Would you say something regarding toilet/ changing room use?

[Benefitbettyquestion]

I'm just wondering if most people would say something if they were somewhere and a transgender individual used the womens toilets.
And would you say something to the person or to the staff member? Or maybe contact them after the fact.

I was thinking about this earlier today. I like to think if I saw a man in the female loos I would tell them they're in the wrong toilet. But who knows?

I voted "do nothing", because despite how I would feel if I encountered a male in the ladies, I wouldn't have the courage to say anything directly to him, regardless of how he presented. I hate myself for that, but I guess that's female conditioning for you. And it's why it annoys me so much when the TRAs roll out the "no-one's ever challenged me in the loos", because it completely fails to take into account the fact that many females are uncomfortable but daren't say anything. Depending on the situation I might report to a staff member, but what are they ever empowered to do?

Same goes for me.

A man in the loo i would say something

a man dressed as a woman i would tell staff

i think thats because i would assume the man had made a mistake and would be ok

and that the man in a dress might well go off on one at me

I'd tell staff now, post SC judgement, but previously I've just quietly self excluded from places where I think they're happy to throw women's safety, privacy and dignity under the bus.

There are situations where I would challenge if safety of children was at risk and no-one else was going to protect them. In that situation, I'd rather challenge a regular bloke than a man in a dress - the former may well just be lost, the latter knows full well plenty of women aren't ok with themselves or their (or other) children being unconsenting participants in his fetish.

Nice and gentle men would stay out of womens toilets.

Any man in a female single sex space is acting inappropriately

Agreed. I would report to staff. I wouldn't feel safe confronting a man prepared to do this

I’d have to say something but I’d be polite. I’d not going to be intimidated by anyone anymore.

Once, I opened the door marked ‘Women’ and saw a man in a dress, I apologised and said ‘opps, sorry, I thought it was the Ladies’ and quickly shut the door and left. He very rapidly followed me out but I was stood with my DH by then who’d been keeping an eye on our children.

I’m one of the 5% who answered ‘something else’ - by that, like others, I mean ‘it depends’! I’m physically small and vulnerable so even if I wanted to challenge I might not if alone. I would do something though! Circumstances would dictate what that might be.

There was a TiM in the changing rooms of the gym I use. 60s with male pattern baldness and male body shape - taste for costumes with ribbons and bows. Several women complained and were told nothing could be done as it was company policy (despite large notice on changing room door saying no males over the age of 8). I reported it and got the same story. He was post-op, as it happens - I know this because he flashed his partly open neo-vulva at me, a thing no woman would ever, at least in my experience, do in an open changing room.
It was an acqua aerobics class and was mixed sex, but the other men (fairly few) changed in the mens.
I stopped going on that day (not only because of this - something else I do started clashing but I had no incentive to 'fix' the clash). Presumably things will change now!?

Probably not, especially if they seemed intimidating. You never know if someone will get violent.

Unless, there was an active threat to me or other women in the room. Then I would at the very least call for help

If you are alone and the area does not have much foot traffic DO NOT challenge. I noticed a man, didn’t say a thing but he saw I knew. It was frightening.

I think the years of women being monstered over this have unfortunately taken their toll on me. I'm not sure I would say anything to the TW or a staff member - unless the TW was presenting 100% male. There's just too high a social cost attached. They and/or another woman in the loo might attack me verbally or film me.

However if he was presenting as unambiguously male, I might go outside till he left or tell a staff member I couldn't use the facilities as there was a man in there. Depends where I was, and how much faith I had in the staff backing me up.

I hate confrontation, and take my hat off braver women who take no shit.

Saw a clip of rhis massive bloke with boobs talk about how he had never been challenged so therefore he was right to use the ladies.
He was 100% male, balding, with boobs. No one was confusing him, they are just scared. They need challenging because they seem to think they do pass.

I would tell staff

He has already shown you he has no regard for girls and women and the law and my bet is that he is wanting women to challenge him either to play the victim or assert his physical dominance. Either way its manipulative and dangerous for women and girls

And its absolute nonsense they have not been challenged because they are accepted its because woman for very good reason fear challenging men

That really makes me angry

another way for men to control woman and girls

Just remembering what happened after two security staff, at least one of them female, allegedly "dragged" FIVE "transwomen" (at least one of them built like Shrek!) out of the Ladies at Butlins when a woman complained about them being in there.

The blokes kicked up a stink on social media.

The Security Staff were working for an external contractor. Butlins "sacked" them, whatever that means in these circumstances.

I hope Butlins is reviewing its "inclusive" policies in the light of the Supreme Court judgement.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5184022-butlins-skegness-removes-5-trans-women-from-female-toilets

I voted that I wouldn't do anything but after thinking about it I wish I could change my vote.

It would depend. I would have to be very, very sure. And I would probably only say something (to staff) if it happened in a place I went to regularly. I would never confront someone face to face and would just remove myself from the situation as fast as I could.

I'm happy that the law is on our side. Sure some TIMs will continue to flout the rules but they no longer have the presumption that their presence in female spaces is entirely innocent.

You can change your vote. Just click on the one you want and it will cancel out the wrong vote.