders are mostly autogynephiles. Their anger results from ‘envy of women and resentment at not being accepted by women as one of them’, he has tweeted. ‘They direct their ire at women because it is women who frustrate their desires. Men are largely irrelevant.’"

I do find that there is a big difference between understanding AGP intellectually, and listening to the women who've had to put up with it.

Which is, of course, why our exes do our best to silence us.

Thank you Tinsel

I always get scared when something like this comes out but so far so good.