If it is happening in Sweden it is also happening here

[nottellingyoucantmakeme]

Why are males being employed to provide care for vulnerable women?

We all know that predatory men are drawn to any opportunity that provides them with victims. So why is there no safeguarding rule to say that only females provide care to elderly females? If a small female carer is not strong enough and needs help with certain physical tasks then any man who is sent out with them should never be left alone with the female client.

Surely there are enough old men in need of care, and enough women in need of work that we don't ever need to send lone men out to enter the private homes of lone women?

I was sexually abused for years as a child, and now that I am 68 and already quite frail due to chronic illness I do not relish the prospect of becoming the target of another such man.

What can we do to prevent it happening?

https://www.spiked-online.com/2025/04/27/swedens-elder-rape-scandal/

That was an incredibly difficult read. Those poor women.

Absolutely horrific. When my beloved mum was placed on end of life care, she was moved to a nursing home, which I visited twice, spoke to all the staff, and checked their policy with regard to agency bank staff. I was very happy with them, but still stipulated that as my mum was now unable to speak for herself, a female carer must be present at any time a male was in the room.They obliged without any issues, and we’re very understanding.

I didn't actually know you couldn't ask for females for personal care as a woman until very recently. A relative of mine (not elderly), has recently become physically disabled due to an illness and they are sending male careers alone with very little English. I'm honestly horrified. I thought women had a right to female personal care and dignity but no, apparently not. I swear I will end my life rather than end up in a care home.

A young male carer in Fife was disowned by his family after assaulting an elderly lady in a care home here. I'll try to find a link.

You need to sign up (for free) to read the entire article, so I'll link plus copy and paste.

https://www.centralfifetimes.com/news/24485197.ballingry-familys-heartbreak-court-punishment-hold/

HE FAMILY of a woman who was abused in a Ballingry care home have spoken out after her abuser's recent court appearance left them feeling as though he was "dictating" his own punishment.
Liam Stark, of Lochgelly, was sentenced to 300 hours of unpaid work at Kirkcaldy Sheriff Court in February after the 22-year-old videoed, mocked and abused an 88-year-old dementia patient at Benore Care Centre.
He was employed as a senior carer but no longer works there.

Now, five months after admitting to charges of assault and breach of the peace, he was back in court last week where he admitted having only completed 51 hours.

The victim's son told the Times: "I never knew anything about it until a friend of mine said you better go get yourself a read of the paper. It knocked the wind from me when I saw he wasn’t even doing his punishment."
While the family was unaware of his recent court appearance, they have heard that his unpaid work order has been revoked due to issues with his mental health.
He continued: "I’m reading that it’s down to his mental health but what about our mental health? There’s nothing wrong with his mental health when you see on Facebook he's having parties.
"He seems to be dictating when and if he’s doing his punishment. He should have been jailed in the first place and then we wouldn't have had any of this carry on.

"It’s just unbelievable that he can decide when he gets his punishment; 'These couple of weeks don’t suit me but I'll revisit it in three months and see what like I am then.'
"That’s just shocking, where’s the justice in that? There’s no justice."
The family was left disappointed in February when the sentence was given but after finding out that Stark's work order would be revoked and revisited again in three months time, it felt like another blow.
"The punishment was a joke in the beginning but it seems to be getting worse and worse," the man said.
"Five months, and he’s only done about 16 per cent of his sentence.
"We thought that the court case was finished, we weren’t happy with the sentence but you’ve got to get on with it and then you see this back in the newspapers again, that he’s not doing his punishment, and it’s hard to accept.

"Now it’s going into the winter months and he’s going to be where he was with the 50 hours. Who knows, it might be held over again.
"There’s no punishment there for him, we feel like he is dictating when and if he is punished. It’s unbelievable, we thought that if he didn’t attend, he would be jailed. We know that the judge's hands are tied but it’s just unbelievable for the victim, me and my family.

"It’s not to run around how you feel and how your lifestyle works, it’s a punishment - well it’s supposed to be a punishment.

"Our mental health has always been affected by, could we have done more to protect her? Then we keep living through this again, he keeps coming back with more stuff in the newspapers. You think you’ve made progress and then you’re knocked back to square one."

I think this is a huge elephant in the room in the whole debate about equality. People who argue that each sex should do more of the jobs traditionally reserved for the other sex - blind to the fact that there are huge safeguarding risks around sending men into care work. I personally don’t see a way around it and for that reason I don’t agree with pursing it as a policy objective. We must instead work on ensuring that care work is recognised as valuable and improving pay and prospects for the women who do it.

