Do you "feel like a woman"? What does that mean?

[Fingernailbiter]

I have always said I think it’s bollocks that everyone "knows instinctively" what gender they are, with no reference to learned stereotypes, so that a male could feel that his "authentic self" is female/a woman. I’ve always said I know I’m a woman because I’m an adult human female, but I just "feel like" a person.

But someone has said to me what about many women's instinctive longing for a baby of their own? I couldn't think of a good answer to that. I certainly longed for babies and felt very "maternal" when I had them. I know not all women feel that way, and I know some men really want children of their own, but there’s no denying that maternal urge. Could it be true that that (a hormonal thing?) counts as "feeling like a woman"?

I don’t ‘feel’ like a woman but I know I am one because I was conceived as a female zygote, gestated as a female foetus, was observed female at birth and raised as a girl. After reaching the age of majority I became a woman.

The word ‘woman’ seemed like a big title to fill so I avoided it as much as possible until I was 30ish.

I wish someone had told me that ‘woman’ just means ‘adult human female’ and says nothing about my personality, only my biology.

I make sure to tell my own daughter exactly that.

I am not stereotypically female. I have always had short hair, I never wear make up, heels or skirts. My personality traits are traditionally associated with masculine characteristics. My closest, dearest friends are male. I am most comfortable with men. And yet, never have I wondered if I am female/a woman. Or if I feel like a female/woman. I just am. Inherently I know I'm female/woman.

I'm sure the conversation has moved on and I haven't rtft but my husband is very keen for another baby whereas I am not. Unfortunately that desire on his part and lack of desire on mine doesn't translate into us swapping sexes.

I've never had a problem with my body, I think I'm a woman because I have a female body. But the gender side of things I've always felt was pushed on me. I conform to a large extent because my life is better if I do, not because I feel an affinity for the feminine bits of our culture over the male bits. I would baulk at someone saying I identified as female gender. I do not.

I've never wanted children. This was one of the first 'deep' conversations I had with my H. Thankfully he was on board! I feel like a woman because I am. You don't need kids to be a woman.

I mean I'm definitely more of a woman than my predatory 'lesbian' neighbour (basically a guy with a beard in a tight fitting dress). Despite them trying to organise girly nights out and pyjama parties and talking at length about their PMT and how they have child bearing hips.

Same. I feel quite sad for my niece (nephew now...) that they couldn't just be a tomboy like I was without actually switching their whole identity. It all seems so much more complicated now.

Ummm thst poster was being sarcastic. The /s means sarcasm.

No one can feel like a woman because feelings relate to emotions. You are or are not.

So what is this question? - do you identify with certain feminine characteristics and female only experiences?

And for the feminine/masculine characteristic spectrum anyone can fall anywhere and it can change depending on situation and circumstance. It’s not necessarily character.

I wish our common day use of the English language was more precise - because language, thoughts and actions are so important.

Thank you to those who made the high court clarification clear for those who were trying to turn woman into a feeling.

I feel like I look like a super model. Spoiler: I don’t. Sometimes, when I want to go for a run after dark in our local nature reserve, I try to feel like I’m a man so I don’t have to worry about being r*d. Spoiler: it doesn’t work because the local predators are bigots and didn’t get the memo. There isn’t any such thing as feeling like a woman. Or feeling like a man. There’s feeling like you want a baby while being a woman, for sure. There’s also feeling like you’d rather be the opposite sex because of a perceived advantage. For women and girls that’s likely to be in the realms of status and physical security (perceived reduced vulnerability to sexual abuse). For men it’s probably almost always something to do with sexual fetish, or childhood neglect issues (perceived idea that women are cared for/protected more than men).

Yes it is sad. I've heard alot of autistic people can feel this way. I'm autistic myself and can't relate. I'm Catholic also, and feel this has been a protective factor in feeling secure in my identity.

I don't 'feel like a woman', I am a biological woman.
'Feeling' like something doesn't make you that something.

I don't have any special sense of being a woman, I just am. I was a girl who liked train sets and space rockets as well as my dolls, and thought a lot of kids' stories were soppy. Not much has changed. Never felt broody and didn't want or have children. I exist, and I'm female, and that's it.

The counter argument to this thread is that the PP are not trans so there's no mismatch between their body and gender making itself known to them. Bollocks of course.

No more than I feel 5 foot 4 or Caucasian.
I just “am”

I think certain experiences have made me feel aware of being female in a more conscious way (the obvious, mostly, like pregnancy, childbirth, miscarriage, motherhood, sexual assault, debilitating period pain). But I don't think that's the same as "feeling like a woman" in the sense that people who use that phrase would mean.

People can be trans.

What this means is that they wish they weren’t their sex (they may be distressed by it) and want to be the other sex. They may make sense their thoughts and feelings by attributing them to some inner knowing, but that is false attribution.

Saying I feel like a woman is no different to saying I feel I have green eyes.

