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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Help me with a description / term

33 replies

Missionimprobable · 15/10/2024 19:38

Is there a term or name for someone who champions any & all diverse groups who absolutely refuses to listen to another side of the argument & if you disagree with anything they say you are labelled homophonic, terf, racist etc.
They seem to be completely offended by my very existence of being a straight, white, middle-aged female.
It's a work situation that has gone on so long to the point that I'm completely silenced in meetings, I actually don't dare speak.
I need to stick up for myself but finding it difficult.

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MissScarletInTheBallroom · 15/10/2024 19:39

Social justice warrior?

Missionimprobable · 15/10/2024 19:42

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 15/10/2024 19:39

Social justice warrior?

Thank you so much, that's a pretty apt description 😀

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Ingenieur · 15/10/2024 19:50

Honestly? Bigot fits this description quite well, despite it often being used in the other direction.

MissingLynks · 15/10/2024 19:52

Interested to know what "other side of the argument" are you sharing that they are telling you is homophobic or racist?

Circumferences · 15/10/2024 20:09

Woke

biddyboo · 15/10/2024 20:13

I have someone like that in my workplace
She's a bully, but she gets away with it because she's an "ally".

Missionimprobable · 15/10/2024 21:07

MissingLynks · 15/10/2024 19:52

Interested to know what "other side of the argument" are you sharing that they are telling you is homophobic or racist?

Racist due to asking a question during a discussion on race during a d&i session, not allowed as a white person apparently.
Homophobic when I didn't know what the Stonewall Riots were.
I'm actually interested in all views and I was asking questions to better understand during D&I sessions.
She's actually a bit of a bully who has her sights firmly set on me, seems to think the world's ills lay firmly at my feet.
In reality I'm a people person, I'm interested in other people, their life experiences, my mantra is live your life and be happy, I'm not a hater.
Funny thing is she's a white middle-aged woman.

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Missionimprobable · 15/10/2024 21:08

Thanks everyone for your replies ❤️

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JanesLittleGirl · 15/10/2024 21:22

I have a number of terms but none that could be repeated in the company of my great aunt.

Bannedontherun · 15/10/2024 21:30

Oh dear.my advice is go silent, hear all that she spews out, take notes on it all and then go arm yourself on the internet.

You will be more ready for sound bites after that.

Missionimprobable · 15/10/2024 21:33

JanesLittleGirl · 15/10/2024 21:22

I have a number of terms but none that could be repeated in the company of my great aunt.

That cheered me up, thank you 😂

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Missionimprobable · 15/10/2024 21:33

Bannedontherun · 15/10/2024 21:30

Oh dear.my advice is go silent, hear all that she spews out, take notes on it all and then go arm yourself on the internet.

You will be more ready for sound bites after that.

Sound advice, thank you❤️

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Missionimprobable · 15/10/2024 21:34

biddyboo · 15/10/2024 20:13

I have someone like that in my workplace
She's a bully, but she gets away with it because she's an "ally".

This just about sums her up too, she just gets away with it

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Screamingabdabz · 15/10/2024 21:39

These kind of people actually work against the principles of EDI because they shut down people’s authentic and unconscious prejudices. It’s only when we ask questions and challenge things that real debate and mutual understanding can happen.

But you’ll never reconcile to fanatical idiots like this unless you’re really ten steps ahead and can debate them into the ground. But who can be arsed with that?

Missionimprobable · 15/10/2024 22:05

Screamingabdabz · 15/10/2024 21:39

These kind of people actually work against the principles of EDI because they shut down people’s authentic and unconscious prejudices. It’s only when we ask questions and challenge things that real debate and mutual understanding can happen.

But you’ll never reconcile to fanatical idiots like this unless you’re really ten steps ahead and can debate them into the ground. But who can be arsed with that?

Absolutely how I feel about the situation.
It should be an opportunity to ask questions and understand but she makes it a hostile environment which silences me.

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ellenback21 · 15/10/2024 22:22

That sounds awful. I think you should give serious consideration to the possibility that you are being bullied. You describe being labelled as a homophobe, terf, racist. You feel silenced in meetings, unable to speak. ACAS has a page on bullying at work: https://www.acas.org.uk/bullying-at-work

What bullying is - Bullying at work - Acas

What bullying means, including employer responsibilities and what to do if you're being bullied at work.

https://www.acas.org.uk/bullying-at-work

Skifflittlefingers · 15/10/2024 22:45

The word is bigot.

Can I suggest listening to the podcast This Isn't Working? It's a fantastic podcast led by two HR people who have nothing good to say about the radical political views found in many EDI teams. They seem very on the ball and it's a great intro for those unfamiliar with this type of corporate dysfunction - and might help you realise how not alone you are.

Missionimprobable · 16/10/2024 06:08

@ellenback21
Thank you for the link and yes I don't want to admit she bullies me but I do feel bullied

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Missionimprobable · 16/10/2024 06:09

@Skifflittlefingers
Thank you for directing me to the podcast, I'll definitely listen to it

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YellowAsteroid · 16/10/2024 06:39

Bigot.

also:
Young

Arrogant

A man.

YellowAsteroid · 16/10/2024 06:45

Although I’ve now RTFT Wink and seen that my suggestions after “bigot” are way off - showing my bias, I guess.

It sounds as though your colleague is using. EDI stuff to compete with you in some way.

If you want to, you could “workshop” some responses here. The clever brains of MN and FWR could help you with some responses. But I get what you mean by feeling silenced.

teawamutu · 16/10/2024 08:20

Misogynist wanker.

SamuelDJackson · 16/10/2024 09:20

So she is all the evils combined herself (female, white, middle aged, so on)
Is she just screaming 'do it to Julia'?
Has anyone else noticed the behaviour? is there anywhere you could raise her manner towards you and how this affects you? eg the unneccesarily combatitive/countemptous manner in responding to a colleague?

Missionimprobable · 16/10/2024 17:09

@YellowAsteroid
Yes it definitely feels like she's competing with me, we started off pretty friendly but as I began making work pals within the team she started with petty comments which have escalated.
I really could do with workshopping some responses with the help of the mn hive mind.
There was an incident (another untrue accusation against me) yesterday which prompted my op, luckily it was witnessed and my manager has been informed.
He has advised me today to start a formal grievance, he's been aware of all the instances of her petty and not so petty attacks.
I'm giving it some serious thought tonight, luckily I started making notes when she first started being horrible to me.
It sounds ridiculous, I hate to say she bullies me, I sound pathetic (we're not school girls) but bullying is what it is.

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Missionimprobable · 16/10/2024 17:11

@teawamutu
Thank you for that, made me smile after another shitty day 😄

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