I have a lesbian friend called Dot, who around this time last year retired to a town on the Welsh border. Her new neighbour on the right was a man who, with her gaydar, she immediately recognised as a camp gay man.
He seemed to spend a lot of time with a woman who lived down the street. This woman walked her dogs on rainbow leads and wore a rainbow lapel badge. Dot assumed they were LGB friends. Bumping into the woman wearing her rainbow badge one day, Dot came out with it and said 'Would I be right in assuming you're a lesbian? I am too.'
'No,' said the neighbour, 'but I'm an ally of the LGBTQ+ community.' A few months after that, the apparently LGB neighbours announced they were going to get married and this spring they tied the knot and moved in together.
On the weekend of the local Pride event (which Dot had no intention of attending because she's a proud terf) there was a knock at the door. Her newly-married neighbours were on the doorstep, both dressed in rainbow-patterned items, including rainbow socks, a rainbow waistcoat and a rainbow kimono. They'd called round to ask if she, as a lesbian, owned a Pride flag or a Progress flag they could borrow because they were marching in the Pride parade. Dot explained that she didn't. They were very surprised that she didn't own anything rainbow-patterned.
'But what are you doing walking in the Pride parade?' Dot asked. 'You're straight. Pride is supposed to be for LGB people.'
'We love Pride and we support LGBTQ+ people,' they said. 'Surely there's nothing wrong with that? Most of the people who turn out for Pride are straight people. It would be a very small parade if it was only you lot.'
And people wonder why the LGB community feels so colonised.