Positive experience - University Hospitals Sussex - female chaperones

[Sellseashells]

Just wanted to express my relief and gratitude at having been offered a female chaperone for an internal exam by a male surgeon today. I've been feeling really apprehensive on the run up to the appt (which I've waited a long time for) given the general climate on these issues in the Brighton area, and some bad experiences previously.

The surgeon was fabulously respectful and supportive and made sure to offer a female chaperone if I preferred, to the male nurse who was on duty. No fluffing about with language - clear sex-based terminology used!

So I just wanted to pass on that bit of positivity and reassurance to anyone Brighton-based and concerned about dealing with this type of situation. As a victim of CSA, I initially felt really daunted by 2 males in the room, but they couldn't have made it feel more appropriate to respect my need for a female present. It's made me feel definitely more able to speak up and ask for a female chaperone if I need next time, knowing they're not all captured, as will be going back a lot in the coming months.

Thanks for all the reactions 😊

I'm hoping not a mad stretch but am also feeling appreciative that it was a positive and seemingly 'normal' experience given all the hard work in fighting these issues by people on this forum, locally and nationally. It's something that has been really bothering me, only realising now how much so!

This is nice to hear!

My mum at 63 is just awaiting a young onset dementia diagnosis. We’ve just had to get carers in for her 3 x a day, the first thing I asked the care team was if they could guarantee anyone doing her personal care would be biologically female.

I was so relieved when they said they could guarantee this 😅 my mum would hate have having a man dress / wash her.

It's SO important! Very glad for your mum.

Sorry to put a downer on this - but you may have received a female chaperone because there were no TIMs there in that role.

I think that the only guarantees come from systemic policies across the NHS to ensure that the ‘Rose’s’ of this world are excluded.

does anyone know the policy at this Trust?

Different area of the country (north west) and different procedure, but I had a mammogram this week and the letter specified that "female staff" would be carrying it out.
I've never had a man do it before and don't remember having this written on the appointment letter before either.

If only we could be assured that female = female 😓

I can't imagine anything worse actually in the moment than if a TIM appeared after I was so relieved to be offered a female chaperone. Surely this just can't happen.

I think it's always been like that as they know full well that most women just would not accept a man in that role.

Have you contacted the hospital since your visit, OP, and given them positive feedback? I would. Personally, I wouldn't bring politics into it in that I wouldn't write 'thank goodness it wasn't a man in a wig & lippie' (even if phrased more elegantly), but I'd want to let them know how much I appreciated the presence of a female chaperone.

That's an excellent idea @Rightsraptor I will certainly do that.