LGBTIQ friendly hotel

[RainSoakedNights]

Just got our tickets for our holiday through, and they state quite a few times that this holiday is “LGBTIQ friendly”

What is this all about? I actually can’t wrap my head around it

Hays travel

It means that my brother who is gay won’t have the awkwardness of management refusing a double bed (has happened) when on the booking it was requested

@Lovelyview

in Germany spas are often naked anyway, quite normal for both sexes to wander around without clothes, shocked me the first time but used to it now, changing areas are often communal and mixed sex, nobody bats an eyelid.

I mean, I've certainly been wary about visiting locations and hotels in the past. I tend to ask friends if they have any experiences or recommendations, where is good to stay and where we should be avoiding. Even now in the UK you can't just assume that a hotel will be fine with two men or two women sharing a bed. Yes, they typically relent and let you book- or stay in the room you'd already booked- but I would always rather avoid the hassle if possible. Italy is one of the places I'd be slightly cautious with, as their political climate can be quite homophobic at times, so the "LGBT+ friendly" clarification would be appreciated.

Anyway, I'd simply assume it means those of us in same-sex relationships would be able to check in without having to argue the toss about sleeping in the same bed. Though far from how it used to be, homophobia is unfortunately still quite common rhetoric and a real concern for a lot of us.

Except that Italy is one of the only places in Europe where gay marriage is still illegal. So i can see why lgbt people might feel more comfortable staying in a hotel that is advertised as lgbt friendly.

I would also say to make sure the hotel isn't actually a gays only or swingers hotel! 😜

I remember the Cornwall B&B case. I remember thinking at the time that maybe the owners had a point about deciding who they would accommodate under their own roof - but if so they needed to make it absolutely clear on their website and marketing materials, and then they'd probably lose their business anyway as lots of straight people wouldn't choose them.

Anyway, yes hotels do sometimes still discriminate against lesbian and gay couples, and I expect that there are a lot of gender-diverse people who have experienced the side eye at hotel and B&B receptions too. I have no problem with hotels which make clear that LGBT people are welcome.

Intersex and Queer I think. I suspect people with DSDs are mega sick of being coupled with this lot! A DSD is not an identity.

''@PotatoWafflerWrites · Today 01:52
I remember in the 90's coming across homophobic attitudes and being judged and openly insulted when using B and B's and hotels when I was in a same sex couple.
I now have lesbian and gay friends who have experienced those same attitudes recently- in the past couple of years- in the UK, other parts of Europe and the US. I was depressed to hear how things are quite similar really to when I was young.
I know that for my lesbian friends who are planning their wedding next year are looking specifically for venues that are not going to make them feel odd or othered, and that's not because they're paranoid or jumping on a bandwagon. It's because they have been made to feel that way in several hotels in recent years.
Whatever I feel about gender identity, I still recognise that people are discriminated against negativity when using hotels. And that's because they may be lesbian, gay, or are trans identified. I'd welcome an indication from a hotel I was booking into, as to what reception I might get. I guess for most people it's not needed, but for me, it would be a slight reassurance that we (same sex couple) aren't going to have to 'explain ourselves' on arrival and be met with judgement and disgust.''

The voice of reason.

This thread comes across as dismissive because in reality discrimination/hostile attitudes against same sex couples are sadly still a thing.

This is always dragged out but it's actually not that clear cut. It just means that you know changing areas are mixed and you can make a decision if you are ok with it before you go. It doesn't come as a surprise. It also means that a lot of people (women mostly, but also men) who don't like it don't use these spaces/facilities and miss out. My nieces (early 30s) also say that it is a lot less common to use mixed faciilties than it was when I was their age because of mobile phones with cameras and also because of recent immigration from countries where this is not the norm. And even back when I was going to big summer Volleyball tournaments with hundreds of teams there were often some women who made sure at least one changing room/showers were kept solely for the use of women.

Is it not illegal to discriminate against gay/trans people in Italy?

@RainSoakedNights Hays use a 3rd party company to provide booking to customers on their app / website and their travel consultants. That 3rd party simply enables connection to hotel content systems (like Expedia) to resell the hotel content on a Hays branded site with some customisation likely. This is pretty standard in the industry - very few agencies actually own their own booking technology.

But important callout is that neither Hays or the likes of Expedia, Booking.com etc. control what information a hotel decides to include in their listing. Essentially, the hotel gets the option to add facilities, amenities, photos, filters like LBTQI friendly, accessibility etc. They're encouraged to add as much information as possible but ultimately its not the travel agencies (like Hays) collecting and providing the information to you as the traveller - they just show what the hotel has loaded on the system.

I’ve not read all of this but it seems they don’t have full protection against discrimination :
lacking nationwide discrimination protections for goods and services, as well as not granting to same-sex couples full parental rights, such as joint adoption

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBTQ_rights_in_Italy

so presumably the equivalent of the Cornwall B&B case would fail.

So in the case of Italy, this hotel is doing more than ‘virtue signalling’.

Hopefully the OP has got her head around this now - any consenting couple of adults shouldn’t face discrimination on the grounds of their sex, sexual orientation or gender reassignment status in hotel accommodation. It doesn’t impinge against anyone else’s fundamental human rights, it’s really not a feminist issue at all except insofar as it affects lesbian couples. It’s a pity that in Italy and elsewhere this right isn’t yet enshrined in law and accepted in society.

