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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

10 babies are born in the UK as a result of rape every single day. The rapist is technically entitled to access.

19 replies

IwantToRetire · 13/06/2025 01:53

One brave mum told me she couldn’t remember the attack, but suffered as the baby grew inside her, attempting to take her life. Despite presenting to the world as an articulate and happy expectant mummy, she was retraumatised by the birth and re-lived this each year as her precious child celebrated their birthday.

Another shared her struggle to bond with her newborn with her health visitor. When told what had happened, the professional said she had to refer her to other services, because the assault had occurred in her home, and she was considered unable to keep herself and her children safe. They failed to recognise that she was the victim.

One mum did all she could to keep her little one safe in the small, close-knit community she shared with the rapist and his family. The child’s features were not only her daily reminder of the attacker, but worse still, she feared the resemblance could raise questions, resulting in the perpetrator demanding access to the child, with little she could do to stop them.

People don’t believe me when I share that there is nothing stopping perpetrators having access to children conceived via rape. They are horrified that a rapist can have legal rights over another human because of the crime they committed. A child conceived via rape cannot be the only proceed of crime that a convicted criminal has lifelong access to.

Full article https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/article/natalie-fleet-mp-children-born-of-rape-law

Natalie Fleet MP: 'I’m fighting for a law change that protects the children born from rape – and their mothers'

10 babies are born in this country as a result of rape every single day. Yet there is nothing stopping perpetrators having access to these babies.

https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/article/natalie-fleet-mp-children-born-of-rape-law

OP posts:
IwantToRetire · 13/06/2025 19:46

For some reason this thread was not published at the time??

So just bumping.

OP posts:
HermioneWeasley · 13/06/2025 19:51

It’s disgraceful, of course they shouldn’t have parental rights or access. FFS this isn’t difficult

Grammarnut · 13/06/2025 21:48

It's not difficult for it to be obvious rapists should not have parental rights. How has this not been fixed yet?

Magenta82 · 13/06/2025 22:23

Family law and the family court system are messed up in so many different ways. At this point I think we should probably tear the whole thing up and start again.

Thelnebriati · 13/06/2025 22:55

There have been several attempts at petitions to restrict or remove parental rights from men convicted of serious offences (including abuse against their own children) and AFAIK, only one has been resulted in a debate.

''E-petition debate: The removal of parental responsibility for people convicted of serious offences''
commonslibrary.parliament.uk/research-briefings/cdp-2022-0157/

Thelnebriati · 13/06/2025 22:57

This is the petition and the response, and I don't think a long winded version of 'courts can already restrict PR' was adequate. There really are valid questions to be asked about what is happening in the family courts, and who has influence.

petition.parliament.uk/archived/petitions/614893

MassiveWordSalad · 13/06/2025 23:03

Thanks for bringing this to our attention, and thanks to Natalie Fleet for speaking out. Ten children every day 😟 Why is it so difficult to do the obvious things, like remove parental responsibility from rapists? And from paedophiles? It’s not that long ago that rape within marriage didn’t exist, but we supposedly live in a progressive society. I certainly hope Natalie Fleet makes some progress.

TempestTost · 14/06/2025 00:10

I think parental access is usually based on what's meant to be good for the child? Rather than what's good for the parent.

So I suppose the thinking would be, this guy is the father of the child, however that came to be the case, it's an objective fact. So do we have the right to restrict the child from seeing its father.

I can think of a lot of reasons that it would be a bad thing for the child to interact with a father like that, but I do think it's a more complicated discussion than it would be from the perspective of what the father wants.

DrDameKatyDeniseInExile · 14/06/2025 00:15

I don’t disagree with the sentiment but I really wish the term ‘proceed of crime’ hadn’t been used.

DrDameKatyDeniseInExile · 14/06/2025 00:21

TempestTost · 14/06/2025 00:10

I think parental access is usually based on what's meant to be good for the child? Rather than what's good for the parent.

So I suppose the thinking would be, this guy is the father of the child, however that came to be the case, it's an objective fact. So do we have the right to restrict the child from seeing its father.

I can think of a lot of reasons that it would be a bad thing for the child to interact with a father like that, but I do think it's a more complicated discussion than it would be from the perspective of what the father wants.

