Official/credible source on why safe adults don't ask children to keep secrets

[foxpillow]

Can someone help me find safeguarding guidance that explains why safe adults don't tell/ask/promise kids to keep secrets.

I can find references to not promising you will keep disclosures of abuse etc secret. But am looking for something that states that schools should not be asking children to tell them something and promising to keep it secret from parents. Ideally also explaining why.

Am looking for a credible source - eg NSPCC, goverment source, safeguarding training organisation etc - rather than random internet articles.

Can anyone help please? It is to share with the school to highlight that they need to change practice.

Not sure if this is quite what you're after, but the working together to safeguard children document is on gov.co.uk I think. It emphasises working with parents/ carers and involving them in safeguarding processes unless there's a risk (that risk is only going to be in very specific circumstances where the child will likely already be known to social services. It is not "parents don't believe in gender identity").

https://safeschoolsallianceuk.net/

I’ve seen this site recommended.
Hope you find what you need.

There isn't one because automatically reporting things children have told you to parents is not part of any credible safeguarding training or procedure.

The principle of "working in partnership with parents" has been explicit to professionals since the 1989 Children Act with Parental Responsibility being one of the key principles. It highlights that parents have a legal responsibility to care for, protect, and raise their children, including making decisions about their upbringing. It also details on what grounds these rights may be removed by the state.
Teachers in school are taught (as a fundamental part of their safeguarding role as referrers to other agencies) never to promise confidentiality to children. It's only when you know what the issue is that an individual adult can decide, in the light of the safeguarding framework, the next steps.

There has been some appalling "guidance" in recent years, in particular from trans lobbyists, trying to persuade adults working with children that they can keep confidentiality in relation to sex change wishes / children with mental health issues etc. This has led to some schools socially transitioning children in secret from parents which is in complete defiance of the basic principle of parental rights / responsibilities. If schools keep such a secret from parents, then they are unable to safeguard / support their child effectively. Hopefully this appalling practice is coming to an end.

Apologies for the length of this response - but it's important to realise that all of this is nuanced. Generally schools would always share concerns / information about a child's mental health vulnerabilities or other challenges with parents. Social Services operate on the principle of openness with parents with schools often being told to advise parents that they've made a referral etc. The whole point of safeguarding a child is to bring into the open what is harming the child and to stop it or fix it.

There are always exceptions, which is why the principle of adults not working in isolation, not keeping secrets is critical. Safeguarding children is based on collaboration between different agencies and parents in order to keep children safe from harm. I've read (and been involved in several) Serious Case Reviews / Safeguarding Practice Reviews and one of the core findings from virtually all of them is a failure of agencies and individuals to work together.

Sorry OP - think I missed the nuance of your question. I don't think there's any advice like that. When you say "But am looking for something that states that schools should not be asking children to tell them something and promising to keep it secret from parents presumably this is based on a specific incident?
Adults are encouraged to be aware of signs of possible abuse so may well ask a specific question "What happened to your face - does that bruise hurt?" It's wrong to promise confidentiality as if I'd told that child I'd keep the answer a secret, I'd be bound to break the promise if the response was, "Daddy hit me".

So there needs to be some context - what are they promising to keep secret ?

I don't think you'd find one handy link. It's also in every link, if you see what I mean? It's foundational in safeguarding. Supporting families is how we support children. Information sharing and duty to report is threaded through all frameworks. (The adult safeguarding framework (the old one before the Care Act) was literally called "No Secrets".) But most importantly, we know that alienating children from their families is profoundly harmful and we as professionals simply have no right to enact such an extreme intervention without a robust legal process and as a last resort.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/669e7501ab418ab055592a7b/Working_together_to_safeguard_children_2023.pdf

"A child-centred approach is fundamental to safeguarding and promoting the
welfare of every child. All practitioners should follow the principles of the Children Acts 1989 and 2004. These Acts make clear that the welfare of children is paramount and that they are best looked after within their families, with their parents playing a full part in their lives, unless compulsory intervention in family life is necessary."

Illustrated guide for kids https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/657ad8e9254aaa000d050d10/An_Illustrated_Guide_to_the_Children_s_Social_Care_National_Framework.pdf