Not All Men and the case of 20-year-old Newlywed Shanti Brutally Raped

[OutsideLookingOut]

20-year-old Shanti was brutally raped by her husband leading to her death. No way to tell he was going to be a demon. Going into the details is even too upsetting for me to type up but you can read it here https://www.dawn.com/news/1927851

It made me think about how the Male Loneliness Epidemic is not usually framed as the natural consequences of the actions of men who treat women badly. We see news globally, know what they look for in porn... and cases like these are not even one-offs

1. Men in Rape Chat Groups with 70,000 members uncovered
2. The Gisele Pelicot Case
3. Hundreds of Men (including married men and men with gfs) caught with 'Sister Hong'
4. Two-thirds of UK adults wouldn’t seek help or advice if they knew or suspected their partner, parent or child was viewing sexual images or videos of under-18s online. I can't remember what program I saw where an FBI agent I think said that they would not have the prison spaces to put in all the men who watched child SA. What recent estimates are of the population who regularly watch it are, I do not know.

I know not all men are bad but how is a person meant to know, who is and who isn't and why can't we talk about trends in male behaviour without getting this statement thrown at us.

Credit to BurbNBougie who highlighted this case:

My heart goes out to this poor girl and though I'm not sure what can be gained by this I had to share it.

Realise it is not a trans issue but hope it is still okay to post here.

Of course it is okay to post here. It is only MNHQ who relabelled what is the Feminist and Women's Rights thread to make it seem that only an obsessive minority were writing about trans issues.

It is just that at the current period of time the TRAs are the mos open and hostile group of MRAs trying to undermine women's rights.

Its high time @MNHQ removed the false label because a few women thought it wasn't "kind" to be critical of TW!

So forget the label. Look at the content. There are many thread about male violence, with absolutley noting to do with TRAs.

It’s a sex and gender subforum and entirely within scope.
I know that I lose my words about these horrors.
And I am deeply sickened by them and riven by shame at the lack of progress at addressing this.

ETA crossed with PP.

I should not be shocked but I always am. I hope this got a lot of coverage in Pakistan. It is horrible to think a woman died like this and it will just continue again and again!

I can't help but feel the disturbing and increasingly painful trends in porn do not help with this. Most people do not realise porn stars have to take drugs, get surgeries etc etc to deal with the performance or the consequences of it. Not that I think it is a big factor in this case but it could be a part of it.

Sadly for many married women they only experience "marital rape" as they have grown up under the impression that it is about their husband having the right to have sex with her whether she wants to or not.

What is so horrific about this case is that this isn't just "rape".

This is about extreme violence against a woman, whether influenced or not by pornography, that for men sex with a woman isn't about sexual gratification but about the right to inflict pain.

Where did this man get these ideas of brutal torture from?

What sane person would think they could use objects like this and not harm someone.

I dont need to go on.

Did he hate her that much, or was it just about having the opportunity to inflict his fantasies on a woman he had control of through marriage.

Many men are unkind, rude, demeaning, and force themselves on their wives.

But they do not carry out acts of violence that make instruments of torture seem tame.

How did this man become this monster.

And is society can start asking questions about what attitudes they are allowing to flourish, that encouraged him to think it was okay.

RIP Shanti

I just cannot comprehend it.

Did he want her to die ? Hate her that much ? And thought he would get away with it presumably.

Or did he not think this would happen as a result of what he must have done to her ?

It does not help that some religions support this. Patriarchy + religion = hell. The wife's body belongs to the husband.

There is the term called "wife appliance" which I think explains why men think they can do anything with their wife. She is there to serve him and satisfy even his sickest of fetishes. You do not care if your microwave feels pain, perhaps for some men it is the same for the wife or they find pleasure in it. Where women are seen as disposable and not worth much you just get another one. What I found shocking in this case was HIS family and doctors trying to cover this up. It shows a complete disregard for female life. I cannot even say for sure he hated her.

Many men do not go this far but how many think nothing of inflicting painful acts on their partners whether they want it or not?

85pc of married women in Pakistan experience physical or sexual violence — far higher than Bangladesh’s 53pc and India’s 29pc.

This 😱😱😱

Appalling! I had no idea of the huge discrepancy! That’s something that I feel we should be aware of! My God!

This is horrifying. I just hate how slow it is for women to gain freedom around the world. It does not help that many of them will believe in such a system and support it. The MIL in this case supported her demon son, whether she had any power is debateable though.

The term rape doesn't cover it imo.
Brutalised
Tortured
Can't imagine how her family are coping.
Or his that they raised such an absolute monster
..

I just can't comprehend what this young woman went through.
It feels way beyond what I hate to term 'normal' domestic abuse....it's such a violent extreme act. Why....why? Why would you do this....
It doesn't feel like your 'usual' control via sex in a DA relationship...it was a hideous murderous act.

