One of those little but crappy things

[PermanentTemporary]

Thinking about putting my old wedding ring on to go and see someone today. It's my job, I need to go, but he's getting a bit inappropriate with me and along with all the other things I do to manage that, it's possible that sticking my wedding ring on would make a difference because the twat would consider me owned by another man.

I don't want to wear it because I'm widowed and I don't feel married any more. And I particularly don't want to wear it for THAT guy and for that reason. I'm 55 years old. Ludicrous that I still have to consider this shit when visiting a man at home for my job.

I don't know what your job is but can you just not go or go with someone else?

Isn't it tedious Permanent. Does your work have a lone working policy? If so, does it have any advice for responses for clients with inappropriate expectations / demands?

Agreed. I would also add that if it were me, I'd be speaking to my line manager; sometimes a visit from a senior member of staff may help. It will let him know that your organisation is aware of his inappropriate behaviour. Also, do you have safeguard on your mobile?

Isn't it ridiculous how men respect other men (i.e. your "husband") more than they respect us?

Today's little thing for me was creating an account online to order heating fuel (last year it happened to be DH that did it, before that it was another company).
I placed the order and got an automated response saying they'd get in touch within 24hrs. When I created my own account the home address was obviously the same so their system must have merged the two, but they would still have seen that I placed the order and gave my phone number.
30 minutes later they phoned DH to arrange delivery, DH said that I was the one who ordered, they said they knew that but still called him. No reason for it other than it was usually husbands who ordered.
I suppose I'm being hypocritical though as by default I always call the mother when I need to contact a pupil's parent.

Would you believe permanent that I'm considering buying a bloody wedding ring to wear for similar purposes.

Shocking that in 2025 I'm going to be out of pocket to buy something I dont want to wear to keep certain men away. I'm piseed off all ways from Sunday about it.

I have a Male partner but for some men that's not good enough. Only the ring will do.ffs

I second the advice about the lone working policy / escalating this to a manager.

It's not OK for you to be put at risk for your job (it might not feel like a risk, more an inconvenience, but we all know how these things can escalate and you're already feeling uncomfortable).

I would wear the ring as well, if you think it'll help. It might feel like propping up the system you don't support but if it helps, sod it, you need to manage your boundaries with every tool you have.

Thank you all. We do have good policies, personal alarms, I've talked strategies with my line manager and I'm absolutely not forced to go. I appreciate the input though.

There was also my feeling that I should go, being an bracket-faced old war horse round the block a few times, rather than a fresh faced just graduated 22 year old. That's in my head rather than anybody else's but can't help wanting to keep this stuff away from the young lasses as long as possible. Not sure that's feminist analysis, more the mildly dysfunctional 'team matriarch' bit.

Or maybe it's wisdom and sisterhood? 😊

The value of Team Matriarch should not be underestimated.

@PermanentTemporary I would consider it (ring wearing ) expedient means. The misogynistic thinking is his stuff.

Also @AlicePottery, thanks for this info. I have a friend living abroad with her partner (both women) and from the get go in their new home together they mysteriously have had problems with their heating oil orders. Maybe the company have been waiting for the man of the house to confirm the order each time.

bracket-faced old war horse round the block a few times

That made me laugh, OP.

I'm sorry, though. I understand precisely the situation.

I've worn a wedding ring before, when I wasn't married, for similar reasons.

I hate how it feels like we lose whatever happens. And I can imagine this has stirred up complex and difficult emotions.

@PermanentTemporary "

Team Matriarch" - that resonates. Thank you for naming it.