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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Gender critical viewpoint as explained by a bloke

147 replies

FrontEndLoader · 16/08/2025 06:08

Morning all,

Was browsing reddit last night whilst sitting around on the evening shift. Ended up going down a bit of a rabbithole and reading some discussions on AskTransgender as was curious to see what the response to the recent supreme court ruling was.

Ended up reading a thread asking why so many cis women are 'not accepting of trans women' and one of the first responses I read was the below, which appeared to be written by a man. I'm still getting my head around the various arguments as tbh I've not really given much thought to the whole discussion the past few years - I don't think I've ever actually seen a trans person in real life aside from a few non binary looking schoolgirls who could also have been lesbians, and I work in the construction sector where all this woke stuff is pretty non existent.

Curious to see if people agree with the below. Sounds pretty logical to me and quite surprised it hasn't caused an epic shitstorm on there tbf lol.

Some people are just bigoted no doubt, but I think it's reductive to suggest it's all down to transphobia. I think more often it's a fundamental disagreement on a few key aspects.

Typically, the discussion focuses on trans identity and the refusal of gender critical women to accept said identity. However, I think in some cases the resistance might actually stem from the GC women feeling that their own identity is being challenged.

For example, if you've been accepted as 'a woman' all your life and somebody you perceive as male suddenly tells you that they're a women now and you're a cis woman some people aren't going to like that. Perhaps even less if that person is younger than them or of a demographic that would've been considered male in traditional societies.

That would perhaps explain why a lot of GC women tend to be middle aged - they've had years of being a woman and then suddenly a 20 year old 'male' (in their eyes) tells them he's a woman and biological women are now just a sub category of womanhood. Whether or not the GC woman is justified in feeling this way, some will no doubt argue that it's like telling a pre-op trans woman that she's now going to be called a 'pre-trans' rather than just a 'trans woman'.

Another common theme seems to be women's safety. I'm not going to try and define biological sex as there is much disagreement on what constitutes it. However, we know for a fact that 98% of recorded sex crimes are committed by individuals with a penis. This seems to be a big part of GC women's resistance to being alone in a state of undress with individuals that have penises, or facilitating a situation where said individuals could be around their daughters unsupervised whilst both are unclothed. Same for women who are rape survivors and experience trauma responses when alone with unfamiliar males, especially when naked and feeling vulnerable, or women that can't be naked with 'male bodied' people for religious reasons.

This isn't strictly about trans women from what I've read. The argument seems to be that we don't want to normalise the situation where a male paedophile can just claim to be a woman and follow the girls swimming team into the changing rooms. Many would say this is the entire reason we have sex segregated facilties in the first place and the reason behind the recent Supreme Court judgement.

Unfortunately, there have been a few high profile cases where some pretty vile sex offenders (e.g. Barbie Kardashian) have transitioned and been sent to women's prisons, which has fuelled the flames. Many people would argue that a male sex offender shouldn't be able to get sent to an institution full of vulnerable women just by claiming to be a woman shortly before the sentencing date, which appears to be what happened.

These aren't necessarily my own views. I'm just explaining what I understand to be the common GC arguments as somebody who has tried to understand both sides of the debate.

OP posts:
FrontEndLoader · 16/08/2025 07:57

yetanotherusernameAgain · 16/08/2025 07:55

And your point is?

I've seen "women" who I thought were transwomen. And I think I've developed an eye for recognising some transmen. This is just on public transport, so I never find out for certain.

And I once saw someone who I literally couldn't tell if they were male or female. Young, short hair, wearing a smart masculine-looking trouser suit and shoes. But facially they were right on the border of slightly feminine-looking man or androgenous-looking woman. I really couldn't tell. It was fascinating.

Edited to add: they weren't tall, which added to the feeling that they might have been a woman dressed in a masculine way.

Edited

That sounds a bit like the look I was trying to describe.

OP posts:
idontknowhowtodreamyourdreams · 16/08/2025 07:59

Interesting. And not all total shite, just some.