Wow, yes it goes on , but ones lovely wife is a human being and one needs to treat them with love , respect, as a individual human person , l live in UK this is so dreadfull, ones lady should be happy in a partnership and her thoughts of what she wants honored for ever, a man should love as promised when getting married. , the article you have posted is dreadfull so very sorry.

85pc of married women in Pakistan experience physical or sexual violence — far higher than Bangladesh’s 53pc and India’s 29pc.

where does this figure come from? is it reliable?
because if it is, that's very significant
unless we think that Pakistani men are somehow fundamentally different from men in Bangladesh and India, we need to know what Pakistan is doing wrong/India is doing right
well not right, 29% is still appalling but not as bad as 85%

This is horrific reading. So saddened to hear how this poor young lady was treated.

The prevalence of gender violence—the percentage of ever-partnered women who ever suffered intimate partner physical and/or sexual violence—is one of the measures used by the Global Gender Gap Index.

In Pakistan, 85% of ever-partnered women have experienced such gender violence (World Economic Forum, 2023). This percentage is frightfully high even compared to rates in other countries in the region, such as Bangladesh (53%) and India (29%) (World Economic Forum, 2023).

Source: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11702125/

Not forgetting that in whichever country, including our all, not all instances of DV are reported, let alone logged.

Theres a v good chance that those figures under report violence inflicted on women and girls. I cannot bring myself to read Shanti’s case (I’m sorry Shanti) but going by what others have written, it’s horrific.

Pakistani culture does seem to be more problematic for women. Is it a stronger patriarchal structure than in India and Bangladesh or something more? Pakistan ranks 142 out of 146 countries in terms of gender equality. Only Iran, Chad, Algeria and Afghanistan are worse. (World Economic Forum, 2023).

You brought up an interesting point OP, when you said
It made me think about how the Male Loneliness Epidemic is not usually framed as the natural consequences of the actions of men who treat women badly.

The whole Incel thing seems to be centred on punishing women for not being sexually available to all and any men, including and especially the nasty pieces of work who only live through the keyboard and the screen.
And if the screen in question is providing more and more violent porn, the ways of punishing women for not being sexually available are more and more inhumane.

The misogyny which is at the heart of the incel 'community' is all around us, it is crystallised and taken to extremes by incels. The slightly watered-down version, as promoted by the likes of the Tate brothers, is hugely influential in countries where women thought we had achieved a reasonably high degree of social equality.

And of course this is all the fault of women, and specifically feminist women, because we insist on doing that hateful thing of wanting to choose which men we relate to, and what kind of relationship we want to have with them.
For that we must be punished. And some will be punished more sadistically than others, as a warning, a reminder that it could be any of us.

That poor, poor young woman, RIP Shanti.

Its so horrible and makes me feel so helpless, I know this is an extreme case but the numbers of women all over the world in marriages where they are unsafe and the husband gets to use her body as he likes. Even just being required to have normal sex on demand, especially after doing all the childcare and housework and often a job as well, even if you’re in pain or post-partum or not feeling well, is vile.

When I think of feminism and being a feminist, I see ending this misery for every woman in the world as a priority - though it’s so hard to do. The attack on women’s right by transactivism is also important and must be fought, but it’s far from the only urgent danger.

Women like Najma the local activist who helped and recounted what happened to the press are doing massively important work in fighting this. It’s one reason the shit thrown at feminists for being “white” is so ignorant and stupid.

I think the other side of this is knowing, whether to a greater or lesser extent, men in societies all over the world are still growing, and in the instances of access to the internet, with endless examples of pornified male violence against women as a norm.

No more top shelf, or furtive discussions among groups of men.

Obviously this is a western view, but the extreme and tortuous nature of the violence has to raise questions about how men are apparently totally captured by this view of women as objects of torture.

This isn't anything to do with having sex with someone.

Thank you for picking up on that and yes, such interesting points. We can never really win no matter what they say. Be open to everyone and "you should have chose better" or you are slut shamed. Avoid men altogether and they punish the women who actually want or at least settle for them. Despite so many awful cases around the world they wonder why the birth-rate is dropping too or why women with choices are avoiding men. This really annoys me.

I really like that you said this could be any of us. It could. We do not all get punished extremely but some of us will. Some of us may not even know what is being done to us (like Gisele Pelicot). I just wanted to bring awareness. It still makes me feel so sick that this poor woman was brutally tortured and died in pain this way.

This!

Yes I agree with you on the trans issue too. I just hate that we have to waste time saying 2+2=4 when things like this are happening. I remember a time - perhaps I was just young and naïve - when the left appeared to use logic. I remember watching Fox news where it seemed ignorance was only celebrated on the right ( I still remember the "tide goes in, tide goes out and you can't explain it" from Bill O'Reilly). That time had it's problems too but I realise no side has ever been rational now.

d

And listen, I am not white nor am I the ethnicity of this victim. I agree we need to work together to help women.

completely agree with everyone's utter frustration at the time we have had to waste defending the most obvious truths