At my kids’ Scottish school, it’s very clear that while it does exist, it’s individual teachers who spout it and it isn’t forced down everyone’s throat all the time. My DD has been told in a PSE/health lesson that a trans woman is just as much a woman as any other. She told me that with some eye rolling. But it’s not forced from the top. I think the head/SLT are quite cautious and have rowed back a bit from a few years ago when they made more of a thing about it. They called one parent I know to tell her her child was identifying as non-binary in school, so they seem to care about the not keeping secrets thing.
There have been parents who’ve brought the issues to their attention quite early on, and it blew up in the local press that they were teaching nonsense, and I think they did listen. From what I understand, trans-iding students go to separate single toilets and my DD hasn’t encountered males in the girls toilets (she’d freak out if she did as she’s had bad experiences with male harassment).
My older DC told me the “gender kids” have their own clique but people generally ignore them and think they’re silly. I wouldn’t condone any bullying at all and I think those kids need support, but I also think it’s good that the others seem to not be being brainwashed with unevidenced ideas.
I’m sure it depends a lot on who’s at the top or making decisions, and whether they are signing up to ideological advice and input from charities and outside groups, and whether they have clubs that encourage kids to think they might be trans, and whether they have policies that encourage it. For example if you say trans girls and anyone NB can go in the girls toilets and changing rooms, not only are there some males there who genuinely think they are (and that’s bad enough for the girls) but also some boys will abuse that and it will become a big problem.
It’s also noticeable that every girl I’ve known of who’s identified as NB or a boy, has wanted to be with the girls for toilets, changing rooms and school trips. That’s been respected because of course the schools know they are safer that way.