DeanElderberry · 16/08/2025 08:01

oh, and re: gender dysphoria, a psychologist's observations

x.com/Psychgirl211/status/1808825717204922755

myplace · 16/08/2025 08:04

The pictures girls would have just been ‘normal’ in the 80s. I remember the undercut making a bit of a stir, but it wasn’t considered masculine. Just a bit extreme at first.

I have seen several androgynous people I couldn’t confidently classify- but they were standing still and not speaking. One was on the older side of middle aged, which surprised me. Though the extra padding middle age brings probably contributed to my confusion.

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 16/08/2025 08:07

DeanElderberry · 16/08/2025 08:01

oh, and re: gender dysphoria, a psychologist's observations

x.com/Psychgirl211/status/1808825717204922755

Dr P is excellent, she cuts through the crap. It’s a social contagion that’s magnified by social media and weak people who just want to be seen as cool.

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 16/08/2025 08:09

FrontEndLoader · 16/08/2025 07:48

Wrongly or rightly these kind of looks would make me think the person is possibly making a statement.

They just look like women, how they define themselves isn’t in anyway obvious to me, they’re just women.

Enough4me · 16/08/2025 08:10

Whenever I read the explanations of what gender is or isn't, I observe that it's all based on make-believe. I could create a new made-up term tomorrow. Buzzoff or Buzzin as two variants for example. I could align this to something like sex or age and try to link it to make it real.
It wouldn't be real anymore than gender is.
Things that have material reality like sex and age are present even if they're not described with mumbo-jumbo terms.
Feelings exist but they change and do not affect things like sex, nor do haircuts.

yetanotherusernameAgain · 16/08/2025 08:16

Why waste so much effort on something that is completely made up and totally meaningless.

Totally agree with your thoughts about "identity". It's stupid navel gazing nonsense...

This isn't very tolerant of other people's ways of thinking. I don't mind what, how, or how much people think about these matters. What concerns me is how it manifests in wider society, especially things that are being foisted on us as 'the norm' with no exploration of how widespread these beliefs actually are.

Have a sense of having two identities that align and want to self-describe as Cis? Fine, go ahead. But acknowledge that people who have that mindset are in addition to people who don't have it. It hasn't overwritten all human beings' sense of self.

myplace · 16/08/2025 08:16

DeanElderberry · 16/08/2025 08:01

oh, and re: gender dysphoria, a psychologist's observations

x.com/Psychgirl211/status/1808825717204922755

This is extraordinary- what an excellent deconstruction of gender dysphoria! And clear established treatment paths, as well.

MsPug · 16/08/2025 08:23

NeelyOHara · 16/08/2025 06:24

I don’t hate that, it’s actually pretty hard to argue with.

Great user name - my favourite book

nutmeg7 · 16/08/2025 08:26

FrontEndLoader · 16/08/2025 07:06

I understood the bit about challenging their identity to mean that a lot of women don't take well to being told they're now a cis woman. A subset of women. Basically being reclassified. I may not be right though but I didn't take it as meaning they don't like being forced to reflect on their identity.

I think it grates because I don’t see “woman” as part of my “identity”.

I am a woman because I am adult, human and female.

My identity isn’t anything to do with that.

An “identity” is about self perception and how you’d like others to see you eg independent minded, or restaurant enthusiast who like cooking, or arts and crafts practitioner or mathematician or fashion lover. Anything. But not basic facts about your sex.

It is the trans brigade who have tried to turn “woman” into an identity rather than a factual biological label.

And I do resent that.

FrontEndLoader · 16/08/2025 08:40

DeanElderberry · 16/08/2025 08:01

oh, and re: gender dysphoria, a psychologist's observations

x.com/Psychgirl211/status/1808825717204922755

I'm still open to the possibility that there could be a cognitive basis for some of it. However, no doubt there's also the trend element of it that appeals to teenagers desperate to be different. Probs not too dissimilar to all the teens faking tics on TikTok (Tic-Tok 🤣) and endlessly posting about being 'neurospicy' etc.

