Menopause Support at Work

[InterestingUsernameTBC]

My work is getting all concerned with the menopause. So they've trained some managers and they've had some events and now they've set up a menopause forum. It's a monthly group. 'Everyone welcome'. But because some people might not feel comfortable speaking about the menopause in a mixed sex group, they've also set up a single sex menopause support group... for men. I kid you not.

I do know it shouldn't, but that did make me laugh.

That's where we are now, isn't it?

I don't suppose there's any chance it's for decent men who want to support their wives / partners through the menopause...?

Which would be very nice, but it doesn’t stop this being pretty tone-deaf.

How funny, my work is also in the process of setting up a womans group and a menopause group - what are all these new groups really for?

I hope they give out those packs to help the poor men cope.

Not quite the point, @Floisme.

I definitely wouldn't have wanted to discuss my menorrhagia, with all its attendant horrors, with men present. Why can't women ever have women-only groups now?

They probably get points for being a good employer with one of those institutions that give out prizes.

Well yes it is but why do men need a choice of 2 menopause groups to attend and women just get one. And that's mixed sex.

My friend laughed out loud when I told her. She so didn't see it coming. But my husband thought it was a perfectly reasonable setup.

I'd make a point of asking why men get their own single sex group to discuss a process that doesn't happen to them yet women have to have a mixed sex only group.

Because if the excuse is that some men aren't comfortable discussing these things around women then they must also see that some (most) women wouldn't be comfortable discussing these things that actually affect them mentally and physically around men.

I'd also point out that a lot of women will exclude themselves from groups with men in when discussing things like flooding, clotting, pains, hot sweats etc so will not be getting support the network is supposed to be providing because they are prioritizing men and men's feelings.

Jeesus

Jaysus there’s not a chance I’d have discussed menopause symptoms with men from work

My boss TOTALLY disregarded my suggestion we have menopause policy. He pretty much chortled!

It really is all about men. I don’t hear trans men shouting about their rights.

My NHS has set up a staff menopause group for all ages and genders! WTF as a middle age woman who sailed through menopause I think I would have a bloody cheek going, can't imagine what woman struging would think if a teen bloke turned up.

join in - identify as a man and talk about it to them?

to be serious though - the women where you work should have a group without men in it. How about you set up your own - informal if necessary - where you can talk freely with your peers and other interested women?

And leave the other two groups to the men.

If this is in the UK, they are in breach of The Equality Act 2010 as they are discriminating against women. They have to offer the women a single sex menopause support group. Men could have a menopause discussion group.

I wasn't being entirely serious! Not my best ever joke admittedly. I also made the assumption that mens group would be for males only.

I've struggled to say anything about it because initially I was too cross. I appreciate your calmness in addressing the issue. The next hurdles are that I am still quite new, I don't want to mark myself out in any way. I'm on a temporary contract and I although I'm working on a project for the organisation I am actually employed by another organisation who works for them.

There are 2 members of staff involved. One is the EDI lead, specifically employed to come up with these kind of things. The other, I know has been dragged into it. She's new and has been asked to link up with this stuff because she's the most appropriate. Neither of these staff members cross paths with me during the course of my work so I would have to go out of my way to start a conversation about this or I would have to email. I'm not happy with either approach but I do have my innocent question ready in case I ever find myself in a lift with them or something.

You don't have to approach them, you can go to HR, or ACAS. Or both.