Bikinis were made for the male gaze so isn't it about time we stopped wearing them

[Hadmysay]

https://www.tiktok.com/@ddp8792/video/7509271473366830378

They were created for the male gaze.

Im not sure what beaches you’ve been to op. I’ve been to French, Spanish and Italian beaches, you see women with all body types wearing bikinis and nobody cares!

if you feel confident in a bikini, go for it!
i am against making women cover themselves on religious grounds, that is ridiculous. Why would got be offended about us showing our hair? I’d rather be free and wear a bikini if feel like it.

I still don’t understand the premise of the OP.

Is the idea that

a) it is intrinsically wrong to dress to be attractive to men?

or

b) even if you aren’t dressing to be attractive to men, you should wear something less comfortable in case men find it attractive

or

c). Don’t be pressurised by society into wearing something you don’t want to wear just because men think it is attractive.

I would agree with c), but avoiding wearing bikinis completely seems to still allow men to dictate what women wear.

I wear a tankini or bikini at the beach because it’s easier to pee.

No man is going to be the slightest bit interested in my saggy ageing body but I am comfortable. I’m definitely a full coverage woman but I do think a bikini is so much easier!

I do wear a swimsuit for the gym pool because I think it’s weird to swim in a bikini. So I guess if I was going to be more active, swim park or the like, swimsuit would be my choice.

i really dislike thong swimwear on women or men, I struggle with seeing so much of someone’s rear but I know it’s because I’m getting older!

No one. Obviously, not sure why you said that or what point you’re trying to make. Nor why you not seeing these in southern England is relevant.

The title of the thread is

‘Bikinis were made for the male gaze so isn't it about time we stopped wearing them ‘

If women are choosing to wear them, why should they stop?

I think the link in the OP, rather than simply the title, is relevant. I haven’t watched it but someone upthread did and described what she saw.

I like bikinis, I find them more comfortable than swimming costumes and I like my stomach to get sun too.

It’s also about examine our thinking, which should never be a bad thing.

Women do plenty of non-feminist things. I do, without a doubt. I can examine my thinking and actions, and I can still make the same decision but it’s perhaps a more informed decision. And if feminism in that context is important to me, I might make a different decision.

I think this mirrors a lot of the discussions I've seen on TwiX in the past couple of weeks around women shaving their legs/arms/armpits. There's been a lot of friction over whether or not people do these things, such as wearing bikinis, for men. Quite naturally, the things women find attractive to wear are often the things men find attractive on women as well, but that doesn't mean women are doing it for men.

I've seen some very salient points about how most women don't do these for men, they shave/wear bikinis/wear makeup because they like it and want to do it, but that it should be acknowledged how these expectations began and why they've been encouraged. Just because something originated with the patriarchy doesn't mean you shouldn't do it or enjoy it for yourself, and be able to do it without judgement or male commentary, but we shouldn't forget where it came from either.

I've just had to go back and check that this is still in the FWR section. I thought it might have been moved to AIBU or the Style board. I don't recognise hardly anyone's usernames

I watched it and it’s just a man wondering why swim wear is socially acceptable, particularly for women.

He doesn’t seem to be so concerned about the social acceptability of men walking around in swimwear, but the point of the video is still basically ‘swim wear is like underwear - that’s odd!’

It’s not particularly linked to the thread title.

Best wear a tent at the beach then cos I'm not sure how much better any other form of swimming attire is any better.

I wear a bikini and I am 59. No man is going to be lusting after me on the beach. And who are you to tell me what to wear. Freedom for all women, to wear whatever they want.

That's just silly and not in the style of your usual comments

Huh?

Another woman thinking because she is in her 50"s she's unattractive and invisible.

Do you really feel that?

Green fried tomato. You are wrong. I feel great. But I am realistic too. If a man wants to perv, it’s not over a lady in her 50s. And women enjoy looking at nice male abs don’t they?

