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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Sexual strangulation has become popular – but that doesn’t mean it’s wanted

30 replies

IwantToRetire · 08/10/2024 18:37

Sexual choking is a more informal label for strangulation. It involves the grabbing, holding or compression of another’s neck either by hands, or limb, or by use of a prop or weapon, and typically involves restriction of blood or air flow. When it is used as part of a sexual encounter, it is frequently referred to as “erotic asphyxiation” or “breath play”.

In a 2016 survey of Americans aged 18-60 years, 21.4% of women who had sex with men had been choked. And one in five men admitted to choking a partner (male or female) during sex.

An Australian study from this year found that more than half of 18- to 35-year-olds reported they had been strangled during sex at least once. A similar proportion admitting to strangling a partner at least once. Though strangling is common among both men and women, evidence shows that women are more likely to be strangled and men more likely to do the strangling.

People give various reasons for engaging in sexual strangling, including wanting to be kinky or adventurous, believing it would please their partner, and feelings of power and dominance. But campaigners point out that the often gendered nature of strangulation can feed into wider patterns of coercion and control of women by men.

Although sexual choking appears to be increasingly common, it is not necessarily wanted by those engaging in or receiving it. A significant proportion of women, in particular, do not consent to being choked, even if the rest of the encounter is consensual.

A survey for the BBC in 2019 found that in a study of 2,000 young women aged 18–39, 38% had experienced unwanted slapping, choking, gagging or spitting during otherwise consensual sex. And a similar proportion of men admit to choking or strangling a partner during sex without their consent.

Part of a much longer article at https://theconversation.com/sexual-strangulation-has-become-popular-but-that-doesnt-mean-its-wanted-239235

The Institute for Addressing Strangulation (IFAS) was established in October 2022, following the introduction of new legislation on strangulation and suffocation as a stand-alone offence.
https://ifas.org.uk/about-us/

Sexual strangulation has become popular – but that doesn’t mean it’s wanted

Strangulation has traditionally been viewed as a violent act and has long been recognised as an assault in criminal law.

https://theconversation.com/sexual-strangulation-has-become-popular-but-that-doesnt-mean-its-wanted-239235

OP posts:
XChrome · 10/10/2024 02:00

VoodooQualities · 09/10/2024 23:08

What I don't really understand is - do men think that women are really that different to them? Do they really think that something they themselves would OBVIOUSLY not enjoy (like being strangled) is a huge turn on for us?

No they don't. Men who engage in such practices neither know nor care what women's turn-ons are. They don't even think about it. We are mere objects to them.

XChrome · 10/10/2024 02:01

IwantToRetire · 08/10/2024 21:29

This is getting more and more depressing

Boys asking teachers how to choke girls during sex
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cnkkqyek17zo

Edited

😩

VoodooQualities · 10/10/2024 02:48

XChrome · 10/10/2024 02:00

No they don't. Men who engage in such practices neither know nor care what women's turn-ons are. They don't even think about it. We are mere objects to them.

Yes. It's depressing and distressing isn't it?

A couple of years ago my husband had the 'porn talk' with our then 14-yo son (or thereabouts).

I listened in (discretely!) and distinctly remember him saying something to our son: you know lad, women and men aren't that different really. If you see something being done to a woman in porn that you wouldn't like done to you, you can be sure she isn't enjoying it either.

That stuck with me. It seems so obvious but I am not sure that many men think that way.

XChrome · 10/10/2024 04:33

VoodooQualities · 10/10/2024 02:48

Yes. It's depressing and distressing isn't it?

A couple of years ago my husband had the 'porn talk' with our then 14-yo son (or thereabouts).

I listened in (discretely!) and distinctly remember him saying something to our son: you know lad, women and men aren't that different really. If you see something being done to a woman in porn that you wouldn't like done to you, you can be sure she isn't enjoying it either.

That stuck with me. It seems so obvious but I am not sure that many men think that way.

You're right, they don't think that way. Your husband sounds like an exceptional guy.

Copperoliverbear · 10/10/2024 05:32

Porn weirdo's

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