EAP gender info

[HelloAchilles]

I had a reason to call my work Employee Assistance Provider for emotional support last week.

I was very distressed - sobbing.

The person talked a bit and asked me some questions.

if you can (and on this board I think you can) imagine the sort of thing we might have been discussing - and given that I was really crying - at the end of the chat she said to go and do some self led CBT using resources on the work website for a couple of weeks. After that if I still needed help I could come back as ask to be referred for up to 6 sessions of counselling.

Now no one had died but I had told her about some very personal family news that had affected me badly.

She also pointed me to some further info provided by Gendered Intelligence. Oh yes. Linked on their webpage (the EAP).

After I got off the call it took me a while but I worked out that I had been heavily judged.

She thought I wasn’t resilient enough and needed some CBT and some advice from GI. Not support or sympathy.

No, I wanted some actual support and to be listened to non judgementally by someone whose company hadn’t been captured.

i don’t know if I’ve been too vague for you to read between the lines here but it’s the best I can do and I hope you get the jist.

I don’t think I have the energy to go back and complain - I need it for what’s currently going on and what’s to come.

But I’m not at all happy - jeez I didn’t think Gendered Intelligence was going to rear its ugly head yet again , what a lovely surprise.

Is your employer captured Achilles? (Sounds like it). I recommend getting counselling from a real human who isn’t funded by your employer and isn’t proselytising gender madness. If you were distressed about what I think you were distressed about it was truly evil of them to recommend GI. I hope things improve soon 🫂

I think that what you’re thinking is correct @Igmum

And yes, really awful of them.

My organisation itself isn’t captured - but I’m not sure that anyone has looked closely at the company that provides the employee assistance support.

I’m definitely looking for my own support - I got some good pointers on here.

Thank you for the kind thoughts.

Well if you know any Terfs in HR/management rat this counsellor out. She is being paid to support you, not convert you to her religion. It would be utterly unacceptable if a Christian/Muslim/Jewish counsellor pedalled their faith as part of counselling (unless specifically advertised as such). Hope you’re ok

@HelloAchilles, it is one of the most pernicious aspects of this ideology that it makes people not be able to go to others for help or support without worrying that they will be judged and thought of as bigoted.

If you can find online support that’s great (there are a couple of recent threads on here that I think have links that might help you). In person is even better, but do tread carefully and protect yourself where necessary.

@Igmum you know I might follow up on it, I can’t seem to get it out of my mind.
I’m still not ok - can’t focus on work at all. Might need to take some time off to give myself a chance to process things.
@TwoLoonsAndASproutI think have have found some group support - sounds very promising. There is an initial vetting call 🤣
Outside of that and this place - yes, can never be sure what others’ reaction might be. I’ve already been unpleasantly surprised.

You are right to feel upset about this. As a PP said you are entitled to non judgmental support and should complain if you feel able to. My previous employer was forever waving the EAP around when they were managing poorly as if it was some sort of excuse not to try and get things right!

@FarriersGirl Thank you.
My employer is making a big song and dance about their employee wellbeing policy at the moment - always makes me roll my eyes and even more so now!

I'm very sorry you were treated like this, ES shouldn't be outsourced it should be a core HR competence. I hope you can find a competent alternative though you really shouldn't have to.

As for GI, hard to believe that in 2026 anyone still believes they're anything but a political campaign org notable only for provoking the question; "is it utter incompetence, or rank dishonesty?"

Edited to add; of course making complaints is not uppermost in your mind ATM, but try to make some notes of the conversation while it's (unpleasantly) fresh in your mind. That way, if you do decide to complain later, you'll have your ducks in a row.

@HildegardP appreciate that, thank you. It’s on my to do list for sure, finding the name of the right person to contact is surprisingly difficult!