"More egalitarian in some aspects doesn't mean that the gender norms don't influence them."
Of course. But being freer to choose once there are more opportunities shouldn't be making the gap even wider. How would you explain that?
https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.aas9899
"I'm saying that the whole gender identity is subjective and irrelevant for anyone outside of the holder."
Not really because as I already mentioned we don't socially usually use reproductive traits to distinguish men from women. We use other typical associations to cis people.
And whilst gender identity is personally subjective so is the decision to identify with sexual identity. It's all a matter of what an individual perceives as their defining characteristics.
"A woman is a female person who was raised in gendered society. She can be conforming or not conforming in many aspects, but the shared part is female and being subjected to a specific social norm based on her sex."
But as I mentioned, socially in practice we usually don't know about those 'shared reproductive parts' so they aren't always relevant when making distinctions.
"I understand that many people don't like the gender norm associated with their sex. Gender norms suck in general.
Yes, as both Bindel & Webberley agreed with but the problem is as they & you & I disagree on is how those gender norms come into being. Nurture only for GC's & Nature & Nurture for the rest.
"However, no matter how strongly they express this dislike, it just doesn't change their sex."
Reproductive sex? At least we agree on one thing. 😁