Teacher told not to use gendered language

[Pregante]

In a teaching observation this month my department head noted as a point for improvement that I should try not to use gendered language when addressing the class. I use boys & girls or ladies & gents depending on the age of the students. She advised this was in order not to potentially offend any trans children. She also mentioned this to some of my other colleagues and gave them the same advice.

I care about my students and would never humiliate anyone. Is this just the norm now? What do I use instead?

This is what I try to be. I want my own children to have teachers like this who want the best for girls (and boys!) without being distracted by micro-politics!

Thank goodness I'm retired. About 9 yrs ago, I had a class of S2/Y9 pupils complaining to me that I was sexist when I said "Ladies and gentlemen, you may go."

[I'm not quite sure what had happened. I think that there had been a visit from that LGBTQ+ Youth Scotland group...the one where the CEO has finished up in prison?]

I genuinely didn't understand what they were complaining about. I expressed my bewilderment and then finished up saying "Ladies, gentlemen, space aliens and anyone else not included...you may go."

It finished up being a game with that class. I saw them just before lunch and I'd have to guess what they were that day: unicorns, gryphons, monsters...

I'd probably be reported to the GTCS nowadays.

Boys and girls, children, everyone. All seem like fair expressions to me!
I would be really upset at using any language that might endorse/encourage "trans" children. Its so abusive and not something I want to be part of even in the smallest of ways. Several times now Ive read about young children not even really being aware of the phrase "boys and girls" - thats so wrong.

Obviously I wouldnt want to get into trouble as a teacher but equally I wouldnt want to do anything to endorse either. Tricky!

I'll just add that I did a bit of supply last year and the year before.

One time, a third year/Y10 boy complained because I'd said "Ladies and gentlemen", but I was ready for it.

"I checked the register when I came in. Everyone in the class is marked as 'male' or 'female'. No-one is listed as 'non-binary' or any other gender."

That one boy was arguing with his classmates as they left. "There are 64 [?] genders!"

"No there arenae!" retorted one of the girls.

In another school, a boy claimed to be Xe/Xim. His classmate retorted "Aye! And mine are 'Yer-slash-maw!'"

I do think that the tide is turning.

Using the word “she” to refer to a female is normal. Using the word “they” to refer to a female is not normal. Knowing the names of pupils is a good skill. But it makes no sense never to use “she” when referring to females.

Using they/them is perfectly normal in an educational setting.

I don't mind, it's no skin off my nose.

As I said, you get used to it quick enough, so much that it feels weird using she/he in normal conversation now.

It is easy to use non-gendered language in teaching and addressing large groups, i've done it for years.
Mostly because I hate being addressed as "guys" which is NOT gender neutral.

I would be cross if it was framed as "not offending teans kids" rather than "it's easier"

Deeds, not words, indeed.

Our over reliance and fascination with linguistics, as a species, can cause huge fankles.

Using “they” to refer to a female is not normal in any setting. It is insidious and an Orwellian approach to language.

For example, if I am talking about my student Jane I would say “Jane did brilliantly on her maths test, I was particularly impressed by her algebra”. It would be absurd to say “Jane did brilliantly on their maths test, I was particularly impressed by their algebra”.

The aim of this movement, to pretend that people don’t have sexes, is extremely regressive. In an educational setting where children are vulnerable it is particularly important to reject gender ideology.

"Jane did brilliantly on their maths test, I was particularly impressed by their algebra”.

Sounds perfectly normal to me - can't really see how that is Orwellin and insidious.

I think you are reading too much into it. For your last comment, I don't even factor my students gender/sex into my teaching - it's just totally irrelevant.

Using sex-based pronouns is what every human society does and has always done.

The aim not to use sex-based pronouns is a deliberate distortion of language (it seems that you were specifically told to do this in school and I assume that in your personal life you do use sex-based pronouns? And it is only in schools where you don’t refer to girls as “she”?) is with a view to enable social transitions of children which as shown by the Cass review is not a neutral act.

Come off it, that’s not common parlance at all.
It sounds what it is; a deliberate attempt to disguise the sex of the person you’re referring to.

Yes. It's political language manipulation.

'perfectly normal'
'you're reading too much into it'

Never mind the minimisation, feel the width.

