A book on autism which pushes the trans rights agenda

[CatFeet]

I saw a thread on MN asking for book recommendations for autists. I looked up one that sounded good called Unmasking Autism, I’ve included the blurb from the publisher which is very misleading. Thankfully I read the reviews, and I’m deeply disturbed. The book is mainly devoted to promoting the author’s transgender ideology while trying to pass itself off as a helpful resource for autistic people.

Here is one review to give an idea:

’This could be a phenomenally helpful book, but the author has decided to use it as a platform to talk about their transgender agenda. Could have been so helpful, ended up as tremendously dull listening to their soap box.’

And another:

’I was enjoying this book, and I found myself trusting the thoughts, ideas and referencing. However, I am in new territory and so was building my trust in the author. It is my view that this author misrepresents JK Rowling in this book, and pointlessly, without any thorough referencing, and therefore, my trust has been undermined. I wanted to read about unmasking autism, and I was not looking to hear someone's views on the current gender/sex debates. I'll be returning the book.’

What on earth does JK Rowling have to do with Autism?

@Brainworm your post really chimes with me. Especially the last sentence. Very tired of being told by adults with mild traits that they know more about my sons needs than I do.

Thank you for this thread OP.

I bookmarked it to come back to when I had more time. I'm glad I had the benefit of it being decluttered by MNHQ by the time I came to it! It looks like there was a fair bit of unhelpful posting going on. Unfortunately, when the conflation of autism and gender identity is discussed, it does seem to attract that kind of thing.

As PPs have said, I've also experienced a complete "capture" of autism organisations by gender identity belief. I'm sad for my autistic daughter that it means that I've not signed her up for any autism-related groups outside of school. Unfortunately the risk of her (re)conflating her autism-related puberty distress with a belief that she might not be in the right body is just too great. I went along to a parents' group myself for a while but I eventually quietly self-excluded owing to the heavy pushing of gender identity belief as fact.

Adding a link to a related discussion, in case it's of interest. It's about a blog rather than a book, but it's a great "counter" to the current direction of travel that exists in examples like the book on this thread:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5050306-take-part-autistic-gender-critical-voices

Wow thank you for sharing, this is outrageous. I’m in shock of what I have just read. Neuroqueer?? Insidious. The situation is far worse than I realised.

I went along to a parents' group myself for a while but I eventually quietly self-excluded owing to the heavy pushing of gender identity belief as fact.

When my autistic child was little, the autism groups locally were heavily pushing gluten-free, milk-free diets as a 'cure' for autism. I went to a few to be ranted at about how I was letting down my child (who would only eat cheese sandwiches and about three other foods).

Why does this have a similar feel?

In my experience of autism support groups those running them are fully bought in to the trans agenda but most there quietly ignore it. For instance, I’ve been to a zoom with 60+ participants where we were asked to put our pronouns on screen and about 3 people complied. I think as with many things, the noisy activists are shouting the loudest but most people are quietly ignoring them and taking what they need from other aspects of the discussion. I do agree that it’s worrying that these activists have access to so many vulnerable people, though.

Prior to my formal diagnosis I would only say it is suspected I am autistic. I have always been honest and said I was offended back in 2009 when it was first suggested. Particularly due to the stigma during that period. As a survivor of the care system and all types of abuse. I strongly believe that had the Trans ideology been so prevalent in the 1990s/2000s I would have seen changing gender as a way to navigate out of the CSA, DV and grooming. At this time I had a major self cutting issue, I still have the scars today. I fear for the young women currently being indoctrinated.

I am still seeing it with my work despite the Cass Report, all those young people have an EHCP with ADHD, Autism, GDD etc… yet are socially transitioned on their EHCPs pronouns changed etc…and supported by the colleges, even the internal record system has a tab for gender identity. However no GRC or deedpolls are ever received as part of official documentation. The autistic community had very much been targeted and captured in my opinion as an academic, SEND Professional, Care Experienced autistic women.

I didn't experience any ranting (thankfully!) but the passive-aggressive undertone that I did experience achieves pretty much the same thing.

In one of my first sessions at the group (it was an in-person one), one person shared a meme around the table that said something like "When I mask, it's for you. Not me", along with a drawing depicting someone holding their head in their hands. At the time I thought it was a powerful, brilliant message.

But each time I went I began to realise how my approach to support my daughter with her autism (a combination of reasonable adjustments and helping her to build resilience) was out of step with the groupthink ethos.

Everyone masks. We all edit what comes out of our mouths or how we act. I'm not suggesting for a minute that it has the same impact on an NT person as it does an ND person, but the ability to mask is still needed. If we all said everything we were thinking or threw our arms up in visible frustration every time someone or something felt wrong, we'd have a broken society pretty quickly. Learning how to do some masking without it being detrimentally draining is an important skill. Instead of talking about this I.... masked my inner thoughts, smiled and kept schtum.