An earlier article - available in Press Reader.

https://www.pressreader.com/uk/central-fife-times/20240229/281565180706948

The fact most of the assailants are recently arrived migrants is bound to get the OP 5lagged off as a "racist."

I have wondered about this, too. And not only in care homes. What are women doing working in men's prisons (attack on warders last week by one of the Manchester Arena bombers)? This does not sound at all safe. Also there are several instances of women warders becoming romantically entangled with inmates - surely a dangerous idea.

Oh yes I was repeatedly attacked by male carers. We tracked it. One in four male carers assaulted either me, my late partner, or women carers working with them. It's absolutely rampant. I was threatened, beaten, and sexually assaulted many times, and I'm not disabled or frail - I just lived there too.

Some of the men they send are absolutely frightening weirdos.

The attitude that all men are predators and all women are victims is creating a huge burdon for the young men of today

It's not an attitude it's just what happened!!

The perpetrator in the case that I mentioned above - where a young male carer posted online his sexual humiliation of an elderly woman with dementia - was born and brought up in the same community as his victim.

No. The behaviour of young men like Liam Stark is the cause of any burden.

https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/fife/4900142/fife-carer-assault-videos-stark/

Why are comments like this always trotted out to try and shut down conversations between women?

The attitude that men's burdens matter more than abuse victim's rights is creating a huge burden for all women and girls of all time.

I think we need to think broader about how we protect those being cared for. Various scandals show it isn't just men. We need to protect privacy but technology should also be used to ensure that care is monitored. My mum is in care and there are two fantastic male carers with 'ethnic' names (i've no idea of their background or immigration status - their english is good and they may have been born here) They are kind, compassionate and quick to respond. But I am still aware that it is not uncommon for those with ill intent to come across like that to create opportunities. Perhaps CCTV or body cams could help - I don't know what the answer is but we need to be asking the questions.

Sickening. I would rather end my life than end up in a so called care home. What the fuck is this world coming to?!

I think it’s a combination of: they are cheap to employ, people are afraid of being accused of racism if they report them, the low societal and economic ‘value’ of elderly women, a changing society where family bonds are looser and also liberalism. 50 years ago it would have been considered horrific to provide care for a elderly woman by an unknown man. Now it’s perfectly fine because you know that was an outdated view and we are so modern. But human nature doesn’t change. And different cultural attitudes to women as well - if I’m going to call a spade a spade.

@nottellingyoucantmakeme " So why is there no safeguarding rule to say that only females provide care to elderly females?"

on a practical level, certainly in this country there is a shortage of carers and for some people, turning down a male carer will mean no care visit that day.

My mum has had a couple of stints in a care home. There were men working there but not for personal care for anyone who wasn't okay with a man. We now have agency staff going into her home, but I don't think they would send a man. However, if they had a situation where there was no choice, I imagine it would have to be me who stepped in.

I don't think you can make a blanket rule.

You can say you only want female carers but in reality the care manager will ring you up over and over and over pressuring you to make an exception and will punish you for being difficult if she's got a rota problem. Nobody can fight the Rota.

Well, you can fight it, for sure, but you never get to stop fighting it. And there's no point reporting anyone - that will just get you dropped by the agency - so you just have to wait for them to do something so bad they get fired by themselves, which they usually do. Can't emphasise enough the absolutely unhinged behaviour of some carers.

Care agencies most definitely do send male carers into the homes of elderly and highly vulnerable women. It happened to my elderly aunt, despite her complaints. She had completely unknown men knocking at her door late at night saying they had come to put her bed. It is absolutely outrageous. And yes, these men were often migrants and their English was limited. Bear in mind that these carers may be the only human beings an elderly disabled person sees all day and they cannot hold a decent conversation. My aunt had family contact regularly, but others aren’t so lucky.

It’s shocking, but also another example of predatory men seeking out jobs where they have access to vulnerable people.

The solutions are the usual safeguarding steps - checks, supervision, chaperoning and respecting the wishes of the person being cared for.

Trouble is, the whole care sector is so stretched that the gaps in safeguarding become chasms. We were very fortunate for Mums at home carers in that the one young male carer of Indian descent was very kind and sensitive and actually approached me to say he’d noticed that mum wasn’t comfortable with him doing pad checks and that we should request female carers for all visits, not just ones designated for bathing. She’s now in a fantastic care home, and one key reason it is so good is that the owner pays and treats their staff well. There is very little staff turnover, and a lovely family atmosphere.