Poking fun behaviour

[shoefits]

There's a man at work that tries to flirt with me. He smirks, makes me cups of tea (as a joke), and recently had started to poke fun. It's a little inappropriate as he is senior than I am. He is shy and awkward.

Does he do this because he fancies me or is he trying to get one up?

I've recently started standing up for myself and just being my confident self at work. It has a misogynistic culture.

If you’ve worked together for some time it seems strange that his behaviour towards you would change suddenly - perhaps he’s testing your boundaries to see if you’ll stand up for yourself. Also, some men in my experience enjoy irritating female colleagues, it’s like their sense of humour hasn’t progressed beyond being teenagers.

Don’t drink the tea he’s making and, if that isn’t a strong enough hint, ask him not to make you tea.

As for the other interactions, try and close down conversations that you’re not enjoying or that are flirty by excusing yourself from them - tell him you’ve got to get back to what you were doing or that you’re busy.

You shouldn’t have to tolerate this sort of thing in the workplace; start keeping records of inappropriate behaviour (with times & dates) in case you need to make an official complaint to HR.

Sounds like he's trying to make you uncomfortable.

I would avoid men like this at all costs personally, they never have good intentions towards you regardless of whether they "fancy" you or are trying to pull you down a peg IME.

I would argue that although he may indeed find you attractive (and I'm sure you do have many attractive qualities), that's not the reason for his behaviour.

(Further edit:) More importantly even if he did find you attractive that doesn't excuse him being inappropriate towards you.

Don't be taken in by the shy and awkward thing either, that's also a good cover for misogynists "oh I didn't realise I was being inappropriate, I'm just so shy and awkward when it comes to women I like" (<- vomit face)

ETA: If you have recently started standing up for yourself and giving voice to your opinions & his behaviour has escalated at the same time I would say that definitely points to him trying to humiliate and pull you down.

I'm fully aware that this is not the main point but I don't get this bit:

He smirks, makes me cups of tea (as a joke)

As a joke?

Don't drink the tea, just in case. Contaminating food and drink and giving it to women is a thing, unfortunately.

Fuck. Really??!

Sadly, disgustingly yes.

There was a thread about it here recently.

There's always a new yuck to learn about isn't there? Depressing.

God almighty. Yes, there's is. Do I want to know what they contaminate the tea with?!

No you probably don't. Bet you can take an educated guess though, it's exactly as disgusting as you are probably imagining.

I didn't know it was a thing either and there just isn't enough brain bleach in the world!

He does not sound shy at all. He's smirking at you and making jokes at your expense? Wtf? He sounds like a creep. He's skirting just shy of harassment to test your boundaries. He knows you can't get away with telling him to fuck off for his "innocent" behavior, so he wants to see if he can go further. When he makes you tea say no thank you. Make an excuse about trying to cut down on caffeine if you like. If he makes a joke, don't laugh. Just look at him with an expression indicating you're sizing him up and aren't impressed with what you see. Don't be too overt at this stage. Be covert like him, but at the same time be sure your lack on interest in his bullshit is unmistakable. Then tell him you have work to do and you need to get back to it.

Fuck me. Sperm?!

Got it in one!

😱

Brilliant.

That's gross misconduct. And gross. Wtf are men thinking?? They are foul.