Many PP have rightly pointed that unfortunately travel can be an issue for gay, lesbian and black people. Expedia has done a ton of research in this area (as well as accessibility & disability experiences) - Google 'Expedia inclusion in travel research'. Booking.com has also done some research in this area.

Thanks for the explanation.

Four of us, two hetero couples arrived at a rural Italian hotel looking for two double rooms.
Insisted on seeing our passports and on finding out we went married insisted on the two females sharing a room and the two males sharing a room.
So you could try that?

Think I’ve missed the point! Ignore me!

Ah good, I was wondering wtf!😂 if you report your own post you can ask MNHQ to delete it.

I presume the OP is straight and possibly white like me and also thought this kind of discrimination was a thing of the past with the odd rare exception - at least in most of Western Europe.

I’m very sorry that in this day and age that these racist and homophobic attitudes are still around. I’ve lived in a country where I was “different” to the local population and while I didn’t experience explicit discrimination I learned how exhausting it can be just to deal with people reacting to the “difference” when trying to go about every day activities. So I shouldn’t really be surprised.

Thank you to the people sharing their experiences and a reminder that there is still a long way to go. It’s also a reminder that if Stonewall get back to their original mission there is still plenty to do in terms of changing hearts and minds and ensuring equality for our LGB sisters and brothers.

Actually hardly any hotels are disability friendly in a genuine way - try taking a group of adults with complex disabilities (learning disabilities, neurodiversity and some with mobility issues, one in a wheelchair needing his food pureed...) on holiday...

Genuinely completely disability friendly hotels are like gold dust.

I would be rather hoping for feathery handcuffs on the bed head and a two way mirror on the bathroom door, but I expect that all you will get is that inexplicable cord hanging down in the bathroom ( I believe it used to be so you could summon ‘help’ , but that doesn’t seem to happen anymore).

Have a nice holiday!

Having worked at a restaurant once that was very definitely not LGBT friendly, and seeing that you're in Italy, which isn't a particularly friendly place for LGBTs, I think this thread is a bit naive in assuming that there is no discrimination towards anyone in these groups just because this particular place has bolted a load of dubious letters on the end of the acronym.

I don't want to be associated with anything after the B in the alphabet soup but having been on the receiving end of discrimination from these sort of bigots in my everyday life, I have to acknowledge that the places that are not friendly to Ls Gs and Bs are generally not friendly to the rest of them either.

It's fine to talk about whether all those letters should be in the acronym, but to pretend we don't need to know if somewhere is safe for two women or two men (or a man going to Rocky Horror in costume - bigots aren't going to trouble themselves with nuance) to stay is blisteringly naive and smacks of "this doesn't happen these days" when it absolutely still does.

Whilst not wanting to say that discrimination exists in Italy - it does - I think the "LGBTQI+ friendly" labelling is definitely having a bit of a moment. I went to a little mountain refuge / restaurant (just for food, no beds) and they advertised themselves as LGBTQ+ friendly on Google maps. I think it might be something businesses tick on Google maps that now shows up whereas before there wasnt that option?

I just wanted to add to the experiences being shared.

About 5 years ago me and my female partner went to what we thought would be a nice bed and breakfast. We were both feminine and so a lot of people assumed we were friends and not together. At the front desk, the lady made a comment about giving us 2 separate beds and when we corrected her seemed very shocked, turned bright red and said ‘I see what’s going on here.’

Yes, legally they can’t discriminate against people but the micro moments of discomfort are still going strong.

And regardless of what you may think of trans people, they deserve to go to a hotel where they know for sure they also won’t experience those micro moments of discomfort on holiday. If they are in a situation where names don’t align, knowing that it will be handled discreetly and pragmatically and not awkwardly.

So yes, if I saw an LGBTQ+ hotel advertised I would absolutely choose that over one which wasn’t.

Whether all staff are adequately trained and processes reflect that is a whole other question, and yes there should be some kind of criteria they meet to be able to call themselves LGBTQ+ friendly.

Further reflections on customer service - many years ago (pre mobile phones) some friends and I had a disastrous walk that went wrong in the Cotswolds.

We stumbled across a Very Posh Pub - the first clue was that car park was full of marque cars. We were lost, knackered, starving, thirsty, filthy wet and muddy and thought maybe they’d let one of us in to use the phone. Instead they greeted us like we were regulars, insisted it was fine for us all to come in and not to worry about leaving muddy gear outside. They rustled up some fresh sandwiches even though food service had stopped and generally treated us like lords and ladies. I seem to recall it wasn’t even that expensive (although at that point we were so hungry we’d have mortgaged our grannies for something to eat). Turned out we were very close to our cars after all and after a very pleasant hour we were pointed in the right direction and got back without further incident.

It really impressed on me what class service is - making every single person feel welcomed whether they spend a pound or a thousand pounds and regardless of your own personal views. The posh pub people may well have had a private chuckle about the oiks after we left, but they behaved impeccably towards us, and that’s all we cared about.

Now I’m older I’ve realised it’s really not hard to do, and if you cannot stop yourself from treating different customers differently due to your personal beliefs, then don’t go into the hospitality business.

This.