Words from a midwife

[ohsuzannah]

My apologies if this has already been posted.

stopsurrogacynowuk.org/2024/02/29/words-from-a-midwife-guest-post-from-anonymous-short-read/

Thank you Op.
It's heartbreaking what we're allowing to happen to babies - real life trafficking of human beings.

Very well written. Just vile how the men who own the surrogacy agency think and treat the women they use.

“And the grotesque fad of lying on a hospital bed, as through they have just given birth themselves, is doing nothing to convince our new recruits that this transaction is anything other than a horrendous experience for the mother who has just given birth, and for the baby who has been removed from his or her mother literally seconds after being born”

That is like the horror sex in The Handmaids Tale. It is awful.

Just awful😢

My friend purchased a baby from a Ukrainian surrogate mother and honestly I have never looked at her in the same way again. I strongly think all surrogacy should be banned.

It infuriates me that the whole definition of biological motherhood is being redefined.

I am my children's biological mother NOT 'because they are from my egg' but because I grew them from scratch, for 9 months my body was their home and I gave birth to them. THAT is what made me their mother.

This falls into the category of: just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should do it. This post proves that.

I really, really hope we don't follow so many other western nations where this topic is concerned. The current situation is more than enough as it is.

I have a real difficulty with surrogacy. Both DD and I almost died during the last couple of months of my pregnancy and I was advised to never get pregnant again. It was suggested that DH and I could consider surrogacy if we wanted more children. I hadn't even processed the suggestion before DH asked if it could be morally acceptable to expect another woman to take our risk. Never loved him more.

That made me well up.
I hope you and your DD are okay now.

We're both absolutely fine @Vebrithien . Thanks for asking.

Just bizarre that the midwife is expected to transfer her care from the woman who has just given birth to the perfectly healthy, unaffected adults. They are not the patients! The birth mother and the baby are the patients.

I have a colleague who bought a baby from Colombia, via an agency and I didn't hear about it until all the "congrats" were given in a small meeting. I felt sick and numb thinking about the poor baby and mother and what circumstances she must be in to do that.

I think the fourth trimester is not spoken about enough either - that mother-baby bubble that lasted (in my case) for the first four months of my daughter's life was very healing for me, as I suffered incredibly bad post-natal anxiety, almost to the point of mild psychosis as I was plagued with mental images of her coming to harm.

My daughter would scream as soon as she was put down or held by anyone else, but having her strapped to my chest in a sling for the majority of the day made us both feel safe and secure.