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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

The rough sex defence: A new manifestation of misogyny

15 replies

IwantToRetire · 24/07/2025 19:48

An important question raised by the RSD research is how it rose to become so readily seized upon as a potentially effective legal defence. Relevant here is literature such as Laura Bates' excellent but alarming book Men who Hate Women (2020), which highlights how men and boys can become radicalised towards extreme misogyny. In addition, Hagemann-White and colleagues' (2011) 'ecological' model describes multi-layered interactions between social structures and norms, day-to-day interactions in the immediate environment and individuals' life histories.

Growing acceptance of explicit discussions about sexual practices such as BDSM might, we suggest, lead jurors to be more sympathetic to claims of consensual rough sex. This is not, of course, suggesting that consensual BDSM is linked to sexual violence – but rather that the notion of BDSM in the public consciousness (e.g. from the Fifty Shades… novels) could raise the credibility of the RSD. Societal attitudes toward female victims of violence, including victim-blaming and sensationalised media coverage, may also lead jurors to be more accepting of defences that suggest the victim's willing participation in rough sex. High-profile cases where the RSD has been successfully deployed can also set precedents that other defendants might seek to exploit.

The concentration of RSD cases in the 16–24 age group may indicate that the cultural normalisation of public perceptions around rough sex occurred during the formative years of this cohort (Yardley, 2021), who may therefore be particularly vulnerable to claims that their homicides were 'sex games gone wrong'. There is little evidence for women deriving sexual gratification from being strangled, yet strangulation is the most common cause of death in RSD cases (Yardley, 2021). As well as being a personal form of attack, strangulation is a very effective form of control, ultimately controlling whether a victim lives or dies. A common 'myth', which may influence jurors, is that it is easy to accidentally kill by strangulation: although unconsciousness may occur within seconds, death requires minutes of sustained strangulation. Yardley (2021) described how the eroticisation of strangulation of women is also evident in pornography and has been 'subsumed within a perpetrator-led BSDM narrative and is not treated with the gravity it deserves in criminal proceedings' (p.1845). In addition, a significant number of strangulations investigated result in no further action due to difficulties with evidence such as no visible signs of external injury despite severe internal damage (Santa Cruz, 2025).

Yardley (2021) found that over half the perpetrators using the RSD claimed that the 'victim initiated or asked for the activity that led to their death' (p.1858). Testimony about conversations around engaging in supposed BDSM can be presented by the defence, which serves to further cast the victim as responsible for her own death. Edwards (2016) observed that defendants can readily deploy a sexual consent narrative by misappropriating BDSM narratives 'to disguise what is essentially cruel and misogynist conduct' (p.2). This is akin to how an alleged rape victim's sexual history was often used against her in Court (Bows & Herring, 2020). Reed (2020) suggested that it may also be helpful to grant victims anonymity within these cases, and for juries to be informed about myths surrounding sexual violence to alleviate some of the trauma experienced by families and friends of the victim.

https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/rough-sex-defence-new-manifestation-misogyny

Please note: these are only a few paragraphs from a much longer report so do not reflect the article!

The rough sex defence: A new manifestation of misogyny | BPS

Derek Perkins and Rachel Kelly on the law and limited research around this form of gender-based violence.

https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/rough-sex-defence-new-manifestation-misogyny

OP posts:
ForrinMummy · 24/07/2025 20:36

Unfortunately OP, there will be one or two posters who want the Overton Window on this to be pushed in the direction of Strangulation being normal.
The RSD is abhorrent.

Causing harm by Strangulation should be on strict liability, with an extremely long sentence.

IwantToRetire · 24/07/2025 20:48

ForrinMummy · 24/07/2025 20:36

Unfortunately OP, there will be one or two posters who want the Overton Window on this to be pushed in the direction of Strangulation being normal.
The RSD is abhorrent.

Causing harm by Strangulation should be on strict liability, with an extremely long sentence.

I think I know the thread you are referring to.

And although disappointing that one or two loners were arguing for this (or justifiying to themselves why they didn't object in the personal life) I felt most who took the time to respond were not influenced in any way at all.

But the real worry if younger women who have grown up in an environment where this is presented as normal.

Funny isn't it how being more "liberal" nearly always means letting men set the agenda for what women should agree to.

OP posts:
Dumbo12 · 24/07/2025 20:58

The absolute disdain which some men feel towards women is staggering, the way this is manifested is even more appalling. It is almost as if their need to have sex with women annoys them so much that they want to kill the women who are prepared to have sex with them.
Their inability to see women as equal human beings, who they can have a mutually fulfilling sexual /romantic relationship with, must be a result of very strange disruptions in their development.

HonestRegina · 09/12/2025 12:05

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Temporaryusernamefortoday · 09/12/2025 12:20

Fractionally off topic. There is a really good episode on BDSM on the podcast ‘Was I in a Cult’.

the hosts are quite irritating but the guests discussion on the UK BDSM scene and how often it’s used as an excuse for abuse is really interesting.

Coatsoff42 · 09/12/2025 19:30

IwantToRetire · 24/07/2025 20:48

I think I know the thread you are referring to.

And although disappointing that one or two loners were arguing for this (or justifiying to themselves why they didn't object in the personal life) I felt most who took the time to respond were not influenced in any way at all.

But the real worry if younger women who have grown up in an environment where this is presented as normal.

Funny isn't it how being more "liberal" nearly always means letting men set the agenda for what women should agree to.

How is it that being cool/liberal never involves respect and care for women? It’s always more and more degradation.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 09/12/2025 19:36

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Can you see that your enjoyment of BDSM in a consensual relationship is not very relevant to the rise of the rough sex defence?

You don’t mention strangulation, which is massively dangerous. It increases the risk of stroke dramatically, even as a ‘consensual’ activity.

This article is about how the normalisation of BDSM and strangulation has widened the Overton Window so far that women who have been murdered are being portrayed as having asked for their abuse.

climbintheback · 09/12/2025 19:44

I know what I would do if the old man tried this on - a good knee in the bollocks would give him an inkling that I wasn’t keen, call me old fashioned but how does the conversation start ‘can I strangle you a bit tonight love’ or some such?

HappyNewTaxYear · 10/12/2025 10:44

climbintheback · 09/12/2025 19:44

I know what I would do if the old man tried this on - a good knee in the bollocks would give him an inkling that I wasn’t keen, call me old fashioned but how does the conversation start ‘can I strangle you a bit tonight love’ or some such?

Well that’s the problem isn’t it… the conversation doesn’t happen. Man starts the choking and woman thinks she should go along with it.

muognob · 10/12/2025 10:49

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'Must' they? Who enforces this?

Thank you for the details on the quality level of the ball gag you and 'hubby' use though, very insightful.

HonestRegina · 11/12/2025 12:05

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Holdmeclosertinydancer2018 · 11/12/2025 12:10

Dumbo12 · 24/07/2025 20:58

The absolute disdain which some men feel towards women is staggering, the way this is manifested is even more appalling. It is almost as if their need to have sex with women annoys them so much that they want to kill the women who are prepared to have sex with them.
Their inability to see women as equal human beings, who they can have a mutually fulfilling sexual /romantic relationship with, must be a result of very strange disruptions in their development.

It is the fact that women are the gatekeepers of sex. In a world where men can get anything, many cannot accept that the one thing they cannot access without our permission is sex.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 11/12/2025 12:28

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That doesn’t mean that the rough sex defence is ok. Or that supposed BDSM that results in a dead woman is ok. Do you see?

HonestRegina · 11/12/2025 12:32

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climbintheback · 11/12/2025 12:35

Has their ever been a case of a woman killing a man by strangulation during sex?

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