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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

"Don't lie to yourself"

13 replies

SwirlyGates · 09/12/2025 21:29

I just came across this quote from Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov, and thought the board would appreciate it:

"Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to such a pass that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love, and in order to occupy and distract himself without love he gives way to passions and coarse pleasures, and sinks to bestiality in his vices, all from continual lying to other men and to himself. The man who lies to himself can be more easily offended than anyone. You know it is sometimes very pleasant to take offence, isn't it? A man may know that nobody has insulted him, but that he has invented the insult for himself, has lied and exaggerated to make it picturesque, has caught at a word and made a mountain out of a molehill -- he knows that himself, yet he will be the first to take offense, and will revel in his resentment till he feels great pleasure in it, and so pass to genuine vindictiveness. But get up, sit down, I beg you. All this, too, is deceitful posturing..."

OP posts:
TheUnusuallyQuerulentMxLauraBrown · 09/12/2025 22:22

Yes, that does seem rather a board-appropriate quote!

Imnobody4 · 09/12/2025 22:28

Thanks for that. It's spot on - humans never change.

LeftieRightsHoarder · 09/12/2025 23:16

That sounds like an eternal truth. If your whole political movement and philosophy is based on a huge lie, it’s going to distort everything. Amazingly relevant to modern times!

TheywontletmehavethenameIwant · 10/12/2025 08:05

Russian fatalism is about where we act lately. 😁

Teribus21 · 10/12/2025 08:44

Relevant indeed. Especially the points about being so easy to take offence and to enjoy doing so - that really sums it up.

It also reminds me of Solzhenitsyn’s: “live not by lies”.

“Yes, at first it will not be fair. Someone will have to temporarily lose his job. For the young who seek to live by truth, this will at first severely complicate life, for their tests and quizzes, too, are stuffed with lies, and so choices will have to be made. But there is no loophole left for anyone who seeks to be honest: Not even for a day, not even in the safest technical occupations can he avoid even a single one of the listed choices—to be made in favor of either truth or lies, in favor of spiritual independence or spiritual servility. And as for him who lacks the courage to defend even his own soul: Let him not brag of his progressive views, boast of his status as an academician or a recognized artist, a distinguished citizen or general. Let him say to himself plainly: I am cattle, I am a coward, I seek only warmth and to eat my fill.”

https://www.solzhenitsyncenter.org/live-not-by-lies

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn Center — Solzhenitsyn Live Not by Lies

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn's immortal 1974 essay calling for civic courage.

https://www.solzhenitsyncenter.org/live-not-by-lies

Igmum · 10/12/2025 08:49

Thanks Swirly and Teri, spot on. State enforced belief system and woe betide heretics but oh my it is so much better to tell the truth.

TheywontletmehavethenameIwant · 10/12/2025 09:49

A man before his time or has the time has come around yet again.

"Let him not brag of his progressive views, boast of his status as an academician or a recognized artist, a distinguished citizen or general. Let him say to himself plainly: I am cattle, I am a coward, I seek only warmth and to eat my fill.”

Teribus21 · 10/12/2025 10:09

TheywontletmehavethenameIwant · 10/12/2025 09:49

A man before his time or has the time has come around yet again.

"Let him not brag of his progressive views, boast of his status as an academician or a recognized artist, a distinguished citizen or general. Let him say to himself plainly: I am cattle, I am a coward, I seek only warmth and to eat my fill.”

Truly prophetic. It’s uncanny.

GailBlancheViola · 10/12/2025 10:15

Excellent and very appropriate quotes.

MazeyP · 10/12/2025 10:21

Never managed to read him, his stories seemed like a slog where nothing happens, just Russians being miserable. Is this one good?

OpheliaWitchoftheWoods · 10/12/2025 10:23

So very acute. And comfortingly (somewhat) a reminder that plus ca change. This is one of the downsides of human nature. It reminds me of another quote I need to look up and source properly, something about when you tell the nice and noble lie to to protect yourself or others in the moment, behind you creeps the axeman with his shining blade. Because that truth will have to come out, and that hurt to feelings will have to happen anyway; you can do it honestly, or you can lie to yourself that it wasn't you and you have no responsibilities, and make things worse.

SwirlyGates · 10/12/2025 18:54

MazeyP · 10/12/2025 10:21

Never managed to read him, his stories seemed like a slog where nothing happens, just Russians being miserable. Is this one good?

I haven't actually read The Brothers Karamazov, I just came across the quote. I read The Idiot recently - yes, a slog where nothing happens, with the added bonus of unfathomable actions and motivations, like a man being desperate to marry a beautiful woman he's known for half an hour.

Crime and Punishment, on the other hand, made a great impression on me. It's a while since I read it though, so maybe it's time to revisit it.

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HartSeven · 10/12/2025 18:58

Crime and Punishment is so good my teenage son said it was the best book he'd ever read.

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