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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

The Bluestocking Women’s Pub - The Return of Salad and the Lion

1000 replies

MyrtleLion · 17/05/2025 21:17

It’s been a while since I last saw everyone!

Welcome to everyone, regulars, lurkers, newly ventured in.

A place for women to discuss whatever takes their fancy, where the bar staff are attentive gerbils, Rosy the Red Panda is available for cuddles and all sweet things have no calories and all alcohol leaves the drinker slightly merry and hangover-free.

Previous thread is here:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5326705-the-bluestocking-womens-pub-where-brains-can-exist-in-a-single-state

The Bluestocking Women's Pub, where brains can exist in a single state | Mumsnet

Welcome all. The booze here is minimally intoxicating, the food is calorie free and the staff are warm and cuddly. And if the thread title sounds nons...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5326705-the-bluestocking-womens-pub-where-brains-can-exist-in-a-single-state

OP posts:
Thread gallery
213
EdithStourton · 22/05/2025 09:09

MassiveWordSalad · 22/05/2025 08:56

Inspired by Butler, but I’ve only read bits because it’s absolute unreadable bullshit. Postmodernism can fuck off, frankly. Combined with the ‘massive salad’ a lot of MN folk like to eat 🥗

I share your sentiments about PoMo.

'Massive salad' is one of those phrases, like 'delicious vegan food' which I find instantly off-putting. Even though I like salad and have eaten some very tasty vegan food (cake, mostly).

MassiveWordSalad · 22/05/2025 09:12

EdithStourton · 22/05/2025 09:09

I share your sentiments about PoMo.

'Massive salad' is one of those phrases, like 'delicious vegan food' which I find instantly off-putting. Even though I like salad and have eaten some very tasty vegan food (cake, mostly).

Yes i know exactly what you mean. ‘Massive salad’ and ‘picky bits’ 🤮

MarieDeGournay · 22/05/2025 10:08

Does anybody mind if I occasionally post a random wordless

Flowers💙Flowers

for Swash in case she gets a moment to pop in, so she knows that we're thinking of her, as well as doing all our usual Bluestocking stuff?

It's OK if you think it's OTT, I'm speaking from the heart and from my experience of bereavements where the rest of the world seemed to be moving on very fast..

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 22/05/2025 10:15

I think that is a lovely thing to do, @MarieDeGournay.

Welcome to the Bluestocking, @MassiveWordSalad - and my deepest sympathies on your No Coffee Dictat from the doctor - I don't think I could cope if I had to give up coffee as well as sugar and some carbs (I was diagnosed type 2 diabetic last November).

I have been trying to work on my family tree, on Ancestry, but I haven't got my head around doing the work I need to do - making notes of the things that I definitely do know, so I can use those facts to check the other stuff that Ancestry keeps showing me as hints.

I started because my FIL (who thinks I am the Internet Whisperer) asked me if I could trace a relative for him. He was told a story, by his mother, when she was very old, about her father not being her father. Apparently her real father was a German salesman, working in London. Based on this information alone, FIL wondered if I could find him! Newsflash - I could not find him. So he did a DNA test, and was deeply miffed to find out he had absolutely NO German ancestry whatsoever. He thinks the test must be wrong. Sigh.

SionnachRuadh · 22/05/2025 10:23

Well, nobody who meets me thinks I'm anything other than Irish, but DNA says I'm mostly Scottish and Manx. Northern endogamy, you gotta love it.

FarriersGirl · 22/05/2025 10:34

Morning I'd love a really large coffee please and something sticky and sweet, what can you recommend?

I did my family tree a few years back and the DNA test on offer. Mostly British with a Welsh and few Irish genes. However it also showed up a few percent of genes from the northern Baltic. My DSis and I are content to interpret this as a sign of our links to the Russian royal family 😉

Boiledbeetle · 22/05/2025 10:40

FarriersGirl · 22/05/2025 10:34

Morning I'd love a really large coffee please and something sticky and sweet, what can you recommend?

I did my family tree a few years back and the DNA test on offer. Mostly British with a Welsh and few Irish genes. However it also showed up a few percent of genes from the northern Baltic. My DSis and I are content to interpret this as a sign of our links to the Russian royal family 😉

The gerbils went with what looks like a cinnamon bun

The Bluestocking Women’s Pub - The Return of Salad and the Lion
Boiledbeetle · 22/05/2025 10:45

I manged to persuade the gerbils they didn't need a boat and you could use the gang plank to get to Swash's ship. However I think the quokka, who's been making a pretty penny ferrying the gerbils around by boat has moved the gang plank.

I'll send a capybara to sort it.

The Bluestocking Women’s Pub - The Return of Salad and the Lion
MarieDeGournay · 22/05/2025 10:49

I'll send a capybara to sort it.

I confidently predict that that is now firmly fixed in my brain as the go-to response when anything goes wrong/needs fixing/falls off the wall/develops a crack/is overgrown/could do with a good tidy..

