Cass report and men...

[akkakk]

I have posted a fair bit on this part of Mumsnet recently - supporting a GC response and understanding of the trans-ideology challenges we are seeing in society...

Not surprisingly - most on here with that view point are female (I am male) so seeing the responses to the Cass report on here today I went onto Pistonheads (a very male forum) to compare the reaction - zero discussion or response.

I appreciate that there is drive for women to not allow men to take over their spaces / sports / very definition, and so there is perhaps a logic that fewer men are involved in the necessary push-back against the trans-ideology movement... but the Cass Report is not about women's spaces, it is not about toilets and sports etc. (despite those being hugely important topics), instead, at its heart, it is a response to what will no doubt be seen as one of the biggest safeguarding scandals to hit our country - where adults experimented on children who had no capacity to make those decisions by themselves and relied on the adults to protect them - where mental health issues were swept under the carpet in an ideological fantasy world that surgery would somehow work, whereas it was only ever a validation of a skewed adult perspective, not a solution for children crying out for help...

So, the Cass report is as relevant to men as women - we all as adults carry a duty of care and safeguarding towards the children in our society... it is so superb that Dr Cass has stood quietly and firmly as a rock against what sometimes appeared to be a dominant incoming tide - hopefully it will be a huge catalyst for change... but that needs all adults to take responsibility - for what society has done, and for what we do going forward to sort out this mess.

So, in asking who is standing up to support this and help work towards bringing back a balanced society which actually cares for our children - I have to ask, where are the men? Sure, a few have been vocal publicly but very few... it will be interesting to see how this now plays out - this part of the story is not just a woman's story or campaign (and I really am not devaluing the other elements where I have been a very vocal supporter), this is a society issue that needs resolving and if we don't have the engagement of all parties it won't happen.

To be honest, I think the reason men are less vocal about this is because they don't really believe it's really happening.

Unlike women, we've not been brought up to be kind, to be the the least important people in the room. There are loads and loads of women who have fully bought into the narrative, that are proper trans "allies". Whereas you talk to most men about it, and the usual response is "Well they're blokes in a frock aren't they, but you can't call them that because you lose your job", so they put their pronouns in their emails, cause it'll keep certain people quiet, and roll their eyes at the whole thing.

And because they think the whole thing is ridiculous, they think everyone else really thinks that behind the performative TWAW. And so they don't think that anything bad is actually happening, because who'd let a bloke into female weightlifting, or a women's prison. That would be daft.

The way to convince a man that the world has gone mad is through examples. This is why Isla Bryant cut through. You can point to it and go, "See, this is what's actually happening, this is the endgame of putting your pronouns in your email.". Suddenly a whole load of men sat up and thought "What the fuck, I can see his dick through those leggings, why is he being placed with women!"

The tide is turning at the moment, and things like the Cass report are helping it turn. The news has been full of stuff rover the last few days that will have been making men thing "Huh, I didn't know that was happening"

And as the tide turns, most men will shrug, think "That was weird, thank fuck that's over", and take their pronouns out of their emails.

The ones that will struggle, that will have to be dragged back over the golden bridge kicking and screaming, are the female "allies". The ones who bought into the delusion, who willingly subsumed their rights, who sat in a room that was burning and said "This is fine".

My DH is loudly vocal about the issue and has been from the start and he doesn't care who he talks to about it or how they react. It's nearly always him who brings up the subject but I join in too. Many times I've listened to him talk about 'the biggest attack on women's rights we've ever seen' and I'm glad he's so angry about what's been happening. In some cases we've changed minds but others refuse to listen.

@Bobbotgegrinch I hadn't thought of it like that but I think you're right.

I'm a man and talk about the issue quite a bit. In my experience, women care a lot more about the issue, but about 50% are vehemently TWAW, whereas men about 80% think it's obvious nonsense, with an eye roll.

I think that's mainly about women being the main enforcers of social rules, and men looking for an easy life.

I also think that from men there's a bit of: well, "they" (meaning women, or even children) go along with this stuff, so on their own heads be it.

It affects how I talk about the issue too:

With men: put my strongest case for the absurdity and harm of TWAW in about four sentences, with an air of authority but levity, then shut up. Median response: "yup". I just want to normalise that as a speakable, obvious, position. Main risk to avoid is being written off as a weirdo.

With women: ask questions, only, to plant seeds. Main risk to avoid is being written off as a heretic. (Or I get an instant GC ally!)

I have been talking about this too with my family and friends but unfortunately lots of them just couldn't see it at the time.

The lack of safeguarding of children is everyone's issue!

I argued with a female friend on SM who was posting about "what a brave woman Eddie Izzard is".....she has daughters FFS!

DW was worried for a while that I might lose my job as I refused to put pronouns in my email signature (despite having a unisex name and am frequently addressed as miss/mrs) and was sending links that were posted here to anyone and everyone in my workplace.

I have also been dismissed from a venue I worked at for years, after a stand up arguement with the name venue manager who insisted a man in a dress, with a very visible bulge, should be entitled to use the female toilets, after I had refused him.

DC is a teen and is very firmly GC as are others his age, they can see through the bullshit as well.

I hope the tide is well and truly turning.

A couple of years ago our Local Authority revised some of their schools' policies to include updated guidance around trans-gender children.

A male Councillor brought a motion to the Full Council meeting to ask they consider Safeguarding very carefully in connection with the proposed policy changes. The Labour-led administration, with Leader and Deputy Leader both being women, refused to even allow his motion to be debated, because they put party politics ahead of the Safeguarding of children and young people. The Councillor who raised the motion being Conservative. Particularly disgraceful given they all have a duty of care to be Corporate parents.

Thank you. Plans are very much afoot to kick off.