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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

What I want to say to those women

15 replies

AHaresPaw · 07/10/2024 17:50

On a recent thread, the OP asked for advice on how to fill in a form that only gave ‘ciswoman’ as an option. It made me think of the people I work with and what I want to say to them, but can’t in case I’m fired. I just need a place to put this out there.

Imagine you’re called Katie Smith. You’ve always been Katie. But the past five years, a lot of people think you should be called Ciskatie. You now have to fill in all government forms as Ciskatie Smith, so the people who were born Brenda or Susie but changed their name to Katie aren’t offended by your truthful existence. I repeat, you’ve to change your name because other people have sore feelings. Except in the real world, it’s not Brendas and Susies, it’s men. You have to do what the men tell you because if you don’t it hurts their feelings. What about Katie’s feelings? Doesn’t Katie matter at least as much?

Except this isn’t just one name. This is all women. We all have to rename ourselves to validate certain men having a sexist stereotype of us engrained in their mind. ‘How is it a sexist stereotype’ you might ask. Well, do you believe that all women feel the same and think the same? We know that’s not true about women, or men. So I know there’s no such thing as ‘thinking like a woman’ or ‘feeling like a woman’ or ‘lady brain’ - I reject all the stereotypes of us women that kept us out of the vote, the education system, the workplace by virtue of our sex. We are not different thinking, different feeling inside, to men by default. Sure there might be some averages that apply to one sex more than the other but how dare any fucker assume? A man can’t say truthfully ‘I feel like a woman’ only ‘I feel like what my prejudices toward women have informed me to assume a woman feels like’ and those same prejudices stop him realising this. This is the man you want to clap for while he thinks all you are is a bowed head and high heels?

Ask yourself, are a dumb blonde? A ditzy bird? Pregnant and barefoot? Emotional? Highly strung? Daddy’s little slut? Shit at maths because you’re a girl? Unfit to be a leader? Just need a good cock to put you off being a lesbian? No, me neither. I’m none of those stereotypes. How about men ‘be kind’ to women and not reinforce the notion that ‘If you’re ABC, you must be female’?

The only time I feel ‘like a woman’ is when I’m dealing with my reproductive system and the substandard care the NHS provides to deal with it, and that certainly won’t be happening to the men that wear our faces instead of dealing with their own confusion. I’m sorry to hear some people feel confusion but that’s their own responsibility to soothe, not all women’s, and they best not be entitled to things that aren’t theirs. Twerps with their degrees, soft jobs and luxury beliefs in government and clueless companies have declared we’ve to pretend there is such a disgusting notion as ‘lady brains’ to ‘be kind’. Well fuck those twerps, fuck their forms, fuck being kind, fuck anyone who doesn’t hear my NO, fuck the handmaids and the horses they rode in on who say my No doesn’t matter as much as a man’s Yes.

So no, Katie won’t be buying into HR DEI bullshit, because Katie is perfectly happy to say no to men and their flying monkeys.

I am woman, the whole category. And this woman is fed up to my back fucking teeth of ‘being kind’ to make sexist men happy. Aren’t we all fed up of the days when we had to make ourselves smaller, stupider, meeker, with no boundaries of our own, to please men? Why aren’t you, Ciskatie? You’re not kind, you’re not progressive, you’re a turkey voting for Christmas.

I feel a bit better now.

OP posts:
Igmum · 07/10/2024 17:59

Yaayyy 👏 well said @AHaresPaw.

I'm too old, too busy and too grumpy to get a gender identity. Other people can wear whatever they like as long as they don't demand things of me that I never agreed to.

AHaresPaw · 07/10/2024 18:07

Igmum · 07/10/2024 17:59

Yaayyy 👏 well said @AHaresPaw.

I'm too old, too busy and too grumpy to get a gender identity. Other people can wear whatever they like as long as they don't demand things of me that I never agreed to.

That’s exactly how I feel. Offended someone thinks woman can be cosplayed but sure, that’s up to them, just make no demand of me. Makes me so mad when women tell other women to give into the feet stamping, signing our boundaries away. Grrrr!

OP posts:
OhcantthInkofaname · 07/10/2024 18:24

Thank you!

fabricstash · 07/10/2024 18:33

Spot on

TangoTarantella · 07/10/2024 18:38

👏👏👏

tobee · 07/10/2024 18:43

Excellent thread

annonymousse · 07/10/2024 19:01

100% agree with everything you said.

RVEllacott · 07/10/2024 19:39

Hear hear, I quite agree and that's before adding that vulnerable young people are being fed this bullshit too and might actually start to believe there's something wrong with their healthy bodies.

user1471453601 · 07/10/2024 19:45

But, no one is asking you to put cis in front of your actual name. And you have only hearsay "proof" that someone somewhere has been asked to describe themselves as a ciswoman. Non issue for me.

I'll repeat that bit, non issue for me. Emphasis on the the last two words.

catlesslady · 07/10/2024 20:17

Re ciswoman v woman. It's the hypocrisy that says so much about what's really going on isn't it. If a person's 'identity' is all important and purely a matter of how they feel, and the words used to describe that person must match that identity, and it is harmful to ask them to use words to describe that identity that they haven't chosen for themselves- then why is it OK to insist that some people must just accept the identity and words to describe it that others say they must use? If, on the other hand, it's 'just words' and 'kind' to make others feel more comfortable why does that not apply to everyone?

WallaceinAnderland · 07/10/2024 22:01
over your head cosplay GIF by Comic-Con HQ

But, no one is asking you to put cis in front of your actual name.

AutumnalCosiness · 07/10/2024 22:04

catlesslady · 07/10/2024 20:17

Re ciswoman v woman. It's the hypocrisy that says so much about what's really going on isn't it. If a person's 'identity' is all important and purely a matter of how they feel, and the words used to describe that person must match that identity, and it is harmful to ask them to use words to describe that identity that they haven't chosen for themselves- then why is it OK to insist that some people must just accept the identity and words to describe it that others say they must use? If, on the other hand, it's 'just words' and 'kind' to make others feel more comfortable why does that not apply to everyone?

This!!!

Manxexile · 07/10/2024 22:13

user1471453601 · 07/10/2024 19:45

But, no one is asking you to put cis in front of your actual name. And you have only hearsay "proof" that someone somewhere has been asked to describe themselves as a ciswoman. Non issue for me.

I'll repeat that bit, non issue for me. Emphasis on the the last two words.

If you're agreeing that "cis" in a gender context is a meaningless made-up prefix, and you are also saying that no-one applies it to biological women - or that they are simply bonkers if they do - then I'd agree with you.

But I'm not sure that is your position...

JellySaurus · 08/10/2024 00:25

catlesslady · 07/10/2024 20:17

Re ciswoman v woman. It's the hypocrisy that says so much about what's really going on isn't it. If a person's 'identity' is all important and purely a matter of how they feel, and the words used to describe that person must match that identity, and it is harmful to ask them to use words to describe that identity that they haven't chosen for themselves- then why is it OK to insist that some people must just accept the identity and words to describe it that others say they must use? If, on the other hand, it's 'just words' and 'kind' to make others feel more comfortable why does that not apply to everyone?

3rd and 8th Rules of Misogyny:

3rd rule of misogyny: Women speaking for themselves are exclusionary and selfish.

8th rule of misogyny: Men are whatever men say they are and women are whatever men say they are.

LadyCakehole · 08/10/2024 00:37

Thank you AHaresPaw. I wish we could pin that to the top of this board.

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