I'll send a capybara to sort it😃

lcakethereforeIam · 22/05/2025 11:02

@MassiveWordSalad jic you're not aware, on those days when a bucket just isn't enough the gerbils can also bring a bowser to your table...well actually to the window by your table. The slogan is 'when a grande isn't enough, have a bowser'. Starbucks really missing a trick there.

I see Gelateen is on table service today. I fancy Welsh Rabbit with a poached egg for elevenses and a pot of tea, ta!

Swash is never far from my thoughts ❤️

Boiledbeetle · 22/05/2025 11:04

MarieDeGournay · 22/05/2025 10:49

I'll send a capybara to sort it.

I confidently predict that that is now firmly fixed in my brain as the go-to response when anything goes wrong/needs fixing/falls off the wall/develops a crack/is overgrown/could do with a good tidy..

I'll send a capybara to sort it😃

It's a service I'd use.

The Bluestocking Women’s Pub - The Return of Salad and the Lion
Boiledbeetle · 22/05/2025 11:12

lcakethereforeIam · 22/05/2025 11:02

@MassiveWordSalad jic you're not aware, on those days when a bucket just isn't enough the gerbils can also bring a bowser to your table...well actually to the window by your table. The slogan is 'when a grande isn't enough, have a bowser'. Starbucks really missing a trick there.

I see Gelateen is on table service today. I fancy Welsh Rabbit with a poached egg for elevenses and a pot of tea, ta!

Swash is never far from my thoughts ❤️

I see the weather is nice enough to use the outside tables today.

The Bluestocking Women’s Pub - The Return of Salad and the Lion
MarieDeGournay · 22/05/2025 11:17

Clara Capybara and Daughters! My saviours! When can they pop around?Grin

inkymoose · 22/05/2025 11:22

Good morning @MassiveWordSalad. I see you are part of the way through your enormous bucket of coffee

The Bluestocking Women’s Pub - The Return of Salad and the Lion
Boiledbeetle · 22/05/2025 11:23

MarieDeGournay · 22/05/2025 11:17

Clara Capybara and Daughters! My saviours! When can they pop around?Grin

When they say five minutes they mean five minutes!

Clara has gone to hang some new curtains for Mrs Jones at No. 42. She said she'll pop back round to yours at half 12.

The Bluestocking Women’s Pub - The Return of Salad and the Lion
DeanElderberry · 22/05/2025 11:44

Just catching up with the genealogy and Foxy as a descendant of Dál Riada and the Kingdom of the Isles.

And the sneaky not-German salesman.

One of my great-grandfathers is slightly elusive, in the past he was accused (by his son-in-law) of being an old orangeman, or even Scottish, but in the 1911 census he entered himself as born in Dublin and as Catholic. Yet he had a caretaking job in a C of I church. Man of mystery.

MyrtleLion · 22/05/2025 12:03

Wow, so much has gone on since I popped my head in yesterday.

Welcome, welcome, welcome, @MassiveWordSalad , we are delighted to see you. My DSD had her blood pressure taken at a research thing we all did and her diastolic is very high. We’ve been measuring it for a few days now and suddenly it came down this morning, so we think it might be connected to her vast consumption of Pepsi Max - too much caffeine and aspartame. She cut down yesterday but her pulse is still high, though. We hope she’ll be referred to a cardiologist. It all might be connected to her extreme prematurity. It is odd how worried I am for someone I’m not related to.

I love Clara Capybara and Daughters and would love them to come round and do my en-suite renovation, lay my new patio and sort out the windows. You know how they say that things like windows last 30 years? Well, they’re bloody right. The house was built in 1995 and everything is falling apart.

My dad did our family tree over 20 years ago - the English side, as the Irish side was very difficult to find records for. Probably much easier these days. It turns out my mum’s family were quite bourgeois and lived in Nottingham where I was also living at the time. We went round to all the addresses and I was living less than a mile from my great-great grandfather’s first home. There was a picture in the paper from the 1980s of a descendant of his, who must be my fourth cousin three times removed or something. She looked EXACTLY like my mother - Uncanny.

And we discovered my maternal grandfather had had three families, instead of two. We knew about one of them as my grandfather had sent my mum a picture of his two children. But his other son and daughter knew nothing about my mum or uncle! His wife had kept it from them. This also explained why my DM wasn’t told about his death until after the funeral.

We haven’t done the DNA testing but I wouldn’t be surprised if there was some Eastern European Jewish heritage, given how much my uncle, brother and cousin look Jewish.