I’m in shock of what I have just read. Neuroqueer?? Insidious. The situation is far worse than I realised.

I didn't hear this phrase said, but I did hear "autigender" mentioned. Also lots of talk about how it was important to affirm. There was a memorable moment where a mum talked about her "son" (16/17 year female who identifies as a boy) and her husband, the child's dad, not affirming - I can still hear the mum saying "if [child] starts taking testosterone and gets a beard, [husband] will just have to get used to it". Everyone in the group apparently thought that was hilarious and laughed. My "masking" didn't extend to me laughing along but I did make every effort to keep my face neutral and hide how sad I felt for both the child and the husband in this situation.

I personally found Fern Brady’s book Strong Female Character really helpful as did my partner. Sarah Hendricks book is helpful in some sections.

As a side point both the trans and autistic people I know hate the usage "identify as". In their view either you are or you aren't. "Identify as" seems to be much more the usage of people who want to see themselves as allies, not by the people themselves.

I haven't read this book. A friend (autistic adult) and says she did not like it for other reasons. Among other things, Dr. price makes a big deal of his PhD in psychology as if it's relevant to the work, but his PhD isn't in clinical psychology or anything to do with autism. Also (again repeating her opinion) she thought Price was far too invested in extrapolating from his own personal experience and not considering the diversity of autism.

the self diagnosis question will likely never be answered satisfactorily, certainly not until it's at least possible for adults to access diagnostic services and the assessments improved. Some clinicians are still using testing designed for children.

Sorry but a diagnosis doesn't really help with medication or appropriate therapy. Even after explaining that CBT can be damaging to autistic people (and I've done it before) and asking specifically for EMDR which has good results for autistic people, they still refuse and instead try to get you to do CBT.

@SeptimusSheep I had exactly the same thought!
Ten to fifteen years ago, none of the parent support groups etc that I attended said anything about gender. I attended one or two specifically aimed at parents of boys, but that all seemed quite sensible. The cheese sandwiches really was about as mad as it got. I worked in specialist provision twenty years ago - absolutely none of this gender malarkey. I'm horrified to read about Mumsnetters' more recent experiences.
Possible derail, but I sometimes wonder if some of the rot set in with DSM-V bringing Asperger's under autism in 2013. I don't say that to belittle those with what we used to call Asperger's, but because it seems to me like those with e.g., non-verbal autism have been pushed to one side. One of my children has a diagnosis of "high-functioning autism". There have been troubles, for sure, but nothing like on the scale of, say, a child with non-verbal autism and learning difficulties turning into an adult who is never going to lead an independent life. To bring this back on track with the OP's excellent posts, I am worried that the "identifying" into autism further pushes such adults and children to the margins of society. That the story ends up being all about those with the loudest voice - while we readily forget those who have no voice at all.

Oh, I found her review (she wouldn't like me linking it on a public site so I won't). This annoyed her particularly (most of it is a quote from the book). There's a trend online to expand the definition of neurodivergence to include various sorts of mental illness and personality disorders; I happen to know my friend is very against this.

"'Since standards for mainstream behavior are so narrow, there are a variety of ways in which a person's behavior can diverge--and be punished for diverging. Having frequent panic attacks is a neurodivergence, as is exhibiting signs of an eating disorder. If you struggle in your close relationships because of attachment trauma or an inescapable fear of rejection, you're neurodivergent too (you might also get stuck with a particularly stigmatizing label, such as Borderline Personality Disorder).

'Almost anyone can be viewed as defective or abnormal under our current medicalized model of mental illness...'

If we're all abnormal, and it's all about observable behavior, then abnormal is normal, and it doesn't mean anything."

I posted about this on another autism thread a few days ago but the DSM committee's decision was made for good reasons; the criteria as written were poor and didn't correspond to long term outcomes. The problem is that they haven't found meaningful criteria that do.

Thanks for that explanation @knitnerd90 it's idle speculation on my part really!

Firstly I am so sorry for what you have gone through. Secondly I was having the same thoughts…I grew up in the 80s/90s, what would have happened to me if this had been around? I was what is now called ‘gender-non conforming’ as a teenager because I liked to wear ‘boy’s’ clothing because it was more comfortable. Would I have been told that means I am a boy? I used to get asked if I was gay instead.

Thanks for the link I shall read through it 👍

And you missed mostly illegible gibberish!

