Cracking article on surrogacy

[lcakethereforeIam]

Julie Bindel (it was that good I can even remember which Julie it is 😃) in the Critic

https://thecritic.co.uk/the-love-that-cant-be-erased/

Of course in this context 'cracking' and 'good' means 'well written' and 'horrifying'.

Not sure what's going on in the thumbnail, gay man who's just taken delivery of his package, or tm (in false eyelashes(!)) who has just given birth?

That 'expert' who appeared for the buyers should be struck off.

Fantastic final line, which alludes to the fact that we really do all know and understand the importance of mothers even while as a society we continue to devalue them.

I've just read Meera Syal's House of Hidden Mothers which is a powerful read and brings a lot of the issues to the forefront in a really accessible way.

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I believe it is a male trans person accepting 'delivery'.

I feared as much, that poor baby. What a welcome to the world.

I feel cold fury reading that article. The male entitlement and the total disregard for the mother-baby bond of those men. If you can’t recognise the importance of a baby’s mother to the baby, what other absolutely profound and essential needs of the child do they not recognise? They aren’t suitable to be parents.

What a great article - laser focus on the actual issues.

Anyone who understands the vulnerability of a baby and how a mother/baby bond should only be broken in extreme cases (death, abuse, illness, addiction) will be appalled at these situations. To create this on purpose to fulfill adult's desires makes me feel physically ill.

Someday that baby will know that his father tried to bully his mother out of his life. Despicable humans those men.

I suspect that child's mum, if the kid is still young enough, will do her best to pretend to her baby that none of this ever happened. She'll possibly even try to be on good terms with the gay couple. What mum's do for their children.

And I think this baby is one of the lucky ones. The purchasers weren't able to sue, bully, buy or blackmail the mum out of her child's life.

Thank you for sharing. An excellently written article and an important case. Surrogacy is another thing I think lots of people don’t think too much about, and probably just think it’s a nice thing people do for couples who can’t conceive. But the total disregard and even contempt for the importance of the mother baby bond in this case (and many cases) is chilling.

I am very concerned about changes to the law on surrogacy.

This. With bells on.

Can we please ban use of the word "surrogate" in relation to "male parent only" families? A surrogate, by definition, is a substitute or person deputising for another. This makes logical, if not moral, sense when the situation described is a woman who wants, but cannot conceive or carry a baby, commissions another to fulfil this role. In the case of a loan male parent, or male couple, it makes no sense whatsoever. The woman who bears the child cannot be a surrogate, since there is no one to substitute for. She is simply the child's mother.

Very good point.

This is an industry that encourages the use of donor eggs despite the increased risk to both mother and baby (and indeed egg donor) in order to create a legal separation between mother and child. I am not surprised that this couple tried to force a similar scenario, surrogacy has never been about what's best for the baby.

The more I read about surrogacy, the more uncomfortable I feel with the whole concept.

Worth reading. Surrogacy is one of things that seems like a lovely idea, but the more you learn about it, the more questionable it becomes.

It is a good article. People considering going into these agreements need to understand that you can’t just use another adult for their genetic material (and womb/baby building capability, in this case) and then discard them because that genetic material is what your child is made of and forms an important part of their identity. We’re not living in the 1970s, we know plenty about how donor conceived children feel and adults who want to be parents need to act accordingly.

Women have little idea of how much men hate us, and envy our capacity to create life