When Police Scotland Come to Interview Us Can We Offer a Tunnocks?

[RethinkingLife]

We've packing lists for go bags but have we discussed the etiquette of what to do when Police Scotland call for a chat?

If it's to the house, do we offer use of our facilities? Tea and Tunnocks?

If we're invited to the local station, what's the guidance on and ? Can we pack our own flasks?

I thought the plan was to all identify as NB? I'm not sure which snacks NB people offer - please advise.

I'd make off on a scooter if you have one, just try not to fuck it up completely, you'd look like a right twat.

Jaffa Cake? Pleasingly neither a cake, nor a biscuit, or definitely a cake/biscuit depending on the (VAT) context?

Genius.

Does anyone know if there are iced fancies in suffragette colours? Or iced gems?

Supermarket search facilities are rubbish at a time of crisis.

Would Mr Kipling bring out a Special Edition range?

Cut out the middleman and just identify as a jaffacake/biscuit.

Marginally more plausible and likely to be effective than me thinking I should learn how to make fondant and how to ice (it's never ended well for me, the kitchen surfaces and walls, or any living creature in the vicinity, tbh).

Arrange the following on a plate - Viscounts, white Oreos and Cadbury's dairy milk mini bars.

Iron bru? Made in Scotland from girders (even though it isn't).

Inspirational choices there. I'm now regretting that I don't know anyone returning from Australia who'd fetch me some Violet Crumbles.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pack-Violet-Crumble-pack/dp/B00R38WQN6/

I'm reading through the traybake thread for some ideas in case this all gets quite expensive and we need to start helping each other out with tried and tested recipes for approved snacks. If Mars and apple sandwich is a thing (white and green) then adding in some Violet Crumble should do the business. I can see these sandwiches will be stocked in Greggs' fridges as part of a meal deal for those called to a chat with Police Scotland.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/3527870-Which-is-the-tastiest-Protestant-traybake?

https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/scottish-city-highest-number-greggs-30257490

Please don't flame me if it's a crap idea but if there is a man in your house, could they wear a french maid uniform to let them inside the house and serve refreshments?

In order to be able to offer Tunnocks one has to have not been a greedy cow and eaten them all within 24 hours of the shopping arriving last week!

(I may resemble the above remark)

I've just rustled up some suffragette biscuits for the polis

.

@Boiledbeetle
Hate crime biscuits? Them flowers can be very triggering for people with tree trunks.
Bugger forgot the gif!

I could save my kitchen a lot of mess (and me a lot of time) if I have that printed onto an edible transfer and then I can stick them onto any handy Hobnob, Rich Tea, Marie, or Digestive biscuit. (Are shortcake or Dundee biscuits still a thing?)

Would look good on the sponge side of a Jaffa Cake.

Tree trunks....

Looks at thighs

Triggered

Eyeing up likely candidates and sizing them. My needlework is worse than my fondant and icing skills. Maybe I could put something together from black or white binbags…

They'll hate these ones then

Those look too good to eat. AI is amazing.
I would go as far as to say those biscuits are just as much if not closer to being an actual women than a "woman" with a cock, balls, and a conviction for rape, despite them being biscuits not human beings.

Genuinely exquisite!

Maybe the plate should be next to a copy of Mrs Pankhurst's Purple Feather?

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mrs-Pankhursts-Purple-Feather-Feminism/dp/1781316546

WHAT IF THE POLIS COME KNOCKING?

The polis have arrived
and they're standing right outside,
shall I open the front door
or behind the sofa do I hide?
Shall I invite them in
and feed them tea and cake,
whilst they check through my devices
for rampant crimes of hate?

@Boiledbeetle
How long before they bake the reporting to the police directly into the AI?
For all we know the AI is already reporting you every time you ask it to generate suffragette cakes. I reckon you've probably racked up a 10-15 stretch already. Ask to be housed in a men's prison, it will be much safer...........

I'm going to Scotland next week, so I'm very excited to see if my woman adult human female sticker on the van gets reported as hate crime.

I'm not up to baking amazing suffragette bikkies, so I might take a couple of reduced Easter eggs from Lidl.

😱

Luckily I've been stealing next doors Wi-Fi so they be looking in the wrong dung heap!

They're actually going to @Balancedbeetle's house!