OP posts:
FrontEndLoader · 16/08/2025 08:46

nutmeg7 · 16/08/2025 08:26

I think it grates because I don’t see “woman” as part of my “identity”.

I am a woman because I am adult, human and female.

My identity isn’t anything to do with that.

An “identity” is about self perception and how you’d like others to see you eg independent minded, or restaurant enthusiast who like cooking, or arts and crafts practitioner or mathematician or fashion lover. Anything. But not basic facts about your sex.

It is the trans brigade who have tried to turn “woman” into an identity rather than a factual biological label.

And I do resent that.

I don't really identify as a woman either. I think a lot of feminists centre their womanhood as a big part of identity though so I can see why the trans movement has infuriated them. I don't really tend to look at things through a male/female lens much though.

OP posts:
lemonraspberry · 16/08/2025 08:50

if you've been accepted as 'a woman' all your life and somebody you perceive as male suddenly tells you that they're a women now and you're a cis woman some people aren't going to like that.

That is one way of looking at it. But there is also the double standard. A woman styles her hair in a certain way (e.g. braids) she could be accused of cultural appropriation. Everyone has, rightly, become more respectful culturally and stopped various ways of entertainment e.g. ones which involves face blackening etc

But when it comes to women we just seem to be a sitting duck which anyone can just insult any which way they feel.

It can all be summed up as a complete and utter disrespect to our living experience as biological females as we have to put up with yet another aspect of male behaviour which disregards us as female in our own right and reduces us to bad makeup and tacky clothes which has to be taken seriously and at the expense of everything women have fought for in the last 50-60 years.

Velvian · 16/08/2025 08:53

I think my objection to 'cis' is that it implies I have an uncomplicated relationship with my gender identity.

I was a girl and then a woman. I was incredibly naive for far too long. I thought I was a human being; the same as my dad and cousins, male friends and boyfriends. I experienced some really confusing incidents of being told to shut up, criticised in my appearance, left out of things for no reason I could understand, experienced sexual assaults and harassment from some of those people, who were all being outwardly 'nice' to me.

It was only when I became pregnant (late teens) and had my DS that any pretence of niceness and grooming and manipulation was dropped. The penny (finally!) dropped for me.

I think all of the above is gender and it was imposed upon me. Don't call me 'cis' and assume I have sailed through life as a girl and woman. I was a human first and that was incrementally taken away from me when I was 'gendered' by other people.

I find the trans movement incredibly regressive. I hate gender and I am very happy to accept people as they are; however they want to dress and live and work and whoever they want to love.

Why does being even slightly outside of a stereotype mean that there is something wrong with your body? That you were born in the 'wrong' body? It is total madness to me, it is like putting one of those ineffective waterproof plasters on a severed limb instead of going to A&E; it is completely the wrong solution. It makes you feel insane when you're saying 'I really think you should go to A&E' and everyone else is nodding along with the sticking plaster and giving you evils.

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 16/08/2025 08:53

yetanotherusernameAgain · 16/08/2025 08:16

Why waste so much effort on something that is completely made up and totally meaningless.

Totally agree with your thoughts about "identity". It's stupid navel gazing nonsense...

This isn't very tolerant of other people's ways of thinking. I don't mind what, how, or how much people think about these matters. What concerns me is how it manifests in wider society, especially things that are being foisted on us as 'the norm' with no exploration of how widespread these beliefs actually are.

Have a sense of having two identities that align and want to self-describe as Cis? Fine, go ahead. But acknowledge that people who have that mindset are in addition to people who don't have it. It hasn't overwritten all human beings' sense of self.

Being too tolerant is what has got us into the state we're in. It's time we stopped indulging gender nonsense.

RedToothBrush · 16/08/2025 08:53

Identity nonsense is bollocks. Somethings you just are. You can't change.

Its like saying I have blue hair but identify as having pink hair therefore I change my hair colour permanently not by using hair dye but by replacing each strand at the root so it grows back pink.

It's nonsense.

