Abused by your child - series of reports on BBC Radio 4

[IwantToRetire]

As part of the World at One radio 4 has been hearing from parents who have suffered physical abuse from their children.

And them trying to access support.

I wasn't able to listen to all of them, but was sure they said they would be made available as a series online.

But I cant find anything but this, which I think must be an edited down version. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0l26rmn

Did anyone else hear these reports?

Does anyone know if this is the only recordings they have made available?

I can only find a 37 minute programme on BBC Sounds

Thanks. Is it the link I posted in the OP?

It might be that as it was a segment within WATO, over 4 days. So if each one was between 8 - 10 minutes.

When it started I thought it was going to be about, usually the mother, facing an aggressive and misogynistic son.

But I think all of the personal stories were about families that were trying to cope with children recognised as neurodiverse. But in the instances I heard, were about boys who as the got older were a physical threat. Again usually to the mother. One woman only got support after other adults saw her being attacked by her son.

If you go to BBC Sounds and search “abuse” it comes up

I can't help with the BBC programme, but somebody already has I see.

If you google 'child to parent abuse uk', OP, there's a lot of info going back 5 or 6 years at least, it was already being flagged as a 'hidden' problem back then. It falls between two stools because it is partly domestic violence, and partly a disturbed child in need of support. 100% DV to the victim, of course, but obviously in a highly emotional context if it's your own child.

Although I know there are exceptions, when I see 'child' I read 'son' and when I read 'parent' I read 'mother', because I suspect that behind the neutral terminology, this is another form of violence that is usually directed towards women.

I know that sometimes the violence is from a child - a son in the two cases I know of - who has complex intellectual disabilities, and who lashes out in frustration at not being able to communicate. That just caused bruised shins when they were little, but now they are big strong teenagers, it's black eyes and broken bones and the danger of even more dangerous injury.

Obviously these are special cases of child to parent abuse, and are separate from the wilful assaults.

Thanks for various responses.

It was more that WATO said these segments would be compiled into a series.

And its not that it hasn't been covered before, but because (as I am sure in many other areas) no one part of social services or education will say it is anything they have responsibility for.

And from the segments I heard it was not exclusively, but mainly boys who initially families (the mother) felt they could care, be responsible for. But as they got older this became clear they couldn't.

I dont like, or necessarily understand the word neurodiverse.

But if (as the mention of earlier BBC programmes suggest) the issue of older boys on the way to becoming men, are a danger to their parents, what is the solution.

Or is the state just waiting for someone to be hospitalised or even killed.

I just wondered, as the series had been made as part of a news programme, had they for instance tried to interview a relevant Minister?

It is a huge (within the world of families with children with learning disabilities) and generally hidden problem. Both my sons are autistic and have learning disabilities, in special school. Although they are generally even tempered they can lash out, usually as a result of not being able to communicate. We are ‘lucky’ in the we gave some support from the disability social care team but many do not. It is also very difficult to talk about as it is sometimes perceived that you face failed as a parent.

Thanks for sharing this.

And am glad you are getting some support.

But it almost as those though who could or should give support feel able to not interact as they assume the parents will continue on their own however hard it gets.

If as suggested by the fact there have been programmes about this before, its sort of frustrating that a news programme hasn't done more than just say look at this, isn't it awful.

Some of the cases of child-to-parent abuse involve children with problems, but that shouldn't mask the fact that some of it is a form of domestic violence, and as I said in my previous post, I wouldn't be surprised if the majority of cases are sons attacking mothers.

Yes I said this up thread.

But the radio series was about children (the majority male?) accepted as having "issues" ie a diagnosis, but that the state then says it is up to the family to cope with. Even when it can often mean sudden outburts of violence, and that too often that meant the mother being subjected to violence and expected to tolerate that and also somehow provide the child with support to try and calm them down.

But as we know women as mothers, grandmothers and sisters have been subjected to male violence because of misogyny.

Which is different from a woman suffering male violence because they are a carer to someone who has no control or can on occassion lose control.

(One of the personal stories was in fact about a woman who was regulary the subject of violence from her adult daughter.)