Some help navigating Primary school and approach to gender identity

[MumUnsure]

We've recently recieved enrollment forms for DD(4) to start reception in September. Form asks for both Sex and Gender Identity.

I fully understand the school needs to know and it's just a question on a form, but I suddenly realised I have no idea of their stance on the subject or how to broach or navigate it with the school either.

Before anyone asks what the big deal is, both DH and I are GC. Everyone should be free to live their lives as they see fit but I do not want DD learning incorrect information about her body or believing humans can change sex. My concern is what narrative the school might take and also practical things like changing and sports clubs. As it's primary the last two are not as concerning as the first though.

Innocent and expected questions have already come up about bodies and the differences between boys and girls. We have been age-appropriately factual and she's had the 'My Body is Me' book for a while too. We're happy with her understanding right now.

The reality is I don't want to be 'that mum' and create a problem where there isn't one or single out my kid because of my questions. Do I just assume they're doing it right and with the Cass report things are hopefully balancing anyway and deal with questions as they come up? Or do prod now?

Thank you

**edited for clarity

DH and I just cross out anything on gender and gender id and put SEX IS (SEX OF CHILD)

You're not causing trouble, you're adhering DfE guidelines. When they're not.

Thanks @teawamutu that would be a good option. But in fairness to them they have asked both questions, one asks for sex and the follow up is gender identity. It's an online form so no option to cross out.

My thoughts aren't really on the fact they've asked though, as in current climate I understand why they have. It's more that I have no idea what their stance on it is 😬

Fist take a look at their website. See what policies they have and make sure there are no references to Stonewall / Mermaids, trans children etc. Hopefully it's all appropriately child centred. Look for their SRE and Equality policies

When you visit the school, take a look at displays etc .

Many schools have completely avoided all this, keeping their focus on children. If they have been captured by trans activism, you'll see it and then you can challenge.

Safe Schools Alliance have lots of resources if there are problems but fingers crossed this will be a child / education centred school:

https://safeschoolsallianceuk.net/

@MrsOvertonsWindow this is super helpful, thank you so much! Will do exactly that. Thank you for the link also.

My DD started school last year, and I had wondered if I should ask about their approach. I decided not to at this point, BUT, we did not have a question on a 4 year olds "gender identity" on the registration forms. I think if I had seen that, I would have wanted to probe a bit more, as to me it indicates that they (or someone...perhaps it comes from the council rather than the school?) believe a 4 year old could have a valid gender identity which is not the same as their sex.

My DN's school sent out information proactively about what is covered in relationships/sex education (not sure what exactly it is called in primary school) at different points during primary, including the timings. I thought that was helpful, and made me think it would be fine to ask for this as a starting point and then see if there is anything in that you might want further information on.

The govt schools census no longer asks 'gender' - it has changed to sex. 'Gender' is now not mandatory for the govt census so you could ask why the school needs it for your child. When my children started the school prior to this, they gave me a paper medical form and I changed gender to "sex" because they didn't even ask sex for the medical information!)

Schools now can choose themselves whether or not to collect this 'gender' information, which they do not define. Hopefully, in the future, it will become clear in diversity legislation that you shouldn't mandatorily need to believe in a 'gender identity' for yourself and can declare sex when it is needed. Then any gender Q could have the option "not applicable/don't want to say".

Below is from: www.gov.uk/guidance/complete-the-school-census/changes-for-2022-to-2023

@Imicola and @BunnyBerries didnt want to read and run as in the middle of something but a quick thank you both for your helpful responses

So basically, schools used to only ask 'gender'. Now they have realized they should have been asking 'sex'.

They've changed the mandatory data item to sex, but kept gender as an optional schools can record, though on some schools forms they seem to have made it mandatory to "pick" a gender.

This thread covers everything you can do to ask now, to make sure they are in compliance with the law (hint, they are not)

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5050647-cass-report-school-policies-write-to-your-childs-school-for-evidence-their-current-policies-and-practices-are-lawful-and-in-line-with-the-cass-report-links-starter-info?page=1

can you leave gender identity blank? or put 'none'

Extra points for 'None. Because she's FOUR'.

I wouldn't call myself a TRA but I also don't identify with a lot of the extreme GC views I see on here.

But if I saw this on a primary school form for a four year old, I'd want to speak to the school about it and why they felt they should ask this question about children so young.

Four year olds are too young to have a gender identity different to their sex.

I would mainly want to know more from a point of view of whether the school have a good level of awareness of issues affecting children at the moment.

Asking this about a four year old makes them seem a bit clueless so I would have a conversation.

I don't know if it is covered the links covered above, but I would want to know their policy about children living by stealth. I know of a 9yo who is known to school (except a very few staff) and their friends as the opposite sex to which they are (they changed school after parents socially transitioned them very young). There is the dishonesty of this, but also the practical impact on e.g. yr 6 residentials, school teams etc. I think this is very very wrong and would worry about a school which facilitates this.

I really don't get this. If you genuinely believed the child you grew was " born in the wrong body", wouldn't you support snd encourage them to wait and explore their personality?

I cannot imagine the mental load and burden of deceiving everyone around me about my biological sex - never mind for a child. And what about the separation of facilities by sex post 8 years old? To start on this path, you must assume the use of puberty blockers very early.

It seems so hard as opposed to seeing if they grow out of it and helping them if they don't.

Oh I don't get it either. It is almost abusive in my eyes. Cass is helpful here - very strong discouragement.

This is the consequence of pretending to young children that their bodies are wrong and a sex change will cure them:

https://www.transgendertrend.com/childhood-social-transition/

I would be really concerned by being asked about “Gender Identity” by the school. My oldest is a few years older than your DC, and I know a few mums are very worried about this issue. Fortunately our school seems quite good on this so far, but we are all quite proactive in asking the school to see any materials on PSHE workshops (particularly ones run by external agencies).

I would definitely say keep an eye on things and don’t be afraid to ask the school to see any materials.

Really is a fantastic article, sums it all up so well

Having read this thread, I checked my DCs school record. It used to say Gender, which always pissed me off, but that’s now been quietly changed to Sex.

If a primary school asked about Gender Identity, I’d be very concerned.

Has it got any options other than M/F?

Also my local primary in Brighton does. They all do here I think...

You could always play the idiot and ask them what gender identity means.

This of course is why parents are concerned - when an adult male claiming to be a woman uses a Year 2 class of 6 - 7 year olds to discuss gender identity and their personal choices.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2024/04/24/parents-school-complain-trans-teacher-gender-southampton/

Just Not Known and Not Specified. No, Non-Binary or other ‘identities’. Male and Female plus the two Nots I listed in my first sentence.