You can't change your sex. Just like you can't change your DNA history. It's literally written into you like a code.

As for 'just like being gay' in terms of it not being something you can see this also doesn't work because being gay is a sexuality that is about reading the dna encoding of others. All this business of making being gay into an identity not a sexuality troubles me deeply. Are we saying that being transgender is a sexuality? It certainly suggests that part of the effort is about trying to hide the sexuality element as an identity to sanitise it and gain the legitimacy of 'just like being gay'. It's a question that raises red flags and is problematic to gay people.

That's where the man's playing starts to fall down pretty quickly.

FrontEndLoader · 16/08/2025 08:56

myplace · 16/08/2025 08:04

The pictures girls would have just been ‘normal’ in the 80s. I remember the undercut making a bit of a stir, but it wasn’t considered masculine. Just a bit extreme at first.

I have seen several androgynous people I couldn’t confidently classify- but they were standing still and not speaking. One was on the older side of middle aged, which surprised me. Though the extra padding middle age brings probably contributed to my confusion.

Yeah, I don't think appearance defines people but those with a strong sense of self identity often seem to want to signal it. Those were the pics that came up when I googled 'non binary haircut'.

Edited for typos.

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 16/08/2025 08:56

Velvian · 16/08/2025 08:53

I think my objection to 'cis' is that it implies I have an uncomplicated relationship with my gender identity.

I was a girl and then a woman. I was incredibly naive for far too long. I thought I was a human being; the same as my dad and cousins, male friends and boyfriends. I experienced some really confusing incidents of being told to shut up, criticised in my appearance, left out of things for no reason I could understand, experienced sexual assaults and harassment from some of those people, who were all being outwardly 'nice' to me.

It was only when I became pregnant (late teens) and had my DS that any pretence of niceness and grooming and manipulation was dropped. The penny (finally!) dropped for me.

I think all of the above is gender and it was imposed upon me. Don't call me 'cis' and assume I have sailed through life as a girl and woman. I was a human first and that was incrementally taken away from me when I was 'gendered' by other people.

I find the trans movement incredibly regressive. I hate gender and I am very happy to accept people as they are; however they want to dress and live and work and whoever they want to love.

Why does being even slightly outside of a stereotype mean that there is something wrong with your body? That you were born in the 'wrong' body? It is total madness to me, it is like putting one of those ineffective waterproof plasters on a severed limb instead of going to A&E; it is completely the wrong solution. It makes you feel insane when you're saying 'I really think you should go to A&E' and everyone else is nodding along with the sticking plaster and giving you evils.

Well quite.

There's lots of middle age women who have had this lived experience and realised that even though they might have liked to have been men because being a woman can be pretty shit at times and gender stereotypes are crap sexist nonsense - actually they aren't, they can't and actually being a woman has some pretty good stuff too.

And this process of realising this is normal. And we've taken ownership of it.

Velvian · 16/08/2025 08:58

Velvian · 16/08/2025 08:53

I think my objection to 'cis' is that it implies I have an uncomplicated relationship with my gender identity.

I was a girl and then a woman. I was incredibly naive for far too long. I thought I was a human being; the same as my dad and cousins, male friends and boyfriends. I experienced some really confusing incidents of being told to shut up, criticised in my appearance, left out of things for no reason I could understand, experienced sexual assaults and harassment from some of those people, who were all being outwardly 'nice' to me.

It was only when I became pregnant (late teens) and had my DS that any pretence of niceness and grooming and manipulation was dropped. The penny (finally!) dropped for me.

I think all of the above is gender and it was imposed upon me. Don't call me 'cis' and assume I have sailed through life as a girl and woman. I was a human first and that was incrementally taken away from me when I was 'gendered' by other people.

I find the trans movement incredibly regressive. I hate gender and I am very happy to accept people as they are; however they want to dress and live and work and whoever they want to love.

