Esther Ghey, school phone ban

[Davros]

I heard her on R4’s Today programme this morning. I thought she was great, really impressive. I wonder how far down the rabbit hole Brianna would have gone if this campaign had been around then.
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cvgng2l7d36o.amp

Perhaps it would be more edifying if instead of proclaiming moral virtue and issuing judgment, one gave thanks and felt blessed that one's own imperfections and failures have not led to such obvious tragedy.

Because it’s solely their mothers job to parent.

According to this thread it would seem so.

People have always found ways to disengage themselves from the world around them. I remember burying my head in books, I was particularly enthralled with Virginia Andrew’s as a teen. I could literally ignore an entire room of people while they talked around me. I also enjoyed horror and crime books all of which my older relatives thought would damage me.

@LittleBitofBread. Whilst what you say might be correct, we aren’t there so who really knows? We might be horrified at this but I’m afraid some dc are very mentally unstable, as adults are, and this young person is obviously very damaged. Some dc needed help far earlier in childhood but very little happens. The adults in school and elsewhere didn’t pick up on murderous tendencies and severe murderous thoughts. I think more adults need to be vigilant.

If the McCanns' awful situation had one positive outcome, it's made leaving kids in hotel rooms or using a hotel 'babysitting' service an absolute no-no. It's now taboo.

Most parents wouldn’t have even considered this even before poor Madeline.

I also don’t think we can compare The McCanns and Ester Ghey. The McCanns were highly educated professionals who choose to leave 3 small vulnerable babies alone night after night to get pissed with their other highly entitled middle class friends who also choose to leave their vulnerable children alone too. They made their children’s vulnerable state public knowledge by telling the restaurant the staff and having it written in the reservation book for all to see. They were fully in control and made the choice to prioritise themselves at every stage putting their wants before the needs of their very young children.

Ester Ghey on the other hand was a struggling single parent living with a violent troubled teenager who had mental health and social issues. She was dealing with a very difficult and controversial situation in a whole new world of technology, social media and gender identity with little to no support.

The situations are not comparable at all.

You are responding to one point selectively quoted from my post. I wasn’t the one doing the comparing; nor, unlike the above post, was I judging either set of parents.

I merely addressed some small positive outcomes arising from two incomprehensible tragedies. That was all.

Yes - I think it’s absolutely in order to set the limits when they demonstrate that they can’t be trusted to behave sensibly with a phone. I found the worst age with this was 12/13 - no problems for ages now he’s 17. We’ve had lots of mealtime discussions about the pros and cons of tech. Things will get better …

But in this case it drew people together who would end up being a toxic combination.

Phones don't just allow your child access to the world. They allow the world access to your child. 🙁

You do you and I'll do me. I will never think "poor mccanns". I will think "poor Madeline. That poor innocence child didn't deserve such neglect."

These fears have all been more than vindicated, the invention of the printing press arguably killed 30 percent of Europe's population. TV led to a precipitous decline in social capital (see Putnam's Bowling Alone) and increased isolation, we have a mental health crisis in our young people, dangerous levels of polarisation. It astonishes me that anyone could genuinely believe there is no issue.

He was a male. It is disrespectful for you to come on a womens rights forum and try to guilt and gaslight us women - with lived experience as girls and women, females, and our oppression - to call a male by female pronouns. Just who do you think you are to make that demand? Have some respect for us! We say NO! Got it?

A smartphone is not the same “resource” as books and TV and is always available, includes social media etc. You are comparing apples with pears. Most teenagers would likely support this ban too I reckon as they agree it’s bad for their mental health.

Further, most of these boys 'views' of what a girl/woman is, is pornified, hence Brianna's "provocative" sexy poses and posing sexually in the girls toilets at school, upsetting the girls there, YET he still punched holes in the walls at home like a strong violent male. And menaced and bullied his mother with his male strength and male violence.

So no, @GhostLivesHere , we will not, not now, not ever call a male who took photos in the girls toilets upsetting the girls at the school there and who punched holes in the walls of his mother's house 'she/her'. You know where you can get with that gaslighting and disrespectful demand of the oppressed sex class!

True, the phone isn't to blame for his murder. But these phones and social media on it fuel the Gender social contagion.

Not even remotely the same. Home computers didn't fuel a social contagion.

I agree with every single point.

I think in that case, some blame should be placed on the parents of the killers for not adequately supervising the teens phone usage.

@peonypatch Out of interest - how old are your children?

I'm going to hazard a guess that if you raise a child who turns out to be a sadistic killer, failing to supervise their phone use is merely one of many ways in which you have failed in your parenting responsibilities.

Out of curiosity, what would be the other ways?

So how did child killers come about before mobile phones were invented? Of course they might be a catalyst but they are not solely to blame and neither are parents. Many people are in contact with dc. Others can get involved - particularly schools. All they did was isolate dc. The problems some dc exhibit are far more complex than phone use. Addiction to phones is a mental heath issue in dc when it’s punished at school. Parents need help to recognise the damage it can do and how to limit phone use. However it’s not the sole reason dc murder.

No one needs their head stuck on a screen let alone kids. Our generation of parents and teachers are too scared to say no. We are scared of our own kids.

Agreed. I’m sure in some countries they ban phones in schools. France?

@newusernameSA2 My DN had an attachment to a home computer for 10 hours a day in the holidays watching very unsuitable videos. Parents did nothing due to tantrums. This was at primary school. Obviously parents who prefer to be friends with dc have difficulty parenting. It’s not just phones that are addictive and corrode the brain. DN hasn’t murdered anyone but did not do well at school despite being pretty bright. There is no doubt parents are raising a load of addicted dc but they don’t all murder. So who spots the murders? It’s too easy to say it’s the fault of the phone you bought for your dc then didn’t control.