The Talk

[CyclingSam]

I finally had the talk with my mother last night. It's the first time we've ever discussed sex and gender ideology.

Respect was called for because she is, after all, my birthing person, but I will admit to being politely flummoxed that she was unaware humans only come in two sexes. At university in the US in the late 50s she was heavily into phys ed, and studied biology! She didn't bring up clownfish, but she came close.

I provided a condensed version of much of what is discussed here, and she thanked me for educating her (her words). She only watches mainstream news, so there was quite a learning curve. It’s likely she’ll next be discussing this with my sister, who is in the #BeKind camp, so some ground may be lost…

Interesting that it's this way around, in my experience the older the woman the more likely they are to "get" the challenges that gender ideology poses to women. I say that as a woman who reached late 30s before I really questioned what my own be kind stance was, but my DM had been subtly trying to widen my view for a few years prior. And this has been typical among my friends.

Glad you had a constructive conversation OP.

Sam

Are you going to update us on how this goes when your mum has the talk with your sister? It might be surprising !!

Definitely.

Respect was called for because she is, after all, my birthing person, but I will admit to being politely flummoxed that she was unaware humans only come in two sexes. At university in the US in the late 50s she was heavily into phys ed, and studied biology! She didn't bring up clownfish, but she came close.

I'm assuming this is a wind up.

If you were referring to anyone who attended university post early 80s it would be plausible.

"my birthing person" !!!!!

Sam has posted this entirely tongue in cheek.

Older women may be more likely to "get" the problems with GI, but there is definitely a group of women of a certain age who are vocally and almost militantly progressive, and that includes GI.

It's the militancy that I don't quite understand. People who you were hitherto unaware had any political opinions at all, are suddenly extremely militant about this one issue. To the extent of breaking off friendships and family relations. How did that come about?

Yeah, it's inexplicable really.

@Helleofabore she hasn't talked to my sister about this yet, but we did briefly discuss it again. It turns out she doesn't feel like a woman. I didn't know quite how to reply to my mother of three, so we didn't unpack it, but I do know that as a girl she was what used to known as a tomboy. I had to fight the urge to ask if she was non-binary; it's unlikely she's ever heard the term. She's not online, for a start.

Rather late in life she either developed, or finally allowed herself to show, a sexual attraction to other women. So I reckon she's simply bisexual.

She doesn't have to feel like a woman, whatever that means, to be one. Being a woman is a material reality not a feeling.

(The bit about non-binary was more tongue-in-cheekness, for the record.)

Being a woman is a material reality not a feeling.

I know, but she's a bit fragile these days, and I didn't want to upset her.

Years back I raised these issues with the older generation, to polite bafflement of why I wasn't going along with the current accepted paradigm and being Kind like all the nice Guardian people said we should be.

In the time since they've all quietly and individually raised the subject with something akin to horror, and confusion. And asked what the fuck to do.

Because it all has had rather a lot of sunlight in the interim, hasn't it?

My wife was recently in touch with her widowed 90 year old father, who lives in Washington DC with my 100% TWAW sister-in-law (entire career working for places like Amnesty International). My wife and her sister had a falling out a few years ago over this stuff – "Are you afraid men are going to ogle you?" was her sister's answer to concerns about privacy in toilets and changing rooms. My wife has never discussed it with her father until now. He finds it "totally insane and beyond his comprehension," but keeps his head down for a peaceful life.