Turned down a job on principle

[careerchangenamechange]

(nc for this as it might be outing, old timer here)

I was recently offered a job at a company that makes breast pumps and other tech for women. How lovely, I thought. A progressive start up that focuses on the female experience and motherhood. I even flagged in interview that I was a mumsnet regular, as a sort of underhand declaration of my position on this topic, and they didn’t start screaming T*RF. So far, so good.

But after the final interview I did a deeper dive into their blog/socials, and discovered that I’d have to be on board with writing about ‘chestfeeding’ and about how trans women can breastfeed. I emailed the recruiter and told them exactly why I was withdrawing my candidacy, saying that I expected a company based around female biology to centre women.

I was vaguely cheered to note that they replied acknowledging that ‘this space can be a complex one, and we completely respect your decision’. I’m willing to bet that a few years ago I’d have openly been called a bigot, so I think we’re making baby steps in the right direction.

Just wanted to a) highlight this ridiculousness in a company THAT DEALS WITH FEMALE BIOLOGICAL FUNCTIONS and b) seek some solidarity as I contemplate my bank account this month (it was a well-paid role!)

Just think how unhappy and despondent you’d have been in that role if you had to compromise your principles. You’ll find a much more rewarding position soon I’m sure 👍

Who wrote that crap on their website? Would you have been in a position to over-rule them? Do you think all members of the management have thought about it in any depth? I appreciate what you're saying but sometimes it's possible to make changes from within.

Well I guess a number of their products probably go to those who enjoy the fetishisation (is that a word?) of women's bodily functions, solely from a revenue point of view, it doesn't make sense to be openly GC.

From a moral and ethical POV, shame on them and good on you!

YANBU.

I think I know the company you mean. The giant inflatable tit popping up in London looked like someone had dropped a tissue recepticle in a heavenly operating theatre.

they lost their minds.

It actually makes me very reticient to work for any company that has a gender aspect to it as it forces you to have to have a position - even something that is meant to be proactively good for women now I would avoid, its just awful. Good for you to speak up!

Well done, OP. Especially for telling them why. They now know they’ve lost someone that they wanted to hire, and presumably for a responsible position as it was well-paid.

They’ve made the mistake of obeying a group that’s noisy and aggressive. But it’s not large and it has no need to buy their products. I hope they’re thinking about that.

Thank you all 💐

It’s fascinating to compare how easy it felt to stand up for myself at nearly 40 years old to how much I would have agonised about this in my 20s. I’d worry I’d not get another job/go on some sort of blacklist/be seen as ‘rude’. But there was no hesitation this time - I give not a single solitary fuck and would rather be broke than compromise my principles.

Exactly, hopefully they will realise that alienating my demographic (mothers who might use or recommend their products) is not the wisest business move.

Well done OP, I understand it's hard to take a stand and say no I don't agree - especially around this issue where the pushback can be so harsh. It's interesting you mention how different you may have behaved in your 20's, I think we have to spend years unlearning female socialisation to really confront this shit.
A good friend of mine did something similar recently with a small company that made period products. She started using them because the company was started by women and she wanted to support that - but then got a load of emails about 'people who menstruate' and other bollox that very much did not centre women, so she emailed them and told them why she would not be buying their products again.
I really hope companies start to see how much they are alienating their core customers.

Good for you!

Endorsing the lie that male bodies can successfully feed babies is too far. They can't. Given that not even all women can successfully breastfeed, men can just get over their inability instead of expecting us to cheer on experimentation on newborn babies.

well quite! i couldn’t breastfeed (ironically given the company’s main product) and i got fuck all help. Other mothers I know with low milk supply etc experienced the same. Guess we just weren’t a cool new version of ‘woman’ and didn’t merit attention.

Absolutwl. I also pointed out in my email to them that I was happy to write about and promote trans men breastfeeding (because they are biologically female) but not trans women, because they are not biologically female and can’t breastfeed. End of.

Very well done OP. As #OperationLetThemSpeak has escalated, more and more women (and men) are aware of the dangerous aspects to this ideology and are gaining in confidence at speaking out.

An organisation openly abandoning safeguarding babies in favour of prioritising a male fetish - what a world we're living in 🙄

Hi all, just thought I’d update - been offered a job that pays 20k more than the first one and doesn’t appear to require me to go against scientific reality 😁thanks for all your support!

Amazing! Congratulations!

What a great outcome for you. Well done.

Excellent outcome.

careerchangenamechange · Today 12:34

Hi all, just thought I’d update - been offered a job that pays 20k more than the first one and doesn’t appear to require me to go against scientific reality 😁thanks for all your support!

How bloody doubly excellent! I'm happy for you.

That is very. heartening, well done!

Congratulations!

Good for you on the first job and even better for you on the second! Congratulations

Woo hoo! Congratulations!