Hmmm, I see what you’re getting at. It’s a bit like naming fathers on birth certificates, whatever the situation in terms of relationship between the mother and father. The birth certificate belongs to the child - it’s their history, origin, property. I can see why access to a Father, even one as abhorrent as a rapist, is potentially the choice of the child, not the mother. Otoh, the child has to be protected by those who safeguard them. It probably isn’t as black and white as it seems (and as I still instinctively feel).

CyanHelper · 14/06/2025 01:26

Legally I'm guessing the man wasn't convicted... so we need to:

  1. Believe women
  2. Convict rapists
  3. Deny rapists access to their victims, including children

Women can choose to have the children or not because we must have bodily autonomy.

ProfessorSillyStuff · 14/06/2025 03:01

Even if convicted they have rights. The child can be dragged to prison for visitation to a random that's never shown effort to that child's benefit, while the child is still too young to have a say. Their only way out is to get old enough and smart enough to realise they are having contact with their mother's abuser, that it's not normal to want nor have that, despite all that's been shown to them.

The family courts and cafcass are completely backward about this, chewing up childhoods and spitting out a garnled, manged, dehumanising mess. In spite of protective parents giving their every effort to get things back on track, nobody can hope to succeed with these forces at play.

There's plenty of time for kids to catch up with deadbeat dads when they are old enough to have boundaries and insight ie. 18yo.

ProfessorSillyStuff · 14/06/2025 03:06

Nah I just reckon you shouldn't let a kid hang out with criminals in general, even if the kid thinks the criminal is great, even if they share blood.

It's really Not Complicated, we are just gaslit to think men's rights should trump all.

Another case of using a proxy, in this case a child, to allow abusive men access to the vulnerable.

IwantToRetire · 15/06/2025 03:29

Haven't had time to comment since the delayed posting of this thread.

As others have already said, find it hard to believe that something as terrible as this has not yet had clear guidelines in terms of both the mother's and the child's protection.

For me there is no difference between whether the rapists has been convicted or not.

I dont see how any many who is violent whether domestically or sexually should have any rights to see their children.

It is groteaque.

They should not be allowed near the child or the mother.

Is at 18 a child conceived by rape wants to have some contact with their father than at that point they can make their own arrangements.

Why would anyone think violent men should be near children.

OP posts:
IwantToRetire · 15/06/2025 03:41

This gives a slightly different and probably more realistic picture of the impact on a child knowing their father is a rapist.

https://www.switalskis.com/blog/child-rape-lasting-impact

(It seems to have been an ammendment during Sunak Government that created this legal help for children. https://www.gov.uk/government/news/law-to-recognise-children-born-as-a-result-of-rape-as-victims-for-the-first-time )

young girl looking out of window

Children Born Of Rape: The Lasting Impact | Switalskis

Thousands of children are conceived from rape each year. Contact us for confidential legal advice and support.

https://www.switalskis.com/blog/child-rape-lasting-impact

OP posts:
IwantToRetire · 15/06/2025 03:43

Seems to be based on research commissioned by Centre for Women's Justice.

https://www.centreforwomensjustice.org.uk/news/2022/8/15/daisys-law-new-research-commissioned-by-centre-for-womens-justice-demonstrates-why-children-born-from-rape-should-be-recognised-as-victims-in-law

Daisy’s Law’: New research commissioned by Centre for Women’s Justice demonstrates why children born from rape should be recognised as ‘victims’ in law — Centre for Women's Justice

An evidence review commissioned by Centre for Women’s Justice has found that children born as a result of rape are at risk of suffering serious and long-term harm due to the distressing circumstances of their birth, from infancy well into later life

https://www.centreforwomensjustice.org.uk/news/2022/8/15/daisys-law-new-research-commissioned-by-centre-for-womens-justice-demonstrates-why-children-born-from-rape-should-be-recognised-as-victims-in-law

OP posts:
RufustheFactuaIReindeer · 15/06/2025 09:30

Its hard to believe that this can happen though I obviously do

its horrifying

KeepTalkingBeth · 24/06/2025 13:49

I had no idea about this. Thank you OP

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