This is the second type of post I’ve seen recently that has a kind of victim blame-y / women only have themselves to blame / modesty is best / western women are sluts / men are so morally weak and pathetic that they can’t resist the female form etc vibe.

I can only speak for myself, not other women, but on a holiday beach I’ll wear swimwear very similar to my husband on bottom half but add a bikini top as I have breasts and he doesn’t ( well, not like mine). I dont like swimsuits as I feel hot and sweaty round the middle. I don’t give a toss what anyone else thinks - it’s not their concern.

In those regimes where the female form is regarded as so intrinsically evil, shocking, disgusting or tempting that the possessor must shroud herself to her discomfort and ill health ( lack of exposure for vitamin D) not to mention lack of freedom of
movement and practicality, for fear of arousing men or tempting them, it seems to me that it would be far simpler and more just if males were to be severely restricted in their movement and sight lines. After all it is their sight, thoughts and actions that are the issue, not the women’s’ bodies.

Best wear a tent at the beach. Huh?

Maybe you're responding to 'women shouldn't wear bikinis' and I'm talking about how women's revealing clothing is dictated by men.

Wasn't having a pop redtooth..

I think I look better with makeup, so I wear it. I am quite dark skinned, and I love coloured lippy to brighten my face up, always have, since being 16.
I still wear it in the house, maybe it's a vanity thing, and if it is, I aint gonna change now.😁

@Merrymouse the OP just wanted to start a discussion and run. The TikTokker asked why some women appear on public beaches in bikinis smaller than underwear which he, the TikTokker, believes he would get in trouble if he saw.
Clearly, when a woman has chosen to appear in a public place in her bikini, that's different to a man entering a changing room restricted to women, where women expect privacy from men.
However the question is not so much about permission to view, but: are their there styles of clothing which are un-feminist due to their visual effect (regardless of design intent).

Edited spelling.

Ok . On a slightly different note but still on topic.
Do you any of you think it's reasonable to go on holiday and come off the beach and then walk around the town centre in your bikini? Prance down the high street, enter supermarkets, get on local buses with your arse out? Wearing a bikini?
I've seen it from Cyprus to Indonesia .
Empowered women. Just enjoying a bit of sun on their skin, living free ,and why not! It's everyone else's problem if they're prudes right?

The argument that women shouldn’t wear clothes that might attract the male gaze would seem to lead to ‘modest swimwear’, not a one piece.

It doesn’t sound very feminist.

Depends if everyone else is wearing swimwear in these situations.

ETA: Quote fell off. You asked why we wear makeup, @Hadmysay (or @GreenFriedTomato, can't remember.)

I was going to say this is a very basic level of consciousness-raising to be attempting on FWR. But the general timbre of half the replies suggests not! Anyway:

I don't normally wear makeup. I do, though, really enjoy makeup as what you might call a creative pursuit. I love to see young women with fabulously applied makeup - and young men, though that all died out when they started thinking it turned them into women. Pity.

When I wear makeup, it's either because I just felt like doing it or when I'm entering a social situation in which face paint is coded as 'making the effort' - so, as a courtesy.

It's never to attract men, though makeup does make people look more attractive. It gives the appearance of smoother, healthier skin and highlights the features. People of both sexes have used cosmetics for this purpose since prehistory. They've also used makeup to convey tribal affiliations, social positioning and beliefs - and still do.

Fashion/style is a vast, complex topic that fascinates me. It can be a personally individual choice made without regard to society, but rarely is. Of course there's a feminist conversation to be had, as there is about every aspect of social behaviour, but it's nowhere near a simple dichotomy.

Also: bikinis? Meh. Some people are more devoted to an all-over tan than others, and it is true that sun on bare skin feels good.

The comment about men being 'empowered' to walk around with their buttocks on show made me laugh. You should come and check out the guys across the road from me, always fixing their cars with their jeans riding down 😂 Now, that is empowerment! They're free to let their arses shine out, never giving it a moment's thought.