Help for child of transing father

[DorotheaDiamond]

Friend of dd has returned from uni to discover parents divorcing because dad has decided he’s a woman (taking hormones and talking about some surgery not sure which) . Can anyone recommend any good resources I can point the daughter to to help her cope with this? I don’t know any more info than this …just after resources…

Children of Transitioners https://childrenoftransitioners.org/

Your dd's friend might not be ready for the transwidows film quite yet OP, but I'd recommend you watch it to help support your dd and her friend as best you can and maybe judge if it would be useful for them to watch right now. It sounds as if your dd's friend is a bit older than many of the children discussed in the film, and I hope this means they are harmed slightly less. Emma from Children of Transitioners is in the film talking about her experience. Link at the top of this thread.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5151159-premiere-of-trans-widows-film-on-friday-30th-aug

The Children of Transitioners (CoTs) website is a useful place to start- I understand the earlier articles were written by the founder whilst she came to terms with her own experience.
Later articles are by different Cots and include drawing attention to issues your friend hopefully won't have to deal with yet (or at all). Where dads decide they are women in middle age I understand often the main surgery they want if any is breast implants, along with access to areas where women/ girls are undressed/ vulnerable.

As she is now an adult she can make her own decisions and say 'No' and walk away if her father tries to coerce her into things she is not happy with. UK and ECHR law confirms he remains her father (not her mother) whatever he says. I hope he is respectful of female boundaries and their relationship continues.

Unfortunately all books published that I know of are by transactivists seeking to coerce Cots to act as props to the transparent, and often magnify the pain and emotional trauma Cots experience. Many counsellors are told to prioritise validation of the transperson over the rest of the family ( I think the court case James Esses won recently was about this). The good news is that the Cots group have been working on some written resources for publication although I don't know when it will reach the public!

It's hard for Cots of any age going through this- scared to speak up about their own feelings as they get such abuse from trans activists if they don't toe the line! Please reassure your friend's daughter she is not alone, there are increasing numbers of Cots about even though most stay silent in public.

I was just going to post the link to CoT as recommended on Sex Matters, so glad someone else has posted but with additional info.

But have to say OP reading you introduction I just had such an emotional jolt to the thought of experiencing coming home from univesity to that news.

It sounds like the friend of your dd has at least some support from you and her.

I hope the friend's mother aslo has support.

What a shit show.

This maybe something you could watch. Obviously this is Emma’s experience so it will be different for everyone. Emma comes across as a lovely person and from what I recall manages to find some humour in the bizarreness of it all. Not sure if it is right for your friend’s daughter but there maybe bits in it that could help you support her.

With all due respect (and I'm as GC ad they come) if this person is old enough to he at uni and that's all the info you have, are you actually close enough to be throwing advice and websites at them?

I'm sure she's old enough to google herself and it doesn't seem likes she's asked you to get involved...

I'm sure she's old enough to google herself and it doesn't seem likes she's asked you to get involved...

You could think that, but you could think that this young person could be in a state of shock and very emotional and has turned to OP's dd for support.

I dont see how you could interpret OP's post as some nosy neighbour invading someone's private life.

Men don't like women helping each other. Twas ever thus.

I'm a woman?

Why does” with all due respect( and I’m as GC as they come)” utterly fail to convince?

Beira's place helped my friend find a counsellor who wasn't addled in the head by gender ideology and actually understood the grief and shock.