Funny, I was thinking about this the other day. I've always felt a bit different because I don't feel like a woman and def didn't feel like "a girl" when I was a kid. Didn't feel like a boy either and I don't feel like a man. Like OP said, I feel like a person; a human being.

As for maternal instincts I think I love children in general. I have always been drawn to them and I really enjoy their company (when I'm not tired😅) so I'm glad I'm a female or I would get suspicious looks. Well, having two of my own clearly helps. My dad was/is the same; has always felt very at ease with children so I don't think it has got anything to do with maternal instincts.

When I clearly don't feel like a female is when friends talk about shopping/fashion/hair-makeup,home decoration. It bores me to death. When I clearly don't feel like a male is when they talk about cars/sports.

I know that I'm a woman because I have got a female body. I think all the rest is cultural. And I don't feel the need to define myself as binary or whatever. It's just attention seeking bollocks. I'm a woman who doesn't share many typical culturally induced female interests.

Thank you @Fingernailbiter for this thread. I feel less different knowing I'm not the only one.

I feel like a woman.
Period pains have woken me and the inevitable flood-gush as I stand from getting up out of bed makes me feel like a women as well. Not to mention the sting of my HRT patch when I rip it off to change it twice weekly. That makes me feel like a woman too. And sore breasts (thanks HRT) - that makes me feel like a woman as well.

I won’t go into the big pile of clothes that need washing and drying and then ironing and the food shop and the dinner that I’m making today.

In a grump today clearly. A very womanly grump.

I think it’s the same way that zebras know they are zebras and lions know they are lions. Fear is the factor.

Now, a weaker lion still will get attacked by a stronger lion, but a lion’s got a fighting chance against another lion. A zebra doesn’t. A zebra can run, put up a fight, but ultimately a zebra knows it’s dinner for a lion.

I’m a woman. I’ve always known that I am a prey animal. That fear and knowledge is inherent to my reality as a woman and has kept me alive into middle age.

I’m not saying lions don’t fear bigger lions, but they are not dinner and that knowledge is inherent in them too.

Being a physically weaker lion doesn’t make a lion a zebra. Not wanting the hunting responsibilities of a lion and envying the grazing and socialisation of zebras doesn’t mean a lion should have been a zebra all along.

A lion may wear a zebra’s stripes but everyone knows they’re a lion because we are all risk adverse by design and have evolved to recognise the difference.

I’m female. My feelings about it are irrelevant in terms of being a woman. I struggled to get pregnant with my two DDs and that was incredibly hard. Like all female mammals, most of us have a very powerful drive to reproduce and nurture. Some women don’t and that’s absolutely fine as well.

I don't think I've ever had to consider feeling like a woman. I just am. Having boobs, periods, etc in a body that I was born with is probably the defining reason I feel that. I've never given it a second thought.

Feelings are not static, anyway. They shift and change continually.

When people say they have a 'gender identity' it suggests an identity is a permanent thing. A fixed state. In this respect a 'gender identity' is not a feeling, but more a sense of a constant 'self'. A centre. A point of integration......or something like that. But then the 'self' is not an unchanging fixed state either...it is the sum of all our experieneces and and our response to those experiences.

Nobody can really say, or describe, what a female 'gender identity' is because it would be unique to each and every person. The only constant reality is the reality of the female body...that is the only enduring condition that makes one female/ a woman/a girl. All else is shifting and imaginal.

How horrible (your neighbour). Actually "pathetic" would be a better word.

I have absolutely no idea what it means to “feel like a woman”. I am a woman’s because I am an adult human female.

The concept of an internal gendered feeling that is at the same time a social construct is meaningless to me. The computer says no.

In the UK, the phrase "I feel like" conveys different meanings, but none coherently align with the statement "I feel like a woman":

Emotional States (e.g., "I feel sad"): This refers to internal feelings. Using "I feel like a woman" here is incoherent, as "woman" is not an emotion.

Physical Sensations (e.g., "I feel cold"): Sensations are tied to bodily experiences, but being a woman doesn’t inherently produce a specific sensation. Biological sex influences physical traits and hormones, which shape bodily experiences, yet sensations remain highly individual, influenced by personal, social, and environmental factors.

Thoughts or Opinions (e.g., "I feel that now isn’t the best time"): This denotes a viewpoint. "I feel like a woman" doesn’t fit, as "woman" is not an opinion or belief.

Desires or Cravings (e.g., "I feel like an ice cream"): This expresses a want. Using "I feel like a woman" in this sense is inappropriate at best.

Simile (e.g., "I feel like I’ve been run over by a bus"): Here, "I feel like a woman" could be used by a man to compare his experience to actions or emotions he associates with societal or personal notions of femininity. “I feel like a right lemon’ is another simile.

In short, the phrase ‘I feel like a woman’ , in almost all circumstances is incoherent.