OP posts:
MassiveWordSalad · 22/05/2025 12:21

That’s spookily accurate 🤣

DeanElderberry · 22/05/2025 12:22

There are certainly more easily accessible Irish genealogical resources than there were 20+ years ago. For starters the 1901 and 1911 censuses (32 county) are searchable online, as are many birth death and marriage records

https://www.census.nationalarchives.ie/

https://www.irishgenealogy.ie/

MassiveWordSalad · 22/05/2025 12:24

Gosh @MyrtleLion hope your DSD gets some answers soon, that’s a bit scary. If she can cut out the Pepsi Max I imagine it would make a big difference as fizzy drinks in big quantities can play havoc with your health x

MyrtleLion · 22/05/2025 12:28

DeanElderberry · 22/05/2025 12:22

There are certainly more easily accessible Irish genealogical resources than there were 20+ years ago. For starters the 1901 and 1911 censuses (32 county) are searchable online, as are many birth death and marriage records

https://www.census.nationalarchives.ie/

https://www.irishgenealogy.ie/

Ooh, I might take a look! My paternal grandfather was born in Antrim in 1918 and has one of the most Irish names available - like Patrick Murphy but not quite. It might be interesting to find his parents. Thanks to him, I have my EU passport.

AIBU to resent Brits being allowed to use EU e-passport gates from October because right now, I can take DH through passport control in double quick time. 🤔🤣

OP posts:
FarriersGirl · 22/05/2025 12:31

Boiledbeetle · 22/05/2025 10:40

The gerbils went with what looks like a cinnamon bun

Just perfect thank you😋

DeanElderberry · 22/05/2025 12:49

MyrtleLion · 22/05/2025 12:28

Ooh, I might take a look! My paternal grandfather was born in Antrim in 1918 and has one of the most Irish names available - like Patrick Murphy but not quite. It might be interesting to find his parents. Thanks to him, I have my EU passport.

AIBU to resent Brits being allowed to use EU e-passport gates from October because right now, I can take DH through passport control in double quick time. 🤔🤣

terrible to have all the riffraff let through the e-gates, but hey!

Remember with the genealogical search if you know a person's job or approximate age it can help you, or if they were lucky enough to have a sibling with an unusual name.

SionnachRuadh · 22/05/2025 12:52

MyrtleLion · 22/05/2025 12:28

Ooh, I might take a look! My paternal grandfather was born in Antrim in 1918 and has one of the most Irish names available - like Patrick Murphy but not quite. It might be interesting to find his parents. Thanks to him, I have my EU passport.

AIBU to resent Brits being allowed to use EU e-passport gates from October because right now, I can take DH through passport control in double quick time. 🤔🤣

I find that names cluster a lot in the rural areas, and it's not always obvious how everyone in the village is related. I found a marriage record recently where the bride and groom and both of the witnesses all had the same surname. In fact the bride was marrying a man with the same name as her father.

It sounds like a Tyrone stereotype, but I bet other parts of Ireland have the same thing.

MarieDeGournay · 22/05/2025 12:52

MyrtleLion · 22/05/2025 12:03

Wow, so much has gone on since I popped my head in yesterday.

Welcome, welcome, welcome, @MassiveWordSalad , we are delighted to see you. My DSD had her blood pressure taken at a research thing we all did and her diastolic is very high. We’ve been measuring it for a few days now and suddenly it came down this morning, so we think it might be connected to her vast consumption of Pepsi Max - too much caffeine and aspartame. She cut down yesterday but her pulse is still high, though. We hope she’ll be referred to a cardiologist. It all might be connected to her extreme prematurity. It is odd how worried I am for someone I’m not related to.

I love Clara Capybara and Daughters and would love them to come round and do my en-suite renovation, lay my new patio and sort out the windows. You know how they say that things like windows last 30 years? Well, they’re bloody right. The house was built in 1995 and everything is falling apart.

My dad did our family tree over 20 years ago - the English side, as the Irish side was very difficult to find records for. Probably much easier these days. It turns out my mum’s family were quite bourgeois and lived in Nottingham where I was also living at the time. We went round to all the addresses and I was living less than a mile from my great-great grandfather’s first home. There was a picture in the paper from the 1980s of a descendant of his, who must be my fourth cousin three times removed or something. She looked EXACTLY like my mother - Uncanny.

And we discovered my maternal grandfather had had three families, instead of two. We knew about one of them as my grandfather had sent my mum a picture of his two children. But his other son and daughter knew nothing about my mum or uncle! His wife had kept it from them. This also explained why my DM wasn’t told about his death until after the funeral.

We haven’t done the DNA testing but I wouldn’t be surprised if there was some Eastern European Jewish heritage, given how much my uncle, brother and cousin look Jewish.

Your DSD seems to be on the right path, anyway - cutting down on the fizz can only do her good, BP, heart, appetite, everything, so hopefully this is the start of a healthier DSD.

She is not related to you by blood but family is about more than that, isn't it? - Ruth wasn't related to Naomi by blood and yet
“Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God”. Smile

Tracing family history is fun, and full of surprises - we found a similar geographical link to a couple of generations back, which we were totally unaware of.

I hope you have fun trawling through the online censuses, they are a wonderful resource. And can be full of family mysteries, like the Grandfather of the Three Families!

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