Why do they hate us so much?

[janos79]

Why do men who identify as trans and want to live as women not actually want to listen to women or respect women's wishes or the law that protects us?

I understand that some women support the wishes of transwomen to use women's spaces or be in women's sports but it seems the as majority of women do not and even if they did surely if even a third or a quarter of women objected to males in female spaces that should be enough to veto any man from entering.

I worked in a cinema in the past where I had to share toilets and dressing rooms with a man who identified as a transwoman and I always found it really uncomfortable. I am not saying they tried to attack me but I ended up just feeling like I couldn't really use those spaces freely unless they happened to be off those days and if you said anything it was you who ended up in trouble and I know that I wasn't the only one who felt really uncomfortable with him in our spaces.

I was really pleased that the clarification of the EA by the supreme court was now going to protect women from these situations and I hope that will be the case going forward. However when I look at the press and see the sheer anger and rage from men who are still determined to use women's spaces, when I hear how they talk about the women who object to them in their spaces and how much vitriol they seem to have I just do not understand it.

If I were a man and women were saying actually we would rather you didn't come in here it makes us uncomfortable I'd be mortified and wouldn't want to ignore their boundaries. But instead these men who say they love women so much they want to be one seem to become so angry, they call women awful sexist names, threaten rape and violence.

Why do they hate us so much?

Why do your trans friends think things have come to this pass? If they believe it's the fault of the women who said no and the SC who agreed, I would respectfully suggest they look closer to home. The tras massively over reached. It's not just or mostly about toilets. It's twaw, which is obvious nonsense. It's the ideology being taught to children. It's allowing men, any man, into our changing rooms, into our sports. It's allowing rapists to be called women and locked up with women. The words we used to describe ourselves being taken or labelled bigoted. We were gestators, menstruators, bleeders, vagina or uterus havers.

If they pushed for any of that and now they're fearful because as grown-ass adults they can't go to the toilet, tell them to find a mirror in another room and take a good long look in it.

Jealousy. They know they aren't women, they wish they were and they hate us because we are what they can't be. Not all, there are decent TW, but the vile ones.

Never mind all the women who have been scared because your friends have been in female bathrooms. I doubt they "clearly look like women". Very few men can truly "pass". And even then, they still don't belong in female spaces.

They really don’t like women very much, I’ve noticed it with gay men too, there’s nothing in it for them to take women’s feelings into consideration, they see women as existing to facilitate their wants and needs, not as individual people in our own right.

Then they shouldn’t have put themselves in this situation, should they? They’re men, they can pee with men, no one will bat an eyelid in 2025 at a man in make up.

I've noticed that as well, I think if you're a man who is attracted to men you must live a very male centric life, and women and their concerns a probably not a blip on your radar most days. Which is understandable because as a straight women the concerns of gay men didn't come up on my radar that often either.

My concern is when gay men raise to a position of authority, where they have to make decisions that affect people, including women, their blind spot might lead them to making male centric decisions.

Although that's not to say gay men shouldn't be allowed to raise to such positions of course.

A flavour of domestic abuse to be played out in the public realm, en masse. Desire for power, control, dominance, competition, revenge, lack of emotional intelligence and regulation skills. I’ll never forget Shon Faye’s “Enjoy ur erasure”.

Because we are everything they want to, but can never, be.

They are male though, not women so its fine for them to use the male bathrooms, men will just have to learn to be more tolerant of gender non conforming men in their toilets, why does the burden always have to be on women? Why is it always us who have to give up our rights for these men? Why should I and other women have to sacrifice my comfort and dignity so he can pretend he's a woman when he isn't?

It is all well and good for you to say you trust your friends but even if a man who wishes he were a woman is not a direct threat he is an indirect threat if he attempts to use women's spaces and assume women's legal protections. If he does this they any man can do it because "woman" is now a mixed sex category. The law now has clarified that men who wish they were women are not and cannot be which is a positive thing and yes it does mean that now men, including your friends who are trans must use the male spaces and stay out of women's spaces. I am so relived about this because it was awful to be forced to share with a man and in the end it just forced women to not use their own spaces. Why should the discomfort of these men be more important than the dignity and discomfort of women like me and the other women I worked with?

I appreciate you feel for your friends but men, including your trans friends now need to deal with any discomfort they feel and perhaps learn some self acceptance for their own male being however they wish to dress. Other men can also learn to accept a man who wears make up and dresses, that would be real progress.

The worst thing is that after the Supreme court ruling that made me so happy and relieved these men who wish they are women are just so angry and shout abuse at women, they piss on statues of women and make signs to say they wish they could kill women who object to them in their spaces. Your friends might not hurt anyone but many of these men are aggressive and dangerous if a woman does try to say no to them in person.

If you have any empathy for women, real women then perhaps try to talk to your male friends who want to be women and explain to them why it is wrong for them to try to claim legally to be women and why it is so wrong of them to try to come into our spaces and that it is now time for other men to be kind to men like them. If they feel uncomfortable then surely they will understand how much more uncomfortable and afraid they make real women. If they do not see this they they are selfish and misogynist.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Edit to say, that's not that I think anyone should get attacked for how they look. But if you other yourself, you are creating difficulties in your life, and that's your problem to solve.

They should take it up with stonewall and gendered intelligence and all the organisations that told them they could have women’s stuff instead of campaigning for third spaces. Don’t blame women for being pleased we’ve got the stuff back that was stolen from us.

Why do they hate us?

Because men are mostly selfish and arrogant and entitled, and, for a lot of them, this is the first time they have ever been told no.

No they can't invade our spaces, no they are not women, they will never be women, no they are not entitled to carry out mammograms or use the ladies loos or take women's swimming titles.

And they really really don't like it !!

I worked a man who transitioned back in the 90s. There was none of this aggression, no demands, no intrusion, he simply wished to be left alone to live his private life. And he was treated with quiet respect as a result. This is quite different.

Why do men who identify as trans and want to live as women not actually want to listen to women or respect women's wishes or the law that protects us?

Because many men deep down disdain or even hate women (as a group). Putting on a dress doesn't change this.

They don’t care about women’s rights, opinions or feelings because TRAs are not women - they’re a bunch of men who’ve been told no, and it’s a word they’re not used to hearing.

It’s a club they’ve been told they can’t join, so they want to kick the doors down, piss in the corners and set fire to the whole fucking thing, until the only ‘women’ left have cocks and balls.

It’s this very contradiction that shows them most clearly for who they really are. If transwomen are women, they should only want what’s best for women, which includes safeguarding sex-based rights and protections. Those people obviously exist within the trans community, but unfortunately it’s become too frightening for anyone with a rational point of view to speak out, or be heard over the testosterone-fuelled rage of the men’s rights activists who’ve railroaded the whole debate and claim to be acting in the interests of kindness and inclusivity for all. Except biological women, obviously. Those bitches should just STFU and sit down.

Exactly. If your average woman knew she was not wanted in a place and her presence made others uncomfortable for understandable reasons I’m sorry but the vast majority of women would certainly not then press on demanding access. We just wouldn’t. The behaviour of TRAs is the exact opposite of how actual women do behave.