Why does being even slightly outside of a stereotype mean that there is something wrong with your body? That you were born in the 'wrong' body? It is total madness to me, it is like putting one of those ineffective waterproof plasters on a severed limb instead of going to A&E; it is completely the wrong solution. It makes you feel insane when you're saying 'I really think you should go to A&E' and everyone else is nodding along with the sticking plaster and giving you evils.

And I totally understand why so many adolescents girls want to opt out of womanhood now that it an 'option'. It is only girls that are transing in my DCs' school.

FrontEndLoader · 16/08/2025 09:00

RedToothBrush · 16/08/2025 08:53

Identity nonsense is bollocks. Somethings you just are. You can't change.

Its like saying I have blue hair but identify as having pink hair therefore I change my hair colour permanently not by using hair dye but by replacing each strand at the root so it grows back pink.

It's nonsense.

You can't change your sex. Just like you can't change your DNA history. It's literally written into you like a code.

As for 'just like being gay' in terms of it not being something you can see this also doesn't work because being gay is a sexuality that is about reading the dna encoding of others. All this business of making being gay into an identity not a sexuality troubles me deeply. Are we saying that being transgender is a sexuality? It certainly suggests that part of the effort is about trying to hide the sexuality element as an identity to sanitise it and gain the legitimacy of 'just like being gay'. It's a question that raises red flags and is problematic to gay people.

That's where the man's playing starts to fall down pretty quickly.

I've seen people try and compare the two by saying they're both ultimately about feelings as opposed to a proven cognitive condition like autism.

OP posts:
Ereshkigalangcleg · 16/08/2025 09:02

FrontEndLoader · 16/08/2025 06:29

I also think that there is a bit of a class divide in this country when it comes to being gender critical. I would say more middle class, privileged people tend to have their luxury beliefs around letting men go wherever they like, because it really won't affect them day to day.

This is an interesting point. I'd have almost assumed the opposite. That it's more a matter of principle and that women that are struggling to put food on the table etc would be more in the here and now and less worried about men in women's sports etc.

Whether middle class women are more likely to oppose transgender ideology (which is true in the activist sense, but no working class woman I know has any truck with it) is one thing, but he’s right, genderism is a middle class luxury belief. I suspect the middle classes are more likely to be political activists across the board.

nutmeg7 · 16/08/2025 09:05

FrontEndLoader · 16/08/2025 08:46

I don't really identify as a woman either. I think a lot of feminists centre their womanhood as a big part of identity though so I can see why the trans movement has infuriated them. I don't really tend to look at things through a male/female lens much though.

Feminists centre their “womanhood” (I would call it “being female”) because female is what they are in a materially real sense.

Feminism is all about saying just because women are different to men, we are not worth less than men, we are all equally human.

We are not as strong, fast or large on average, we gestate the next generation of humans, and we have been historically denied education, property rights, and bodily autonomy because of this.

Ultimately, before legal systems became codified, it’s the person who is more able to physically assert their dominance who is going to come out on top. If a man really wants to hurt you, you don’t have a lot you can do to stop him. It’s why women tend to freeze, appease and so on. We aren’t going to win a fist fight.

Being female is absolutely material to feminism. So many feminists are proud of being female. But I would still say that it is a fact about us, not something we identify as.

PauliString · 16/08/2025 09:05

FrontEndLoader · 16/08/2025 07:48

Wrongly or rightly these kind of looks would make me think the person is possibly making a statement.

I'd think 'good practical haircut for curls' or 'eighties style' or even 'WI outing'.

MadameSzyszkoBohusz · 16/08/2025 09:06

FrontEndLoader · 16/08/2025 06:52

I'm talking about girls that have a very typically male haircut which makes it hard at first glance to determine their sex. IME most young people doing this are doing it to signpost their identity.

Yes, my 13 year old DD has very short hair and chooses deliberately masculine style clothes with lots of layers to cover up her shape. As she’s also quite tall, she’s usually mistaken for a boy.

She currently says she’s NB and a lesbian. Obviously we have no problem with her being gay, and are adopting a “that’s nice dear” approach to her being NB, in the hope of not giving it oxygen!

As far the OP goes, it’s a decent summary.