I don't use sex-based pronouns in my 'personal life', no, because it's just so natural for me not to.

'It sounds what it is; a deliberate attempt to disguise the sex of the person you’re referring to.'

The sex/gender of the person that I'm speaking about is irrelevant in my classroom though.

Use of they/them/their has always been the pronoun for unknown singular person. It does seem to have become normalised. But it is an irritating loss of precision.
Not all languages have gendered pronouns though.

Use of they/them/their has always been the pronoun for unknown singular person.

"Unknown" being the operative word.

They/them works for an unknown singular person but not a known one.

"Someone left their bag here!" - works
"Jane left their bag here!" - doesn't work, is it a communal bag or what

But on a purely practical level, in the uk at least where this use of language is (thankfully) not the norm, you send a disconcerting political message as a teacher when you use language in this weird way. Your students immediately make (imo, justified) snap judgements about your views and what you stand for, and also make assumptions (less justified) about the quality of your teaching, your assertiveness and so on.

What I mean is, your typical unruly teen will sniff out that you are probably a bit of a people pleaser and they will make your job a misery.

Maybe that's just the schools I've worked in.

"The sex/gender of the person that I'm speaking about is irrelevant in my classroom though".
If you're a teacher that's worrying. Identifying and analysing reasons for sex based prejudices and differences is critical. Analysing data to review the impact of the curriculum and hidden curriculum is vital if we're to do the best by all children. Pretending that sex doesn't matter is one of the reasons why sexual and physical VAWG is out of control and too many teachers have classrooms where the intimidation of girls runs rampant and negatively impacts on their learning.

Some teachers just don't see it - aided and abetted by those who claim sex differences don't exist.

What are you on about? They aren't my views. I'm not enforcing my views on anyone.

At your work do you not have tasks you have do a certain way, KPIs to meet, quality standards to meet etc?

I didn't accuse you of forcing your views on anyone, just exposing them.

No, as a teacher I've not had targets called KPIs, but I have had targets. I've never been asked to use they/them for every student. Do you work in the UK, out of interest?

If I were asked to speak like that, I'd do what I said on page 1, smile and nod, change nothing. Only I'd also hunt for another job because that rule is utterly bonkers.

'I've never been asked to use they/them for every student.'

Oh, well it happens quite a bit - as the OP has illustrated.

I think KPI's are more FE/HE based - i.e. some of mine were no more than 5% withdrawals, greater than 3.5 four of 5 in student satisfaction for taught sessions, 98% of scripts marked within two weeks etc. There were some around observations but I've blocked those out.

Yes, I'm UK based.

I no longer teach but I am in the higher education space - still use they/them all the time - I suppose it's a hard habit to break.

*'I've never been asked to use they/them for every student.'

Oh, well it happens quite a bit - as the OP has illustrated.*

I think op's example of what she's been asked to say is eye rolly but not that wild - being expected to use "they/them" for an individual girl called Jane is next level. I've really never come across anyone who speaks like that and I work in quite a so-called liberal-progressive school.

You mentioned you also speak like that outside work, has anyone ever commented that they find it odd? Would you use "they/them" when referring to, say, your mum or dad (singly)? Sorry if these questions are intrusive, you don't have to answer obviously. It's just a window into a different world.

You do use sex-based pronouns normally.

This is you writing in a thread a week or so ago (took me a matter of seconds to find this: “No, your husband does the house work and washing when he gets home from work.” Of course you used “he” in this context because you were talking about a man and “they” would have been unnatural.

It would be great if you could also call the female pupils that you teach “she”.

Using they/them for a singular person must be fraught with misunderstanding. I reckon you'd also imply a plurality/collectivism that isn't there, which removes individuality. It feels particularly bad when used for a singular woman, like it removes agency somehow.

Examples:

"My mum says they can't come visit this weekend" - who? Your mum alone? Your mum and dad?
"My sister says they don't want that" - whose wishes is she expressing? Her own?
"Mandy has shown me their artwork" - whose artwork? Did Mandy make it herself?

My mind honestly boggles. Sorry if this is a derail. This is so much deeper than not using "girls and boys"

I've had to write a lengthy dyslexia assessment for a student who was non- binary- so had to use they/them
Reading it back, it sounded like I was unhinged.