The reason I was interested in this book is because I am trying to figure out what is the difference between what everyone does (social politeness) and the type of masking that leaves many autistic people completely burned out after prolonged social encounters. It is an important skill to learn social politeness so if the messaging around unmasking is just being completely unfiltered at all times, well that’s not doing anyone any favours. In the case of autistic masking, it goes beyond social politeness into trying to constantly ‘read the room’ to understand hidden social cues, to try to copy ‘normal’ people’s behaviours, suppressing any kind of obvious self-soothing behaviours (I have developed a very stealthy one 😆). I have given the wrong impression so many times because I don’t understand appropriate eye contact. I hold eye contact for too long in an effort to try to be normal and overcome not wanting to give eye contact, which then either makes people feel uncomfortable or makes people think I’m sexually interested in them, and I think I come across as very intense.

Judging by what my friend said, and I will say she's American and not GC, there's better work on the topic.

What you're saying here makes soooooooooooooooo much sense.

If you ever write a book on masking and its impact on autistic people, please can I have a copy? 😁

"Utter bullcrap if you mean they left rekationships because they changed their gender then yes I am sorry for the family breakdown and I can see why it feels like that side note my ex partner did this some of you would call me a trans widow. I find that term very disgusting as that implies he they died they didn't they just had been living a lie for many years. Yes I was angry and upset but now I realised that she is much better for this happier we are still good friends and thats fine by me"

However...you don't seem to be able to remember if your ex is a he, she or they ?????

As a side point both the trans and autistic people I know hate the usage "identify as". In their view either you are or you aren't. "Identify as" seems to be much more the usage of people who want to see themselves as allies, not by the people themselves.

@knitnerd90 can I ask a question to unpick this? Whilst I completely agree that "identifying as" autistic makes no sense whatsoever, "identifying as" in the context of gender identity makes perfect sense to me. Do you know why your trans(-identifying) friends don't see it that way.

With autism, you either are or you aren't. As PPs (and the OP) have said above, there are people who suspect they might be but it's quite a leap to take this suspicion and "identify as autistic" without a diagnosis.

With gender identity, you are your sex (that's a physical reality... you can't identify out of cervical cancer or prostate cancer, for example) but you identify as something other than your sex e.g. as the opposite sex, as non-binary or as something else. I appreciate that it feels real to the person who is doing the "identifying as" but it still doesn't impact what you actually are (see above re sex-specific cancer examples).

I was diagnosed at 50 to ,I've so many books on autism in women
They actually nearly put me of going for assessment,as I couldn't recognise myself in any of them .
I've told very few people also ,
With trans I just keep my opinions to myself as I'm very factual and black and white ,where as my adult daughter has strong opposing views to mine ...I just think crack on ...back in the real world who has time for this shit.
But yes ,I'm in a WhatsApp group of supposedly autistic adults ,with one person who has a trans child ,and yes ,no one dares bring the subject up in any way ,and at every opportunity,it feels like that is mentioned..
I don't bother commenting any more

💐💪

I am still seeing it with my work despite the Cass Report, all those young people have an EHCP with ADHD, Autism, GDD etc… yet are socially transitioned on their EHCPs pronouns changed etc…and supported by the colleges, even the internal record system has a tab for gender identity.

Whilst I fully appreciate that I might be seeing it through a biased lens of my own experience (I've had lots of conversations, including with the local authority in relation to my daughter's EHCP), I have a feeling that the percentage of people presenting with gender dysphoria who are autistic is now way higher than the GIDS data from 2019 (35% of referrals) or the estimate from two GIDS/Tavistock clinicians when also including children who met the diagnostic criteria for autism but didn't have a diagnosis (48%). Here's a link to their paper:
https://repository.tavistockandportman.ac.uk/1910/

I lost a friend to the trans-Rowling issue a couple of years ago ‘never contact me or my family again’.
she has a trans child. Pretty sure both her and child are ASD; in fact I’d bet a lot of money. Also explains the very black and white thinking and switch from friend to ‘enemy’.

upset me a lot at the time

Thank you for the link. I am always professional within my role. Keep my opinions to myself. I worry that while I do not verbalise what I am thinking, my facial expression shall not be suitably masked. When writing emails, I use the legal name with chosen name in brackets and avoid pronouns. It can be exhausting mentally as I am also dyslexic. I am all for dress how you want, be who you are, just be polite and treat others with manners. I am generally very liberal in my views, I dated a man who cross-dressed (I enjoyed that he understood make-up) although upon reflection he was incredibly misogynistic. Sex is biological, gender is a social construct in my opinion. I grew up a foster home where the male privilege was very much in situ including from my adoptive mother. Always very relieved that this ideology was not around in my teens, early twenties, I would have been removing my breasts.