Definitely worth a read and some good advice:
Podcasters and even some extreme influencers are all talking about men who say they girlfriends or wives don’t have to work, if they can provide for both of them why shouldn’t they?
Now ladies.. please listen to me, especially the younger ones because the main culprit of this rhetoric was only 22 and a lot of young men are being influenced in this was of thinking.
I’m not going to give you a lecture on feminism or how empowering honest hard work is. I want to tell you that I understand the lure of being a well kept woman more then you might think.
I fell for a guy who made a shjt tonne more money then I did and fucked my life up so you don’t have to.
Because it wasn’t that long before I was getting home after a 12 hour day, bitching about the new manager and he was saying “just quit babe, you have nothing to worry about”
It was magic to my ears. I worked 2 jobs, hairdressing and behind the bar at a pub and I got paid nothing.
I told rich older women how beautiful they looked by day and listened to drunk older men asking me what my tits felt like by night.
Did someone say Trophy Wife? Did someone say dream life?
And it was amazing, everything I dreamed of and more. I’d sleep in, have coffee with friends, go to the supermarket and by expensive ingredients, put the music on and have dinner ready for his return.
Yep those were the days.. 6 of them to be exact. It wasn’t even a week before I found myself crying in my bathroom wondering wtf I’d done. Listening to his tantrum over me not making the bed, he was even kicking the door screaming “wtf do we oh do all day? Your a fcking dud” (side note I’d never heard an adult call an adult a dud before)
I recently found the diary I had at the time that so I can relay exactly how I was feeling, it said, “everyone has a boss, you can’t avoid it.. you have to answer to someone, hairdressers answer to the managers, the managers answer to the bosses and the bosses answer to their 300 clients and the tax man. Everyone has a boss and now this cnt is mine”
That decision set me back YEARS.
I promised myself I’d never ever do it again.
And now, decades later I find myself in marriage that I hold all the financial collateral in, I earn the money and he takes care of the home and all the kids and helps with aspects of my work. Much like a stay at home dad.
And I’ll tell you what in order to keep things balanced that entails on my part…
My husband very rarely says no to me and so every single day I have to check in with myself and ask myself if he’s ok, Am I taking the piss? Are the kids taking the piss?
It’s knowing that no matter how many times I tell him that what’s mine if rightfully and legally his, he doesn’t see it that way. Which leaves the responsibility of fairness completely to me.
And I’ll admit, it’s hard. You have no idea how much self awareness it takes to not slip and behave just a tad arseholey when nobodies holding you to account.
I’m telling you this because, I want you to ask yourselves this question.
What men do you know who are prepared to and know how to do that? Men who are that committed to the rights, wellbeing and independence of their girlfriends or wives that they ask themselves every single day how their behavior is effecting her?
Because that’s the only way that a power imbalance won’t poison every single aspect of your life.
People are quoting the podcast bro saying that his “I love a hot girls walk” comments are a red flag.
Trust me when I say, the fact that he wants a woman to not work is all the red flag you need. Don’t walk Queen, Run.
Because the price I paid for my free lunch, made me look back at my life and those two underpaid jobs and think -
Fuck I was already living the dream.
Con