To get my self tied in philosophical knots

[Temporaryusernamefortoday]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-14608691/mother-cliquey-whatsapp-group-school.html#

While I imagine there would be far more traction for this post in AIBU, I think the conversation would be less nuanced so I bring my quandary to you you lovely nest of vipers. Not sure what to think about the below, please help me unpick my somewhat muddled thinking.

I was browsing this morning and came across the above ‘article’. For those who don’t wish to click it’s a women ages early 43 dyed blonde hair, suggest of an ex glamour model past/pervious for selling rage bait articles stating that she is bullied and excluded in school WhatsApp groups and that they should be banned. So far so inane.

The whole thrust of the article is women are mean and bully me, and while the first comment on the article is sensible (pointing out that one of her stated incidents of bullying is not in fact bullying) the rest of the comments descend into ‘women are bitchy’ ‘women are jealous’ ‘women don’t get on with other women’.

My immediate thought on reading the article was ‘I bet she is so annoying, anlways playing the victim and acts the Pick Me’, another sexist trope. This got me thinking, where does this all come from?

There are no/fewer equivalent perceptions of men as unable to get on with other men etc but conversely I refuse to accept it’s a nature thing ergo it must be a socialisation thing?

What do people think.

Maybe part where it comes from is that unpleasant men and boys are more likely to deal with disagreements and do their bullying physically rather than with words? Of course on SM (and before it), nasty men can be truly vile in words too, in ways worse than ‘bitchiness’.
And the other is that women are ‘supposed’ to be nice and nurturing.

Googling "Carla Belluci" is interesting. She seems to be a professional contrarian. I'm not sure there is anything noteworthy here.

Why do you have to believe it's a social thing? Where do social things come from if not biology? If men and women were the same ie same biology, wouldn't they be the same? Sure, individuals are different and can range vastly. But as a collective...

But I didn't click on the link

Misogynists hate it when women get together. And what in men would be called discussion or legitimate criticism is called bitching or jealousy in women. Also, women are under no obligation to like or support other women just because they are women.
I’ll go and read the article now!

Men are just described admiringly as “not suffering fools gladly”

I also think that KJK tweeted something this week about groups of women being women’s worst enemy. I didn’t agree with that either.

There's quite a bit of evidence to show women are more hurt by social exclusion and use social exclusion as punishment more than men do. Possibly an evolutionary thing when men were out fighting each other and hunting and women were child rearing in a community?

Kids at school get excluded, called names and are physically assaulted all the time and nobody writes news articles about that being problematic

You lost me when you referred to posters on Mumsnet as a ‘nest of vipers’.

In the OP’s defence, it’s what a lot of us call ourselves. See also Rights Hoarding Dinosaurs, and Gargoyles of Beelzebub and Conspicuously Law Abiding Women — we call ourselves the supposedly horrible things that others have called us.

@AltitudeCheckcould you
link to the research, please?

You missed the ‘lovely’? We’ve been using that phrase, affectionately, for donkeys’ years for MNers in general and FWR in particular.

I'm not sure where I initially read it but was reading around this for my own interest but here's some Google results similar to what I had read;

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10480944/#:~:text=Conclusion,socially%20included%20or%20control%20women

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38956123/&ved=2ahUKEwiIhNff-9mMAxVwX0EAHSKFICUQFnoFCIgBEAE&usg=AOvVaw0LhoR6u4e5uUKBbs6QZpTA

https://phys.org/news/2024-07-women-social-exclusion-explores-complicated.html

https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/mean-girls-and-queen-bees-females-under-threat-of-social-exclusion-respond-by-excluding-others-first.html