Pronouns campaign being launched at work

[PronounsAtWork]

I found out after the break that this is going ahead, although I don't know when I imagine it will probably be next month considering it's LGBTQ+ history month. I guess it means putting pronouns in our email signatures but probably with rainbow lanyards and the like as well. I've been stewing on whether to contact the DEI bod, especially how this campaign stands alongside the Supreme Court judgment. I'm just wondering if you wonderful women have any guidance for me at all?

Fuck/Off ?

I think most employers make it optional these days.

they're a bit late to the party aren't they?

They've not that long been stonewalled.

But even if it is optional, can it not be seen that you're making a statement by not having your pronouns on display?

Just ignore it. They can’t force you. If they try to either say you disagree with the premise that we can choose our sex, or that you’re not sure so don’t want to commit. And as a PP says, they’re very behind the times!

Just ignore. They can't force you. Most firms are currently dropping Stonewall like a hot brick

I just ignored it and turns out no one actually cares, they have work to do which is much more pressing than this.

Or tell them you are on a long and difficulty journey with your gender identity and you aren’t ready to make a statement about such a deeply personal and fraught issue, they should just carry on as they were while you wrestle with this, and when you feel comfortable you will let them know.

Not in my experience, and there are plenty of trans people who also dislike compulsory or expected pronouns in bios (either because they see it as a bit silly or because they think it puts pressure on people to come out as trans when they might not want to).

Wait and see what happens- you can probably just ignore it.

I suppose my view these days is that not having my pronouns on my email signature is making a statement of a kind, and it’s the only one I feel I need to make. To me, other people choosing to state pronouns that they want you to use for them may be something I analyse as harmful on a societal level, but I’m certainly not prepared to try and interfere with their choices in a way I would object to if they did it to me.

I think it’s harder the more senior you go, of course; I’m relatively low level and thank goodness am part of a shortage profession so nobody wants me to leave.

If I’m asked to wear a rainbow lanyard, I’m perhaps lucky that lanyards actually contravene our dress code (infection control) so there’s no issue. But also the whole thing helped me formulate in my mind that I should be a blank canvas to the people I contact - our interactions are absolutely not about me.

If the issue of pronouns did come up in a 1:1 I would keep the conversation as short as possible. ‘It’s not something I’m willing to do’ is about as much as I would say (never apologise, never explain). If absolutely forced, I would point out that I work with people with language disabilities, and stating my pronouns is in my view adding to the cognitive load of the conversation in a way that could be discriminatory.

What @Coatsoff42said, or alternatively point out that it could be harmful to any employee wrestling with their gender identity. Even better, just get on with your work and ignore it.

This

Or tell them you are on a long and difficulty journey with your gender identity and you aren’t ready to make a statement about such a deeply personal and fraught issue, they should just carry on as they were while you wrestle with this, and when you feel comfortable you will let them know

Perfect response. Throw in a few 'unsafe's' 'most discriminated' and 'sad times' for good measure, and bob's your uncle (he/him)

When someone asked me about pronouns I pointed out that my biology had been a great source of distress in my life. I've had miscarriages, an ectopic pregnancy, endometriosis, flooding, operations and a difficult child birth on top of failing to be able to breastfeed. I'd find being reminded of this in every email and teams call very distressing and do my very best to avoid these memories. No one has asked since.

And last I heard SW are in financial trouble.

I love this!

I'd ask how it fits with the yueketar sp) principle as forcing transpeople to out themselves is not ok.
If you're feeling particularly brave a note to hr that its indirect sex discrimination and direct believe discrimination to insist that you put your pronouns in your bio, as it draws attention to your being female and that causes men to treat you worse than they would a man (there's lots of stats on this) and forcing you to participate in an act of religious observance to a faith you do not share is direct discrimination.
The prospect of being successfully sued usually makes this bs disappear overnight, especially when you point out that stonewall have been cited in several crt cases for giving illegal and discriminatory advice

Yep

yeah, I've brrn ignoring this for aaaaages and no one has mentioned it
a shame really as it would be an interesting debate

I work for an organisation which considers itself to be extremely progressive and was very onboard with Stonewall. (Though they have gone very quiet since the Supreme Court FWS case.)

Interestingly not that many staff actually took the option to put pronouns in their auto signatures. About 10% by my observation.

My response to being asked for my pronouns is to say with a polite smile “that’s not a practice I participate in”.

I find that if you say it politely with quiet confidence and a steady gaze. follow up questions are rarely asked.

"I'm not comfortable with this, I feel like I'd be outing myself at work when I'm still coming to terms with my authentic self, have you thought about that for others?"

Yogyakarta.
It's pronounced Jogjakarta, and commonly known as Jogja.
Sorry if I sound like a twat but I've been there so I know it!

That's ok I'm dyslexic so I always get these things wrong hence the (sp)

I worked for a major corporate for 37 years, it must have been six or more years ago when they came out with the Stonewall law, and “let’s be good allies to our LGBTQI+ bollocks colleagues”. I’m sure it was pre-Covid, and at the time I hadn’t gone down the sex realist rabbit hole. Pronouns came with a shiny policy about not challenging people transitioning and letting them stampede over everyone else’s dignity, respect and privacy if they want to.

Anyway, long story short, hardly anyone adopted the pronouns, and we had just shy of 100,000 employees. I don’t work there anymore, I would LOVE to know whether they have updated their DEI policy since the Supreme Court ruling.

I would just ignore it, and if the company forces you to use them, raise a grievance.

Ffs, talk about turning up to the party when everyone’s getting their coats and the lights have come on 😂😂😂